A Book for All Readers Part 30

At the New York Free Circulating Library, a youth of twenty said Shakespeare made him tired. "Why couldn't he write English instead of indulging in that _thee_ and _thou_ business?" Miss Braddon he p.r.o.nounced "a daisy". A pretty little blue-eyed fellow "liked American history best of all," but found the first volume of Justin Winsor's history too much for him. "The French and German and Hebrew in it are all right, but there's Spanish and Italian and Latin, and I don't know those."

A gentleman in Paris sent to the bookbinder two volumes of the French edition of "Uncle Tom's Cabin." The t.i.tle in French is "L'Oncle Tom," and the two volumes were returned to him marked on their backs:

L'Oncle, L'Oncle, Tome I. Tome II.

HOW A BIBLIOMANIAC BINDS HIS BOOKS.

I'd like my favorite books to bind So that their outward dress To every bibliomaniac's mind Their contents should express.

Napoleon's life should glare in red, John Calvin's life in blue; Thus they would typify bloodshed And sour religion's hue.

The Popes in scarlet well may go; In jealous green, Oth.e.l.lo; In gray, Old Age of Cicero, And London Cries in yellow.

My Walton should his gentle art In salmon best express, And Penn and Fox the friendly heart In quiet drab confess.

Crimea's warlike facts and dates Of fragrant Russia smell; The subjugated Barbary States In crushed Morocco dwell.

But oh! that one I hold so dear Should be arrayed so cheap Gives me a qualm; I sadly fear My Lamb must be half-sheep!

IRVING BROWNE.

In a Wisconsin library, a young lady asked for the "Life of National Harthorne" and the "Autograph on the breakfast table."

"Have you a poem on the Victor of Manengo, by Anon?"

Library inquiry--"I want the catalogue of temporary literature."

Query--What did she want?

A friend proposes to put Owen's "Footfalls on the Boundaries of Another World" in Travels. Shall we let him?

A poet, in Boston, filled out an application for a volume of Pope's works, an edition reserved from circulation, in the following tuneful manner:

"You ask me, dear sir, to a reason define Why you should for a fortnight this volume resign To my care.--_I am also a son of the nine._"

A worthy Deutscher, confident in his mastery of the English tongue, sent the following quaint doc.u.ment across the sea:

"I send you with the Post six numbers, of our Allgemeine Militar-Zeitung, which is published in the next year to the fifty times. Excuse my bath english I learned in the school and I forgot so much. If you have interest to german Antiquariatskataloge I will send to you some. I remain however yours truly servant."

A gentlemanly stranger once asked the delivery clerk for "a genealogy."

"What one?" she asked. "Oh! any," he said. "Well--Savage's?" "No; white men."

Said Melvil Dewey: "To my thinking, a great librarian must have a clear head, a strong hand, and, above all, a great heart. Such shall be greatest among librarians; and, when I look into the future, I am inclined to think that most of the men who will achieve this greatness will be women."

A LIBRARY HYMN.

_By an a.s.sistant Librarian._

I have endeavored to clothe the dull prose of the usual Library Rules with the mantle of poetry, that they may be more attractive, and more easily remembered by the great public whom we serve.

Gently, reader, gently moving, Wipe your feet beside the door; Hush your voice to whispers soothing, Take your hat off, I implore!

Mark your number, plainly, rightly, From the catalogue you see; With the card projecting slightly, Then your book bring unto me.

Quickly working, With no s.h.i.+rking, Soon another there will be.

If above two weeks you've left me, Just two cents a day I'll take, And, unless my mind's bereft me, Payment you must straightway make.

Treat your books as if to-morrow, Gabriel's trump would surely sound, And all scribbling, to your sorrow, 'Gainst your credit would be found.

Therefore tear not, Spot and wear not All these books so neatly bound.

These few simple rules abiding, We shall always on you smile: There will be no room for chiding, No one's temper will you rile.

And when Heaven's golden portals For you on their hinges turn, With the books for all immortals, There will be no rules to learn.

Therefore heed them, Often read them, Lest your future weal you spurn.

t.i.tLES OF BOOKS ASKED FOR BY WRITTEN SLIPS IN A POPULAR LIBRARY.

Aristopholus translated by Buckley.

Alfreri Tragedus.

Bertall Lavie Hors De Ches Soi.

Cooke M. C. M. A. L. L. D. their nature and uses.

Edited by Rev. J. M. Berkeley M. A. F. R. S. (Fungi.) Caralus Note Book (A Cavalier's).

Gobden Club-Essays.

Specie the origin of Darwin.

An Epistropal Prayer Book.