The Queer, the Quaint and the Quizzical Part 5

"Varanes, by Mr. P., who will strive, as far as possible, to support the character of this fiery Persian Prince, in which he was so much admired and applauded at Hastings, Arundel, Petworth, Lewes, &c.

"Theodosius, by a young gentleman from the University of Oxford, who never appeared on any stage.

"Athenais, by Mrs. P. Though her present condition will not permit her to wait on gentlemen and ladies out of the town with tickets, she hopes, as upon former occasions, for their liberality and support.

"Nothing in Italy can exceed the altar, in the first scene of the play.

Nevertheless, should any of the n.o.bility or gentry wish to see it ornamented with flowers, the bearer will bring away as many as they choose to favour him with.

"As the coronation of Athenias, to be introduced in the fifth act, contains a number of personages, more than sufficient to fill all the dressing room, &c., it is to be hoped no gentlemen and ladies will be offended at being refused admission behind the scenes.

"N. B.-The great yard dog that made so much noise on Thursday night during the last act of King Richard the Third, will be sent to a neighbor's over the way; and on account of the prodigious demand for places, part of the stable will be laid into the boxes on one side, and the granary be open for the same purpose on the other. _Vivat Rex._"

_Boone's Spelling._

An old letter written by Daniel Boone, furnishes this specimen of original spelling:-

"I hope you Will Wright me By the Bearer, Mr. goe, how you Com on with my Horsis-I Hear the Indians have Killed Some pepel near Limstone."

_Vagaries of Spelling._

Queen Elizabeth spelt the word sovereign in seven different ways. The Earl of Leicester, her favorite, spelt his own name in eight different ways. Sir Walter Raleigh spelt his own name in more than eight different ways. In the deeds of the Villars family their name is spelt in fourteen different ways. In the family doc.u.ments of the Percy family their name is spelt in fifteen different ways.

_Singular Specimen of Orthography in the Sixteenth Century._

The following letter was written by the d.u.c.h.ess of Norfolk to Cromwell, Earl of Ess.e.x. It exhibits a curious instance of the monstrous anomalies of our orthography in the infancy of our literature:-

"My ffary G.o.de lord,-her I sand you in tokyn hoff the neweyer, a gla.s.se hoff setyl set in sellfer gyld. I pra you tak hit in wort. An hy wer habel het showlde be bater. I woll hit war wort a m crone."

_Translated._-"My very good lord. Here I send you, in token of the new year, a gla.s.s of setyll set in silver gilt. I pray you take it in worth.

An I were able it should be better. I would it were worth a thousand crowns."

_High-Sounding Prologue._

In a medical work ent.i.tled "The Breviarie of Health," published in 1547, by Andrew Borde, a physician of that period, is a prologue to physicians, beginning thus-

"Egregious doctors and masters of the eximious and arcane science of physic, of your urbanity exasperate not yourselves against me for making this little volume."

_Inducements to Subscribers._

For journals to offer inducements to subscribers is not a modern feature. A book was published in 1764, ent.i.tled "A New History of England, Manchester, printed by Joseph Harrop, opposite the Exchange."

At the end of this octavo volume, which consists of 778 pages, is the following:-

"TO THE PUBLIC.

"The History of England being now brought down to that period which was at first proposed, the Publisher takes this opportunity of returning his thanks to his friends and subscribers for the kind encouragement they have given his News Paper; and hopes that as he has steadily persevered in going through with, and given gratis, The History of England, at the Expence of upwards of One Hundred Pounds, they will still continue their Subscription to his paper, which he will spare neither pains nor a.s.siduity to render worthy their perusal.

JOS. HARROP."

_Composition During Sleep._

Condorcet is said to have attained the conclusion of some of his most abstruse, unfinished calculations in his dreams. Franklin makes a similar admission concerning some of his political projects which, in his waking moments, sorely puzzled him. Sir J. Herschel is said to have composed the following lines in a dream:-

"Throw thyself on thy G.o.d, nor mock Him with feeble denial; Sure of His love, and, oh! sure of His mercy at last!

Bitter and deep though the draught, yet drain thou the cup of thy trial, And in its healing effect, smile at the bitterness past."

Goethe says in his "Memoirs," "The objects which had occupied my attention during the day often reappeared at night in connected dreams.

On awakening, a new composition, or a portion of one I had already commenced, presented itself to my mind. In the morning I was accustomed to record my ideas on paper." Coleridge composed his poem of the "Abyssinian Maid" during a dream. Something a.n.a.logous to this is what Lord c.o.c.kburn says in his "Life of Lord Jeffrey." "He had a fancy that though he went to bed with his head stuffed with the names, dates and other details of various causes, they were all in order in the morning; which he accounted for by saying that during sleep 'they all _crystallized round their proper centres_.'"

_A Bill of Particulars._

A certain gentleman of Worcester (Ma.s.s.) sent a very fine French clock to a well-known jeweler to be repaired, saying that he wished each item of repairing specified. The following is a copy of the bill as rendered:-

To removing the alluvial deposit and oleaginous conglomerate from clock a la French, $0.50

To replacing in appropriate juxtaposition the const.i.tuent components of said clock, .50

To lubricating with oleaginous solution the apex of pinions of said clock, .50

To adjusting horologically the isochronal mechanism of said clock, .50

To equalizing the acoustic resultant of escape wheel percussion upon the verge pallets of said clock, .50

To adjusting the distance between the centre of gravity of the pendulum and its point of suspension, so that the vibrations of the pendulum shall cause the index hand to indicate approximately the daily arrival of the sun at its meridian height, .50 ----- $3.00

_Lilly's Predictions._

While Lilly is ridiculed for his absurdities, let him have credit for as lucky a guess as ever blessed the pages even of "Francis Moore, Physician." In Lilly's "Astrological Predictions for 1648," there occurs the following pa.s.sage, in which we must allow that he attained to "something like prophetic strain," when we call to mind that the Great Plague of London occurred in 1665, and the Great Fire in the year following:-

"In the year 1656, the aphelium of Mars, who is the general signification of England, will be in Virgo, which is a.s.suredly the ascendant of the English monarchy, but Aries of the kingdom. When this absis, therefore, of Mars shall appear in Virgo, who shall expect less than a strange _catastrophe_ of human affairs in the commonwealth, monarchy and kingdom of England? There will then, either in or about these times, or within ten years, more or less, of that time, appear in this kingdom so strange a revolution of fate, so _grand a catastrophe_, and great mutation unto this monarchy and government as never yet appeared; of which, as the times now stand, I have no liberty or encouragement to deliver any opinion. _Only, it will be ominous to London, unto her merchants at sea, to her traffique at land, to her poor, to her rich, to all sorts of people inhabiting in her or her liberties_, BY REASON OF SUNDRY FIRES AND A PLAGUE."

This is the prediction which, in 1666, led to Lilly's being examined by a committee of the House of Commons; not, as has been supposed, that he might "discover by the stars who were the authors of the Fire of London," but because the precision with which he was thought to have foretold the events gave birth to a suspicion that he was already acquainted with them, and privy to the (supposed) machinations which had brought about the catastrophe. Curran says there are two kinds of prophets-those who are really inspired and those who prophecy events which they themselves intend to bring about. Upon this occasion poor Lilly had the ill-luck to be deemed of the latter cla.s.s.

_Puritan Surnames._

The following names are given in Lower's English Surnames, as specimens of the names of the old Puritans in England about the year 1658. They are taken from a jury list in Suss.e.x county:-

Faint-not Hewett.

Redeemed Compton.

G.o.d-reward Smart.