Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 207

RULER. I'm used to doing that, my dear. What gets me is the story of the plot the Sunday edition printed. How can the newspaper know the plot before the playwright does?

MISS IVORY. Doesn't Mr. Sud know his own plot?

RULER. Why! No, my part's not written after the second act.

MISS IVORY. My part isn't either, but it doesn't worry me. These authors--[_She points to her forehead._] I don't memorize until dress rehearsal night. What's the _use_. _They don't know themselves_ by that time what lines they told you to keep in or put in or take out. The next morning the critics re-write it _anyway_ for the manager--_I_ don't begin to memorize really--until we're settled for a _run_.

RULER [_worried_]. You'll throw me all out if you give wrong cues--

MISS IVORY [_rises and strolls about_]. Oh! When I can't use my tongue, I let my eyes talk. The public doesn't know the difference. _I_ don't have to act, just be myself. They engage _me_ for my _eyes_.

SUD. Ah! Here's a precious line [_Goes up to Ruler._], take it down, Mr.

Ruler. "I was in the neighborhood looking for some real estate." [_All the players suppress a laugh._] Now, Mr. Ruler, you enter in time--[_Sud goes down the stairs again._] You enter in time to interrupt Mr.

Inkwell's declaration of love to Miss Ivory. They spring apart--spring!

Mr. Inkwell! [_Inkwell springs._] No, the house is not on fire!--I didn't say jump.

INKWELL. Spring is the same as jump!

[_Ruler enters from left. Inkwell goes right, Miss Ivory comes center._]

SUD. There is no time to discuss synonyms. Go on, Miss Ivory.

MISS IVORY. Oh! Jack--h.e.l.lo!--where'd _you_ come from?

RULER. I was in the neighborhood looking at some real estate--h.e.l.lo, Inkwell--how's the strike?

[_Miss Ivory and Ruler cross to give Ruler the center._]

INKWELL. If you could persuade Mr. Ivory to--

RULER. No--Inkwell--I'm not converted to your view! I have my own theories!

SUD [_at left speaks across in delight to Wouldby_]. Now we are coming to the kernel of the play's success. The new viewpoint--Use all the stock character and situations you want, but add a new twist.

WOULDBY. What does Ruler think?

SUD. Listen.

RULER. I believe sternly in justice--righteous expiation of sin--only in that way can we progress to higher things.

SUD. Forms, not things.

RULER. Beg pardon, forms--the position I hold to-day is the result of my desires in my previous life--when the trumpet calls me into the next--there I shall reap the harvest of what I have sown here. Why should we help the brick-layers?

[_Miss Ivory interrupts, "Mr. Sud."_]

SUD [_waves her silent_]. Sch!

RULER. If they chose in their past life to be born brick-layers here, have we the right--

[_Miss Ivory interrupts several times. Miss Ivory is on stage left._]

SUD. Sch!!

RULER. I ask you--have we the right to tear down the building they designed when they were here before? Have we the right to say to them how they shall lay the bricks in the foundation for their next life?

Have we the right--

MISS IVORY. Mr. Sudd!!!

SUD [_at last in desperation_]. Well, what is it, Miss Ivory?

MISS IVORY. Excuse me, Mr. Sud--but all this time--while Ruler is talking--I don't know what to do with my _hands_! Couldn't you _cut_ his lines?

RULER. I protest! Mr. Sud, I would resent having a part shortened on me because the leading lady doesn't know what to do with her hands. I really think in this speech of mine you have shown your talent. To cut one word of it would do you a great injustice!

SUD [_smiles at Ruler_]. Thank you! Quite so! Quite so! Miss Ivory, during this scene you might be--you might be--be--fanning yourself--to keep yourself the heroine, cool and white.

WOULDBY. How well you understand human nature. The play is really more important than the players--isn't it?

SUD [_aside. Goes back on stage and sits next to Wouldby_]. Of course, but actors are so superbly conceited.

WOULDBY. I know--poor things!

SUD. Mr. Ivory's entrance.

WOULDBY. The girl's father?

IVORY [_enters_]. I could not find the papers in the safe, Inkwell.

Ah--how-do-you-do, Jack.

POSITIONS

_Inkwell_ _Miss Ivory_ _Mr. Ivory_ _Ruler_

[_Ivory has crossed to Ruler and is between Miss Ivory and Ruler._]

RULER. Good morning, Mr. Ivory.

IVORY. Daughter, dear--do you know anything about the papers in the safe?

SUD. Keep up the suspense--Inkwell.

INKWELL. I have no lines here.

SUD. A villain should sustain the suggestion of villainy whether he has lines or not. Look uneasy--tremble--

[_Inkwell looks uneasy and trembles._]