Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 202

Copyright, 1916, by Alice Gerstenberg.

All rights reserved.

THE POT BOILER was first produced by the Players' Workshop, Chicago, Ill., on the night of November 20th, 1916, with the following cast:

THOMAS PINIKLES SUD [_the playwright_] _William Ziegler Nourse_.

WOULDBY [_the novice_] _Morton Howard, Jr_.

MR. IVORY [_the financier_] _Henry Ryan_.

MR. RULER [_the hero_] _Donovan Yeuell_.

MISS IVORY [_the heroine_] _Caroline Kohl_.

MR. INKWELL [_the villain_] _H. C. Swartz_.

MRS. PENCIL [_the woman_] _Anna Buxton_.

THE POT BOILER is published for the first time. The editors are indebted to Miss Gerstenberg for permission to include it in this volume. The professional and amateur stage rights on this play are strictly reserved by the author. Applications from amateurs to produce the play should be addressed to Norman Lee Swartout, 24 Blackburn Road, Summit, N. J. Professionals should address Miss Alice Gerstenberg, 539 Deming Place, Chicago, Ill.

THE POT BOILER

A SATIRE BY ALICE GERSTENBERG

[SCENE: _A stage only half set for a morning rehearsal and dimly lighted. Sud, a successful playwright, enters in a hurry carrying a leather bag of ma.n.u.scripts._]

STAGE HAND. Good morning, Mr. Sud.

SUD. Good morning, Gus. Just set two doors; that'll be all I'll need this morning. We're rehearsing for lines. [_Steps down stage and calls front._] Joe, I'm expecting a young man, it's all right, let him in.

WOULDBY [_from auditorium back_]. I'm here now, Mr. Sud.

SUD. Come up, Mr. Wouldby. Some more border lights, please.

WOULDBY. It's very good of you to let me in.

SUD. I was fond of your father. I am glad to see his son.

WOULDBY. I have written a play, too.

SUD. Too bad, too bad, you make the price of paper go up.

WOULDBY. It must be wonderful to be the master playwright of our day.

Everybody knows Mr. Thomas Pinikles Sud.

SUD [_setting stage_]. Yes, it is a privilege to be a friend of mine!

WOULDBY [_pursuing Sud_]. Will you read my ma.n.u.script, sir?

SUD. Never roll a ma.n.u.script. I see very well you don't even know the first principles.

WOULDBY. How can I learn the first principles? No one will tell me.

SUD. Wait, I will do a great thing for you, let you stay and see a dress rehearsal of my latest play, "The Pot Boiler." In it I have used all dramatic principles.

WOULDBY. What are they?

SUD. Well, for instance, this pencil is the woman in the case.

WOULDBY. Pencil!

SUD. This inkwell is the villain, although that's really too dark for him. Deep-eyed villains are out of fas.h.i.+on.

WOULDBY. Inkwell!

SUD. The heroine is Miss Ivory paper cutter.

WOULDBY. Ivory!

SUD. Mr. Ruler is the hero.

WOULDBY. Ruler!

[_Other characters enter from stage door._]

SUD. I haven't finished writing it, but we're going through it this morning as far as I have written, then I shall see how to go on. Here are the players now. Line up, please, and let me see your costumes. [_He studies them._] Now to work--[_Rubbing his hands._] to work--clear the stage!

[_Mrs. Pencil and Ruler go out left; Mr. and Miss Ivory and Inkwell go out right and close the door._]

SUD. Mr. Wouldby, if you sit down here with me, we'll be out of the way.

[_Sud and Wouldby sit on two stools way down right._] You must imagine that this room is the library in Mr. Ivory's house. [_Sud claps his hands and calls._] Ready.

[_There is a pause, then the door up left opens and Mrs. Pencil comes in; her pantomime is as Sud explains it to Wouldby._]

SUD [_in stage whisper to Wouldby_]. The adventuress--she comes in--she has been cut--she is worried--that nervous twitching of lips and narrowing of eyes are always full of suspense--she takes off her gloves, her hat--that's good business. A door opens--she starts--by starting she shows you she is guilty of something--

MISS IVORY [_without hat or gloves enters from right_]. Oh, there you are, Mrs. Pencil.

MRS. PENCIL. Yes, I'm back.

MISS IVORY. I thought I should have to drink my tea without you.

[_They sit down to tea--Miss Ivory back of table center. Mrs.

Pencil left of table._]

SUD [_in stage whisper to Wouldby_]. That tells the audience what time of the day it is; besides, drinking afternoon tea shows Miss Ivory is in society.

MRS. PENCIL. Isn't your father going to join us?