Mardi: and A Voyage Thither Volume II Part 10

(Somewhat twisted).

A quaint little Fish-hook.

(Made from the finger-bones of Kravi the Cunning).

The mystic Gourd; carved all over with cabalistic triangles, and hypogrifs; by study of which a reputed prophet, was said to have obtained his inspiration.

(Slightly redolent of vineyards).

The complete Skeleton of an immense Tiger-shark; the bones of a Pearl-sh.e.l.l-diver's leg inside.

(Picked off the reef at low tide).

An inscrutable, shapeless block of a mottled-hued, smoke-dried wood.

(Three unaccountable holes drilled through the middle).

A sort of ecclesiastical Fasces, being the bony blades of nine sword- fish, basket-hilted with shark's jaws, braided round and ta.s.seled with cords of human hair.

(Now obsolete).

The mystic Fan with which Unja fanned himself when in trouble.

(Woven from the leaves of the Water-Lily).

A Tripod of a Stork's Leg, supporting a nautilus sh.e.l.l, containing the fragments of a bird's egg; into which, was said to have been magically decanted the soul of a deceased chief.

(Unfortunately crushed in by atmospheric pressure).

Two clasped Right Hands, embalmed; being those of twin warriors, who thus died on a battle-field.

(Impossible to sunder).

A curious Pouch, or Purse, formed from the skin of an Albatross'

foot, and decorated with three sharp claws, naturally pertaining to it.

(Originally the property of a notorious old Tooth-per-Tooth).

A long tangled lock of Mermaid's Hair, much resembling the curling silky fibres of the finer sea-weed.

(Preserved between fins of the dolphin).

A Mermaid's Comb for the toilet. The stiff serrated crest of a Cook Storm-petrel (Oh-Oh was particularly curious concerning Mermaids).

Files, Rasps, and Pincers, all bone, the implements of an eminent Chiropedist, who flourished his tools before the flood.

(Owing to the excessive unevenness of the surface in those times, the diluvians were peculiarly liable to pedal afflictions).

The back Tooth, that Zozo the Enthusiast, in token of grief, recklessly knocked out at the decease of a friend.

(Worn to a stump and quite useless).

These wonders inspected, Oh-Oh conducted us to an arbor, to show us the famous telescope, by help of which, he said he had discovered an ant-hill in the moon. It rested in the crotch of a Bread-fruit tree; and was a prodigiously long and hollow trunk of a Palm; a scale from a sea-kraken its lens.

Then returning to his cabinet, he pointed to a bamboo microscope, which had wonderfully a.s.sisted him in his entomological pursuits.

"By this instrument, my masters," said he, "I have satisfied myself, that in the eye of a dragon-fly there are precisely twelve thousand five hundred and forty-one triangular lenses; and in the leg of a flea, scores on scores of distinct muscles. Now, my masters, how far think you a flea may leap at one spring? Why, two hundred times its own length; I have often measured their leaps, with a small measure I use for scientific purposes."

"Truly, Oh-Oh," said Babbalanja, "your discoveries must ere long result in something grand; since you furnish such invaluable data for theorists. Pray, attend, my lord Media. If, at one spring, a flea leaps two hundred times its own length, then, with the like proportion of muscles in his calves, a bandit might pounce upon the unwary traveler from a quarter of a mile off. Is it not so, Oh-Oh?"

"Indeed, but it is, my masters. And one of the greatest consolations I draw from these studies, is the ever-strengthening conviction of the beneficent wisdom that framed our Mardi. For did men possess thighs in proportion to fleas, verily, the wicked would grievously leap about, and curvet in the isles."

"But Oh-Oh," said Babbalanja, "what other discoveries have you made?

Hast yet put a usurer under your lens, to find his conscience? or a libertine, to find his heart? Hast yet brought your microscope to bear upon a downy peach, or a rosy cheek?"

"I have," said Oh-Oh, mournfully; "and from the moment I so did, I have had no heart to eat a peach, or salute a cheek."

"Then dash your lens!" cried Media.

"Well said, my lord. For all the eyes we get beyond our own, but minister to infelicity. The microscope disgusts us with our Mardi; and the telescope sets us longing for some other world."

CHAPTER XIX They Go Down Into The Catacombs

With a dull flambeau, we now descended some narrow stone steps, to view Oh-Oh's collection of ancient and curious ma.n.u.scripts, preserved in a vault.

"This way, this way, my masters," cried Oh-Oh, aloft, swinging his dim torch. "Keep your hands before you; it's a dark road to travel."

"So it seems," said Babbalanja, wide-groping, as he descended lower and lower. "My lord this is like going down to posterity."

Upon gaining the vault, forth flew a score or two of bats, extinguis.h.i.+ng the flambeau, and leaving us in darkness, like Belzoni deserted by his Arabs in the heart of a pyramid. The torch at last relumed, we entered a tomb-like excavation, at every step raising clouds of dust; and at last stood before long rows of musty, mummyish parcels, so dingy-red, and so rolled upon sticks, that they looked like stiff sausages of Bologna; but smelt like some fine old Stilton or Ches.h.i.+re.

Most ancient of all, was a hieroglyphical Elegy on the Dumps, consisting of one thousand and one lines; the characters,--herons, weeping-willows, and ravens, supposed to have been traced by a quill from the sea-noddy.

Then there were plenty of rare old ballads:-- "King Kroko, and the Fisher Girl."

"The Fight at the Ford of Spears."

"The Song of the Skulls."

And brave old chronicles, that made Mohi's mouth water:-- "The Rise and Setting of the Dynasty of Foofoo."

"The Heroic History of the n.o.ble Prince Dragoni; showing how he killed ten Pinioned Prisoners with his Own Hand."

"The whole Pedigree of the King of Kandidee, with that of his famous horse, Znorto."

And Tarantula books:-- "Sour Milk for the Young, by a Dairyman."

"The Devil adrift, by a Corsair."

"Grunts and Groans, by a Mad Boar."

"Stings, by a Scorpion."

And poetical productions:-- "Suffusions of a Lily in a Shower."

"Sonnet on the last Breath of an Ephemera."

"The Gad-fly, and Other Poems."

And metaphysical treatises:-- "Necessitarian not Predestinarian."

"Philosophical Necessity and Predestination One Thing and The Same."

"Whatever is not, is."

"Whatever is, is not."

And scarce old memoirs:-- "The One Hundred Books of the Biography of the Great and Good King Grandissimo."

"The Life of old Philo, the Philanthropist, in one Chapter."