Don’t Tell Me This Is the True History of the Three Kingdoms! Vol 2 Chapter 16.1

As the Governor of Yu state, just like in Xu state, it’s not like I have nothing to do. And the story this time begins from a certain Court session.

“Hai~~~ The food is getting worse and worse these days. Stupid eunuch, have you all been embezzling the food budget huh?” Emperor Xian of Han said as he sat lazily in the main hall, with one leg propped up on a eunuch nearby. And as he irritably complains about his private life, he unwittingly reveals a shady side of the goings-on in the palace.

“N, no I haven’t… I, It’s just your misconception.” The old eunuch’s frantic denial told us all we needed to know.

“Un, since you said so then I won’t pursue this further.”

… And as usual, Emperor Xian of Han lets it go just like that.

“But really, your meals have only been unpalatable for a few days so please bear with it for now your majesty.” State Uncle, who was kneeling in the first row, said.

Though he was kneeling, to be able to say such rude words show his true position in the Imperial Court.

—- Please bear with it your majesty!

… Looks like everyone’s a fan of State Uncle.

These fellows really don’t think much of the Emperor huh… Though I too am like them in this regard.

But thinking about it another way, he is the Emperor after all. As the Son of Heaven, his quality of life should generally be better and if he is unsatisfied with anything, it’s not like he can’t raise the issue but does he have to do it during Court? It’s doing things like this that diminish the majesty and reputation of Emperor Xian of Han.

“Your majesty, I will think of a way to resolve the matter of your meals.”

Just as Emperor Xian of Han was at a loss as to how to respond to the officials, Meng De saluted and kowtowed after flicking her dress with a serious expression as she proposed to seek a solution. As expected of Meng De, she will always fearlessly stand out at these times.

Over these few days, I have been privy to the fiscal situation of the country and learnt that it was not that tax revenue was insufficient. Rather, it was because of the many layers of officials in the bureaucracy who siphon off a bit at every stage before taxes reach the treasury.

“Un, as expected, the Imperial Chancellor is the one who truly understands.” Emperor Xian of Han nodded as he grabbed onto the lifeline that Meng De had given him. “Then I’ll leave the matter of improving my meals to you.”

“Your servant hears and obeys.” Meng De kowtowed once more.

Hai~~~ Though Meng De is doing this out of goodwill for the Emperor, I’m sure that the Finance Ministry won’t give Meng De any additional money for this.

“The next matter is… Fan Chou in Chang’an… Ah, how do you read this?” Emperor Xian of Han read falteringly from a scroll he picked up from the console table after moving on from the matter of his meals. “Ah… What do we do about this huh?!”

(TL: Fan Chou is a subordinate general of Dong Zhuo.)

How are we supposed to know what to do when we don’t know what’s going on and you have not finished reading yet?

“Your servant has already made the necessary arrangements to resolve this.” Meng De said seriously once more. “I have already sent 30,000 troops to suppress Chang’an. If nothing goes wrong, then we should be able to hear some good news by this afternoon.

“Though I don’t know how many 30,000 is, but good! … Ah…” Emperor Xian of Han looked the dozen odd scrolls on the console table that needed to be addressed and rubbed his creased eyebrows before– “Court is adjourned!”

You’re just giving up!!

Of course, I didn’t tsukkomi out loud.

Emperor Xian of Han got up exaggeratedly and didn’t even look at us before leaving, after which the officials slowly got up.

“Hai, my back hurts from kneeling so much… And my b.u.t.t as well.” I got up with great difficulty and felt like if I had to kneel for another half hour, my legs probably wouldn’t be able to carry me out.

“Maa, that can’t be helped. When I first started being an official, it was like that too. It gets better as time goes on.” Meng De said, probably to console me.

But I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life kneeling here. Leaving aside whether I make it back to my time or not, I can’t possibly waste my precious time here.

“Speaking of which, Meng De, why did you propose to be the one to improve the Emperor’s meals? That should be under the purview of the palace administration right.”

“Maa, I didn’t plan to at first, since taking care of even that would be a bit too much.” Meng De laughed dryly and stretched her back.

“But Xuan De, have you thought about the issue at hand?” Meng De’s expression became serious instantly and she looked at me in the eye while a bead of sweat streamed down her face.

“Wh, what is it?” I wanted to back off but I was caught by Meng De’s gaze and could neither look away nor leave.

“You’ve seen how Emperor Xian of Han is like. Can you imagine how he would be when he grows up, and due to a lack of nutrition, is as… Innocent as he is now?”

… I know, Meng De, you wanted to say dumb just now right.

“Now that you mentioned it, that is indeed a concern.” I finally understood how dire the situation was, and where Meng De was coming from when she made that decision.

“Right?!”

… But I feel like Meng De is more like a babysitter for Emperor Xian of Han. Though it is as Meng De said, it would be terrible if that kid becomes even dumber from a lack of nutrition.

“But Meng De, what are your plans?” I said as I looked at her. “You don’t have a budget for this, so how will you improve his meals? Are you going to pay out of your pocket every time and buy food from restaurants for him every meal?”

“No, I have my own plans of course, how could I possibly pay out of my pocket?”

“Then you’re…”

“Un, I have my own ideas.” Meng De cut me off with an ambiguous reply. “Ah, right, bring your subordinates to my house tonight.”

“Please don’t call them subordinates, it feels weird to me.” Calling them companions is so much better. “But why this all of a sudden?”

“Nothing much, I just wanted to invite you all over to my place for dinner.” Meng De blinked as she said so. “When the time comes, I’ll also tell you how I intend to solve the problem of the Emperor’s meals.”

“Haa… I got it.”

But why do you have to make it seem so mysterious?

“Also, don’t forget to get everyone to bring some ingredients of their own. It will come to good use then.” Meng De said before she left.

Ingredients?

… I think I know what we’re going to eat.

“Dinner at Meng De’s place?”

“Un, with everyone she said.” I replied to Yun Chang. “And she also said to not forget to bring ingredients.”

“Ingredients? Could it be that we’re going to cook there ourselves?” Zhang Liao said as she sat in the corner of the room. Seems like she always puts herself in places that are generally out of sight.

“Though there is that possibility, I don’t think so.” In my mind, I could see what it would be like already. “Cheer up everyone, we might be able to try something we haven’t eaten before.”

—- Oh~~~

“We’re really looking forward to it, right Red Hare.” *w.a.n.g*! Even Feng Xian had an excited smile on her.

“Feng Xian, you can bring it along, but don’t let it go onto the table.”

(TL: Imagine if someone accidentally dips it in LOL)

“Un.” Feng Xian wore an expression that looked like a child whose parents have agreed to buy a toy for.

It was obvious that everyone was eagerly antic.i.p.ating tonight’s dinner, and was guessing what it could be.

“About the ingredients.” “Did Lord Cao Cao give any specifications?” “Or can we bring anything?”

“Un, bring anything you want. Of course, the more premium they are, the better.”

Honestly, I was hoping that someone would bring some cooked food over.

“Premium?” “Looks like we’ll have to spend quite a bit.” “Maa, we’ll just have to pick something with higher purity.”

… What were these 3 talking about again?

“But since we’ve already decided then let’s go prepare.” Yi De sid as she raised a hand, and then yelled out, “Oh!~~~”

—- Oh!~~~ Everyone, including me, followed her cheer.

Indeed, apart from Court, life in Xuchang is really relaxed, bland even, so perhaps Meng De’s invitation is to give us a little colour in our lives.

Although it’s just a meal.

“Is it a hotpot as expected?” I said softly.

As predicted, it is indeed a hotpot.

It was now evening, and we had made our way to Meng De’s place with our ingredients. The moment we stepped in, we saw a bronze cauldron in the middle of the main hall which made me think that ‘Ah, Meng De really likes this huh’.

“Oh, Xuan De, you’re all here already huh. Our side is all seated here too.”

“Un? Your side is…” I looked behind Meng De after she said so—-

Indeed, they’re all here. Xu Chu, Dian Wei, Li Dian, Yue Jin, Xiahou Dun, Xiahou Yuan… Looks like we’ve met them all before. They were all seated in the main hall and saluted us as we entered, which we returned in kind.

“But looks like Meng De is planning on treating us to this as expected huh.” I said as I gestured toward the bronze cauldron in the main hall with my chin.

“That’s right, letting everyone try this helps to promote it as well. As for this bronze cauldron, I specially borrowed it from that restaurant.” Meng De always seemed so excited when it came to hotpots. “In any case, don’t just stand there and come on in.”

“Alright, let’s go in then.” I replied and bade everyone to enter.

As everyone happily made their way into the main hall, Meng De seemed to have thought of something all of a sudden and called out to us. “Ah, that’s right, don’t bring out your ingredients yet.”

“Un? Why?” Yi De asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know myself. It’s what my Feng Xiao told me to say.” Meng De said with a helpless smile.

Though n.o.body could understand Feng Xiao’s intentions, everyone was unperturbed by this and happily accepted Meng De’s request as they stuffed their ingredients back in their bags and walked into the main hall.

Feng Xiao? Guo Jia is it? I didn’t think he, no, maybe it’s her, would be here.

“So Lord Guo Jia is here today then. But why does it seem like Lord Guo Jia isn’t around here…” I asked Meng De as I stood outside the main hall.

I looked around the main hall, but couldn’t find anyone who I hadn’t met before.

“If you’re talking about Feng Xiao… She’s behind you now.”

“h.e.l.lo…”

“Waa!!!”

A frail voice that sounded like that of a ghost came from behind me, along with a wave of cold wind that blew onto my neck, made me scream out in shock.

“Xuan De? Are you alright?” Only after hearing Meng De call out to me did I return to my senses and turn back to take a look. Indeed, there was a lifeless looking girl with long black hair standing straight right behind me even though no one was there before.

“… So mean.” She said, in the same ghastly, floating tone from before.

Yo, you’re the mean one okay? That seriously scared me.

“Introduce yourself, Fengxiao.” Meng De said, and Guo Jia walked out from the dark corner.

“I’m Guo Jia Guo Feng Xiao. As you can see, I’m a living dead person.” She said as she reached out her hand.

She actually called herself a living dead person… This era should not have any zombie movies, and naturally no Jiangs.h.i.+ in official uniforms like in the Qing dynasty.

(TL: I didn’t translate Jiangs.h.i.+ as they are a pretty unique existence that is both zombie and vampire as defined in the Western context. You will know if you ever saw any horror B-movies from Hong Kong, China or Taiwan that involves them. In any case, Guo Jia is 100% human, she’s just exaggerating.)

“Ah, h.e.l.lo. I’m Liu Bei Liu Xuan De.” I reached out and shook her hand, and found that Guo Jia’s hand was hard and cold like an ice bag.

“Un…” Her smile gave me an ominous feeling and even made all my hair stand on end, so much so I retracted my hand instinctively.

I carefully sized up Guo Jia. She was wearing a plain white dress, the sort that people usually wore to sleep. Her bangs were long at the side and covered part of her eyes such that only half of each of her 2 dead looking eyes could be seen. Her head was always tilted slightly upwards as though her neck was tired, and her face had an unhealthy pallor. There were also several strands of hair that left her bangs which she was biting on. All in all, she gave me a gloomy and dark impression.

And…

“U, umm, aren’t you going to wipe the blood at the corner of your mouth?”

And she had some dried blood at the corner of her mouth.

“Un? … Ah, no I’m not… If I wipe it off, it will only keep flowing…”

… The pretty girl smiled charmingly, but I must say she keeps giving me the sort of vibes that you feel when watching horror movies.

“Maa, it’s just a small matter, so don’t mind it so much.” Meng De said as she patted my and Guo Jia’s backs… Speaking of which, Meng Dr, can you stop patting?! Miss Guo Jia is spewing blood!!

“Th, then let’s make our way in.” I said as I smiled rigidly, trying my best not to think too deeply about what just happened.

“Un, let’s go, everyone’s waiting for us.” Meng De replied and then turned to Guo Jia, “Tell everyone about the rules of the game we thought of in a while.”

“… Un.”

Guo Jia’s smile in response to Meng De made me feel a primal fear that permeated my entire body and shook my very core. as I was filled with an ominous feeling for what was to come.

However, the story of this night, was just about to begin.