Never Thought You'd Be This Kind Of Hero! Chapter 42

I am a Wastrel

  

A smile appeared on Xu Jun's face as he heard this voice. The time spent in the Holy Light Elves' dreamland were his happiest moments within the game. For the most part, as long as he wasn't overly humble or arrogant, and was greedless, these Holy Light Elves would treat him well–of course, this was also because of his looks. Before coming to the Holy Light Elves' dreamland, he went to two spa sessions and raised his charm to the max. 

…After all, this was a race that valued looks.

The Holy Light Elves' Princess Ellie–who was now Queen Ellie–was also his good friend. She helped him obtain the Holy Light Elves' Wisdom Well Water and sap from the Tree of Life. Only then was he able to complete his quests and save the Golden Flag Empire's king. 

…This was also to let him shed off his ident.i.ty within the Golden Flag Empire. After all, he had been about to enter jail originally. Who could have known that he would get into a bar fight, and that he unluckily beat up the Golden Flag Empire's second prince?!

He still remembered how, at that time, he had almost fallen to despair. He had come to the Holy Light Elves back then in order to try his luck. The entire way he had been thinking: worst comes to worst, I'll simply become hostile towards the Golden Flag Empire, kill my way into the imperial palace, and slaughter the emperor!

Then, when he arrived at the periphery of the Holy Light Elves' dreamland, he discovered…why was the little magician that the stupid, idiotic second prince had molested here!

He still remembered seeing that little magician's black hair, covered by a hood, with a timid and helpless appearance within Olan city. They came over and grabbed his hand, dragging him straight out of the city–he still remembered running away under the evening sun. Such was his guiltless youth.

"You… what are you doing… even if you want to thank me, you don't have to be so… pa.s.sionate…"

With great effort, he spoke these words. However, upon exiting the city, the other immediately set up a deflective energy barrier. They then tore off their hood, turning their hair back to blonde with a point of their finger, and put their hands on their hips before Xu Jun's dazed face. "Thank you? This princess–why should I thank you?!"

Then, this arrogant young miss, with a chest so flat that one couldn't even tell she was a girl, hammered a fist onto Xu Jun's chest. "It's all your fault! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been discovered by some stupid humans! You p.i.s.s me off!"

Xu Jun: "…miss, what is wrong with you?"

His chest was then hammered upon by the young miss's small hands. It was only until later that he learned this young miss was actually the Holy Light Elves' Princess Ellie. Since she was curious about human society, she had snuck away to wander about. She had even traveled all the way to the Golden Flag Empire's capital, only to be molested by that second prince. Although it would have been difficult for her to escape, she did hold a chance of fleeing. However, Xu Jun showed his hand and beat up the second prince. 

"It's all your fault! You made such a large scene that even I was discovered! It's all your fault!"

Xu Jun's chest hurt from the hammering of the girl's small fists, but he only felt extreme tiredness–f.u.c.k, this is what you get for making rash decisions1! Why did you have to act out a hero saving a beauty for no reason? The other didn't even need your help alright?!

The Elven Princess Ellie's eyes moved around before she said, with a young girl's cunning and naughtiness, "However, right now I could use you, human. I need someone to help me escape their control. You'll definitely help me right?"

Xu Jun then understood that this might be related to his task of entering the Holy Light Elves' dreamland. Could it be that he would have an opportunity to obtain the two quest items through helping Her Highness the Princess?

Of course, he chose to help Her Highness the Princess. However, both of them were caught.He was then able to meet the Holy Light Elves' Queen and subsequently raised some goodwill with her. _(:зゝ∠)_ 

This had happened just a few months ago; however, now he felt as if it had been a few years. The Princess Ellie within his memories was a mischievous girl who loved to laugh. Different from the other Holy Light Elves, she did not hold a deep prejudice against humans. It was just that she was too mischievous and often had a young girl's naive thoughts. Xu Jun often found himself unable to handle her. 

However, even a young girl such as her would have her troubles. It was said that because of the Dark Demon King's birth, the concentration of dark elements in the air had increased. The dark element was like smog, harmful to the Holy Light Elves. At the time, Xu Jun had already been accepted by the Holy Light Elves, so he was allowed to be alone with Her Highness the Princess–the entirety of the Sacred Highlands was the home of the Holy Light Elves. They had absolute control over this land. 

Princess Ellie pinched her golden hair. "If one day the dark elements fill up the land, my beautiful blonde hair will turn into a dark and heavy black."

The melancholic girl faced towards Xu Jun as if expecting him to give some wise advice. Her eyes were a deep blue, yet now it sparkled with a watery light. Like this, she stared at Xu Jun, unblinking. 

Xu Jun found that he really couldn't understand a girl's heart. "…But didn't you dye your hair black when you wandered your way into the Golden Flag Empire?"

So now you dislike the color black? Miss, your mind is really hard to figure out, this baby can't understand it, ok?

Princess Ellie's expression cooled at a rate visible to the naked eye. She snorted before ceasing to say a word. Xu Jun had no idea how he had angered this fickle princess. They unilaterally continued this cold war for a day. It was only on the second day that things returned to normal. All that was left were some ambiguous feelings remaining in that certain afternoon. Then, as the warm sunlight ceased to s.h.i.+ne upon the young Elven princess and the human brave, not a single trace of ambiguity remained. 

–Of course, from beginning to end, Xu Jun had not noticed anything ambiguous. Even now, he still believed that the Elven princess had been angry because of something else.

After his recollection, a smile hung from Xu Jun's lips. Even Demon King Rozenke could feel his mellow mood. "Who is this?"

"Elven Princess Ellie, a good friend of mine," Xu Jun happily replied. "However, she's the Elven queen now."

Who are you trying to fool, Demon King Rozenke thought. Even if I've never eaten pork, I've still seen pigs run: you're already at this step, yet you're just good friends? Brave, you must be teasing me.

Queen Ellie finally appeared before Xu Jun. This time, even Xu Jun, who had little taste in aesthetics, was shocked by her beauty. Ellie was completely different from a few months ago–three years if one were to go by this world's time. The Elven princess he remembered had a round face with round eyes. With just a glance, it had been clear that she was just a young girl. She liked to wear pants instead of dresses for mobility, she liked to run and jump, and she liked to chase after the b.u.t.terflies which rested upon sunflower buds.

However, she was now dressed up, wearing the luxurious finery of a Holy Light Elf Queen, crown perched atop her head. Her every step was light, slow, and firm, each carrying the momentum of an Elven queen. She carried a high, refined, and dignified air, reminding Xu Jun of Her Majesty Queen Aikar. 

"…You're getting more and more beautiful, Your Majesty."

Like when he had left Princess Ellie, he extended his hand. These sorts of games with western settings always contained quite a bit of western etiquette: one would often kiss another's hand or cheeks. At first, Xu Jun was like a clumsy bear, but now he how to greet others elegantly and politely.

According to routine, Princess Ellie–No, Her Majesty Queen Ellie would reach out with her hand. This young Queen indeed reached out her hand, however, she didn't allow Xu Jun to go through with the greeting, but instead punched Xu Jun.

Xu Jun: "…Ellie, how dare you!"

Princess Ellie appeared unable to hold back her fury. "You promised me! That once you came to the Sacred Highlands, the first thing you would do would be to find me! You also said that even if you let loose all of these pigeon elders, you would still leave the best stuff for me!"

"In the end! Xu Jun! You actually started trading with the elders already?!!!

"Untrustworthy! b.a.s.t.a.r.d human!"

↑Every exclamation mark above corresponds to a hit that Xu Jun received↑

#Demon King Rozenke inexplicably smelled something sour; his heart also started to sour#

Xu Jun hugged his head and begged for mercy, "Stop hitting me, stop hitting me, big sister, your hand is so heavy–I left things for you, I brought you two jars of golden rose essential oils!!! –If you keep beating me, I'm going to resist!"

Knight Commander Jesse remained at the side, unconcerned. Although he felt sympathetic towards Xu Jun for being beaten into such a sorry state, Her Majesty Ellie had not smiled for a long time since Queen Aikar's death, and now was a good time for her to vent… Xu Jun, you'll have to suffer through this! 

Our Holy Light Elf race will surely thank you!

In this very chaotic scene, as the Brave Xu Jun, who had defeated the Demon King, found himself unable to escape from the tiny fists of the young, Elven queen, a young Holy Light Elf boy blasted over from the opposite side of the corridor like a miniature cannonball. "You're a bad guy! Big sis. .h.i.ts you! Ahhh! I will help big sis. .h.i.t you!"

Inside his mind, Xu Jun wildly hollered, "I won't die like this!" However, the small Holy Light Elf boy grabbed him by the waist, upsetting Xu Jun's balance, and causing Xu Jun to fall to the ground and die.

"If I were you, I would not be so close to these… unrestrained Holy Light Elves," spoke Demon King Rozenke with a tone that showed concern for stupid idiots as he coldly witnessed everything. 

Xu Jun gritted his teeth. Princess Ellie had actually held back when hitting him. However, he didn't know what this princess grew up eating; even though she had such a high affinity for magic, and should be a magician, her unarmed fighting skills were also so powerful–f.u.c.k, does she have the bloodline of a female orangutan?!

Furthermore… even if Ellie beats him, he couldn't retaliate, nor could he use defensive abilities, as he might harm her. All he could do was grit his teeth and endure. QAQ

Adding on to that, Prince Ryan was ruthlessly stabbing him with a knife in his heart, "Your missions was just to kill the Demon King. There was no need for you to travel the world, gaining favor with the various races. The current situation is all your fault."

Xu Jun felt greatly wronged. The games made by Gale dad were simply of this nature, yet he was taking the blame? In these days of free roaming games, most games would raise up a player base of wastrels. What about your wife being killed, son going missing, father addicted to collecting garbage2; what about your daughter leaving home and not knowing where your wife is3; whatever, just come play cards with me. Games with only one storyline of going up to the boss and initiating battle gradually decreased, while these games that forsook such honest work were on the rise. 

Shen Juan Continent, as a game with a high degree of freedom, couldn't be considered one that forsook honest work, but rather that it practically lacked them entirely. Only a few players would carefully and conscientiously think about how to defeat the bosses. This could be considered the sorrow of the bosses.

As for Xu Jun himself, he was attracted by the world's fresh and interesting customs. Along the way, he couldn't help but start looking at the various younger brothers and sisters, all the while doing business and selling merchandise everywhere–truly an ordinary lifestyle!

The author has something to say:

Today's Demon King Rozenke is truly pitiful_(:зゝ∠)_ 

Brave Xu Jun: Actually, I was originally too lazy to kill the Demon King. If it wasn't for the fact that I was almost done with the plot, I would not have gone to kill some Demon King! 

Demon King Zeze: …Oh, should I thank you then?

Translator's niche:

[1] Literally would translate to hitting a key by mistake, like when you're playing a game and then get screwed over by hitting the wrong key and feeling regret/blame about it later. ⏎

[2]Plot of Fallout 4, a game made by Bethesda. I haven't played it myself. I have played Skyrim though! ⏎

[3] Based on my meager knowledge of The Witcher 3, I think this might be what this is referring to. People who have actually played this, please confirm or deny, and offer alternatives if you think it's something else! ⏎