The 'Mind the Paint' Girl Part 5

Exactly! And when a decent, eligible young chap comes along, and means business, he's choked off by finding Nicko Jeyes in possession.

[_Stopping before MRS. UPJOHN._] But, I say!

MRS. UPJOHN.

Wot?

ROPER.

_Farncombe_ hasn't tumbled to it yet.

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Indifferently._] 'Asn't 'e?

ROPER.

Bertie Fulkerson's held his tongue about it; so have the other boys who're friends of Farncombe's. _They_ see he's hard hit.

[_Enthusiastically._] Oh, they're good boys; they're good, loyal boys!

There's not one of them who wouldn't throw up his hat if Nicko got the chuck. [_Suddenly._] Ma!

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Startled._] Hey?

ROPER.

[_Dropping his voice._] This little spree to-night at the theatre-- Lil thinks it's to be merely among the members of the Company.

MRS. UPJOHN.

Ain't it?

ROPER.

[_Sitting beside her._] You keep quiet, now. No, it isn't.

MRS. UPJOHN.

'Oo----?

ROPER.

The boys-- and Farncombe.

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Disturbed._] Gracious! There'll be an awful fuss with the Captain to-morrer.

ROPER.

[_Snapping his fingers._] Pishhh!

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Rising and walking away to the right._] 'E's so 'orribly jealous.

When Lil tells 'im 'oo was at the party, there'll be a frightful kick-up!

ROPER.

[_Falling into despondency._] Oh, I dare say I'm a fool for my pains, Ma. Nothing'll come of it. [_Rising and pacing the room again._]

Farncombe's as shy as a school-girl; he'd be on a desert island with a pretty woman for a month without squeezing her hand.

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_In an altered tone._] Uncle.

ROPER.

Hullo!

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Thoughtfully._] _I_ shouldn't raise any objection, bear in mind, if Lil could be weaned away from the Captain and took a fancy to young Farncombe.

ROPER.

Objection!

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Sitting on the settee in front of the writing-table._] All said an'

done, to be Lady F., with no need to work if you're not disposed to, is better than bein' Mrs. Captain Jeyes an' 'avin' to linger on the stage, p'r'aps, till you drop, to 'elp keep the pot a' boilin'.

[_Opening her eyes widely._] Lady F.!

ROPER.

[_Coming to her._] And Countess of G.o.dalming when his father dies.

MRS. UPJOHN.

I s'pose there'd be any amount of unpleasantness with the fam'ly?

ROPER.

[_Disdainfully._] The family!

MRS. UPJOHN.