General John Regan Part 35

"That comes to 100 3s. 6d.," he said, "and we've not put down anything for postage. You'll have to get your nephew to knock another 10s. off the price of the statue. After all, when he said 81, he must have been prepared to take 80, and he'll have to cut the inscription for us without extra charge."

"He might," said Doyle, "if we approached him on the subject."

"He'll have to," said Dr. O'Grady, "for 100 is all we've got, and we can't run into debt."

"He did say," said Doyle, "that 3d. a letter was the regular charge for cutting inscriptions."

"We'll make it short," said Dr. O'Grady. "We won't stick him for more than about 10s. over the inscription. After all long inscriptions are vulgar. I propose that Mr. Thaddeus Gallagher, as the only representative of the press among us, be commissioned to write the inscription."

"We couldn't have a better man," said Father McCormack.

"I'll not do it," said Gallagher. He had a solid reason for refusing the honour offered to him. The writer of an inscription at the base of a statue is almost bound to make some statement about the person whom the statue represents.

"You will now, Thady," said Doyle, "and you'll do it well."

"I will not," said Gallagher. "Let the doctor do it himself."

"There's no man in Connacht better fit to draw up an inscription of the kind," said Father McCormack, "than Mr. Gallagher."

Thady Gallagher was susceptible to flattery. He would have liked very well to draw up an inscription for the statue, modelling it on the resolutions which he was accustomed to propose at political meetings in favour of' Home Rule. But he was faced with what seemed to him an insuperable difficulty. He did not know who General John Regan was.

"Let the doctor do it," he said reluctantly.

"Whoever does it," said Doyle, "it'll have to be done at once. My nephew said that on account of the way we are pressed for time he'd be glad if the words of the inscription was wired to him to-day."

"It would, maybe, be better," said Father McCor-mack, "if you were to do it, doctor. We'll all be sorry that the words don't come from the accomplished pen of our respected fellow citizen, Mr. Gallagher??"

"I'll not do it," said Gallagher, "for I wouldn't know what to say."

"Write it out and have done with it, O'Grady," said the Major. "What's the good of keeping us sitting here all day?"

"Very well," said Dr. O'Grady. "After all, it's not much trouble. How would this do? 'General John Regan?Patriot?Soldier?Statesman?Vivat Bolivia'."

"We couldn't do better," said Father McCormack.

"What's the meaning of the poetry at the end of it?" asked Gallagher.

"It's not poetry," said Dr. O'Grady, "and it doesn't mean much. It's the Latin for 'Long live Bolivia.'"

Gallagher rose to his feet. He had been obliged to confess himself unable to write an inscription; but he was thoroughly well able to make a speech.

"Considering," he said, "that the town of Ballymoy is in the Province of Connacht which is one of the provinces of Ireland, and considering the unswerving attachment through long centuries of alien oppression which the Irish people have shown to the cause of national independence, it's my opinion that there should be something in the inscription, be the same more or less, about Home Rule. What I say, and what I've always said??"

"Very well," said Dr. O'Grady, "I'll put 'Esto Perpetua,' if you like.

It's the same number of letters, and it's what Grattan said about the last Home Rule Parliament. That ought to satisfy you, and I'm sure the Major won't mind."

"I'm pretty well past minding anything now," said the Major.

"There's no example in history," said Gallagher, "of determined devotion to a great cause equal to that of the Irish people who have been returning Members of Parliament pledged to the demand which has been made with unfaltering tongue on the floor of the House at Westminster??"

"Get a telegraph form, Doyle," said Dr. O'Grady, "and copy out that inscription while Thady is finis.h.i.+ng his speech."

"There's one other point that I'd like to mention," said Doyle, "and it's this??"

"Wait a minute, Thady," said Dr. O'Grady. "We'll just deal with this point of Doyle's and then you'll be able to go on without interruption.

What is it, Doyle?"

"My nephew says," said Doyle, "that he'd be glad of a cheque on account for the statue; he having been put to a good deal of out-of-pocket expense."

"Very well," said Dr. O'Grady, "send him 25. Now go on, Thady."

"Is it me send him 25?" said Doyle doubtfully.

"Of course it's you. You're the treasurer."

"But it's you has Mr. Billing's cheque," said Doyle.

"I haven't got Mr. Billing's cheque," said Dr. O'Grady.

"If you haven't," said Doyle, helplessly, "who has?"

"It's my belief," said Gallagher, in a tone of extreme satisfaction, "that there's no cheque in it."

"Do you mean to say, Doyle," said Dr. O'Grady, "that you've been such a besotted idiot as to let that American escape out of this without paying over his subscription for the statue?"

"You'll never see him again," said Gallagher. "He's not the first man that skipped the country after letting everybody in."

"Gentlemen, gentlemen," said Father McCormack, "order, please, order."

"We'll have to drop the whole thing now," said the Major, "and I must say I'm extremely glad."

"I'm no more an idiot than you are yourself, doctor," said Doyle, "and I won't have language of the kind used to me. How was I to know he hadn't given you the cheque?"

"You were the treasurer," said Dr. O'Grady. "What on earth is a treasurer for if he doesn't get in the subscriptions?"

"That nephew of yours will have his statue on his hands a bit longer,"

said Gallagher.

He still spoke in a tone of satisfaction; but even as he contemplated the extreme disappointment of Doyle's nephew it occurred to him that there might be a difficulty about paying his own bill for 3. The same thought struck Father McCormack.

"Gentlemen," he said, "there's been an unfortunate mistake, but it might be worse."

"That American fellow has us robbed," said Gallagher.

"We'll prosecute him when we catch him," said Doyle.

"It might be worse," said Father McCormack. "We haven't spent very much yet. The dresses for Mary Ellen can hardly have been put in hand yet, so we won't have to pay for them."

"There's my bill," said Gallagher.