The Politician Out-Witted Part 21

SCENE VII. _TRUEMAN'S House._

_Enter TRUEMAN_ [_reading a letter_].

This is very unaccountable;--Richard Worthnought, eigh:--I wish, Mr.

Worthnought, you had been at my school a while, before you scrawl'd this wretched epistle:--but the subject is still more unintelligible.

_Enter WORTHNOUGHT._

WORTHNOUGHT. Mr. Trueman, I am yours.

TRUEMAN. I deny it.--Heaven forbid, such a thing as you should be either mine or my daughter's!

WORTHNOUGHT. I should not gain much credit by the alliance, I believe.--You have received my letter, sir, I presume.

TRUEMAN. I think you _presume_--rather more than becomes you, sir.

WORTHNOUGHT. I find, the foolish old Put don't like me. [_Aside._]--I am sorry you do not approve of my offer; but, but--a--rat me, but I must have her, for all that. Ha, ha, ha;--'foregad, I must, old gentleman.

_Enter OLD LOVEYET._

LOVEYET. But I say you shall not have her, sir;--there, I suppose you will have the impudence to call _me old_ gentleman next.

WORTHNOUGHT. Demme, sir; what have _you_ to do with his daughter?

LOVEYET. Nothing; but my son has something to do with her: ha'n't he, friend Horace?

TRUEMAN. Heyday! what does all this mean?--Has any State rejected the new Const.i.tution?

WORTHNOUGHT. Come, let's have no palitics, for gad's sake;--rat the canst.i.tution:--I wou'dn't give _une Fille de joye_, for all the musty canst.i.tutions in christendom.

TRUEMAN. By the dignity of my profession, you never read Publius then; or you would have liked _one_ const.i.tution.

WORTHNOUGHT. Publius! ha, ha, ha.--I read Publius! Not I, sir, I a.s.sure you:--an _outre_ fellow,--a dull, mysterious, mechanical writer, as ever I refused to read, split me.

LOVEYET. So he is, so he is, sir: by my body, I am glad to find _somebody_ of my mind.

[_TRUEMAN and LOVEYET retire to the back of the stage._

_Enter FRANKTON and HUMPHRY._

FRANKTON. You saw him go into Miss Airy's house, this morning, you say.

HUMPHRY. Yes. [_Walks thoughtlessly about the stage._

FRANKTON. I think, this is a tolerable confirmation of the matter.

[_Aside._

WORTHNOUGHT. Hah,--Frankton;--'foregad, I am yours, superlatively.

FRANKTON. Are you, positively? Hah,--she is here. [_Enter MARIA, on the opposite side._] Your humble servant, Miss Airy.

MARIA. [_Pretends to take no notice of FRANKTON._] Mr. Trueman, I hope I have the pleasure to see you well.

TRUEMAN. I thank you, madam. [_Resumes his discourse with LOVEYET, who does not yet observe MARIA._]

MARIA. I hoped to have found Miss Harriet here, sir.

TRUEMAN. Madam?-- [_Turns to LOVEYET again._

LOVEYET. Therefore, sir, as I was telling you, I am determined to have her. [_To TRUEMAN._

TRUEMAN. [_Leaving LOVEYET._] How is this, madam?--Mr. Loveyet tells me, he is determined to have you.

FRANKTON. Who! How!--Have who, sir? [_Loud and earnestly._

LOVEYET. [_Seeing MARIA._] By my body, there she is herself.--Have who, sir?--Why, have this lady, sir; who do you think?--My sweet Miss Airy, I have the transcendent pleasure to kiss your hand, ugh, ugh.

MARIA. Oh, fie, Mr. Loveyet.--I will have the pleasure to tease Frankton, now. [_Retires with OLD LOVEYET, whispering, and looking tenderly at him._]

FRANKTON. Amazement!--The _old_ fellow! [_Aside._

WORTHNOUGHT. This is all very astanis.h.i.+ng, 'foregad:--demme, but she deserves to die an old maid, if she has _him_. [_Aside._

MARIA. [_Pretends to observe FRANKTON, for the first time._]--Mr.

Frankton!--I did not observe you before: I give you joy of your friend's arrival, sir;--I suppose you have seen him;--he is very agreeable.

FRANKTON. Then I need not ask you, if you have seen him, madam.

MARIA. He was at my house not two hours ago.

FRANKTON. Did not you see him before that, madam?

MARIA. I did not, sir.

FRANKTON. Detested falsehood! [_Aside._

MARIA. The old gentleman acquainted me of his arrival, only a few minutes before.

LOVEYET. Eigh, how,--old gentleman!--she did not mean me, I hope.

[_Aside._

FRANKTON. And you think Mr. Loveyet is so agreeable then.

LOVEYET. Aye, that's me;--by my body, he is jealous of me. Ha, ha; poor young fool! [_Aside._

FRANKTON. He thinks very highly of _you_, I a.s.sure you, madam; he speaks of you with admiration.

MARIA. And what of that, sir?--You speak as if you thought him my _only_ admirer. [_Affectedly._