The 'Mind the Paint' Girl Part 57

[_After a while._] Hope I haven't dropped in too early?

LILY.

[_Settling her shoulders into the cus.h.i.+ons._] Not a bit, dear.

JIMMIE.

It's nearly half-past twelve. I-- I _dashed_ round. [_After another pause, unable to restrain herself further._] Any news? Any-any-anything to tell me?

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Abruptly._] Yes.

JIMMIE.

W-w-what----?

MRS. UPJOHN.

Lil's engaged.

JIMMIE.

Hah! [_Triumphantly._] Hah, hah! [_Clapping her hands and beating her feet upon the floor._] Hah, hah, hah, hah! [_Jumping up and sitting beside LILY and hugging and kissing her._] Oh! Oh! Oh! Y'm! Y'm! Y'm!

Oh, you humbugs! [_Rising and rus.h.i.+ng at MRS. UPJOHN and embracing her._] You solemn humbug, Ma! [_Leaving MRS. UPJOHN and singing and dancing to the refrain sung in the previous Act._] "If you would only, only love me;--" Ha, ha, ha! "If you would merely, merely say,----"

[_Her voice gradually dying away as she sees that the expression on LILY'S face, and upon MRS. UPJOHN'S, doesn't alter._] "Wait but a little-- [_standing still_] little-- for me----"

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Caustically._] Yes, you _'ad_ better wait a little; you'd better wait till you 'ear _'oo_ she's engaged _to_.

JIMMIE.

Who-- to!

LILY.

[_Studying her nails._] _Whom_ to, mother.

JIMMIE.

Why, isn't it----?

MRS. UPJOHN.

No, it ain't. It's the Captain.

JIMMIE.

T-t-the Cap--! [_To LILY._] N-n-nicko? [_LILY nods. JIMMIE draws a deep breath._] Oh-h-h-h!

LILY.

[_Calmly._] Nicko turned up here early this morning-- while Eddie-- while Lord Farncombe was with me, in fact-- and I-- we-- the three of us-- we talked matters over, and-- and----

JIMMIE.

[_Her eyes starting out of her head._] Was there a row?

LILY.

Oh, don't be so curious, Jimmie. Poor Nicko has been after me for six years. A girl must play the game, if she's at all decent and wishes to preserve a shred of self-respect.

[_Again there is a pause and then JIMMIE silently resumes her seat in the arm-chair._

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Moistening her lips with her tongue-- to JIMMIE._] 'Ow do you feel about it?

JIMMIE.

[_Thoughtfully._] How do I feel about it? [_To LILY._] May I say?

LILY.

[_Coldly._] Certainly.

JIMMIE.

[_Rubbing the arm of her chair with the palm of her hand._] Well, if I were on board a s.h.i.+p at this moment, I should be ringing for the stewardess; that's how I feel about it.

LILY.

[_Throwing herself, face downward, at full length upon the settee._]

Oh! Oh, you're just like the rest of our girls on the question of marriage! You-- you-- you're detestable!

JIMMIE.

[_Sliding out of her chair and kneeling at the settee and putting an arm round LILY._] Oh, Lil-- Lil----!

LILY.

[_Repulsing her._] Yes, you are! [_Raising herself upon her elbow._]

You'd rejoice to see me draw this boy into my net, wouldn't you! You know you would. [_MRS. UPJOHN rises and comes forward._] I dare say you jolly well wouldn't object to catching him yourself if you'd half a chance! [_Fiercely._] You try it; you try it-- you, or any of you!

JIMMIE.

[_Attempting to rise, scandalised._] Oh----!