Jokes Book Collection Part Ii Part 73

4. The answer is Charcoal. In Homer Simpson's words: "hmmmm...Barbecue."

5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.

Politician jokes.

Q: What's the similarity between a Politician and Footballer?

A: Both dribble when they try to score.

Q: What happened to the Politician that put odour eaters in his shoes?

A: He vanished.

Q: What have Politician's and hot air balloon got in common?

A: They're both full of hot air.

Q: How do you know when a politician is telling the truth?

A: h.e.l.l freezes over!

Q: How can you tell when a Politician has called to see you?

A: There is slim on the doorbell.

Ess.e.x man Jokes

Q: What is Ess.e.x Man's idea of foreplay?

A: You awake Sharon?

Q: What is an Ess.e.x Man's idea of a serious commitment?

A: Ok, I'll stay the night.

Q: Why does an Ess.e.x Men wear yellow s.h.i.+rts?

A: To match their teeth.

Q: What won't an Ess.e.x man stand for?

A: A woman on a bus.

Q: How do two psychiatrists greet each other?

A: Hi you seem fine, how am I?

Q: When can a woman change an Ess.e.x Man?

A: When he's a baby.

Q: What have a Pig and a politician got in common?

A: They've both got their snouts in the trough.

Q: Why did the actor fall through the floor?

A: It was a stage he was going through

Q: What did the bow legged doe say?

A: That's the last time I do anything for ten bucks.

Q: What's the difference between a husband and a prisoner?

A: One is complains behind bars and the other complains at them.

Ess.e.x Girl Jokes.

Q: What is the difference between Surrey girls and Ess.e.x girls?

A: Surrey girls have real jewellery and fake o.r.g.a.s.ms.

Q: What is the difference between Ess.e.x girl and a sheaf of corn?

A: A sheaf of corn has more between the ears.

Q: How many Mates does an Ess.e.x girl have?

A: Depends on how many packets she bought.

Q: What's an Ess.e.x girl's idea of hard work?

A: b.u.t.ton flies.

Q: Why don't Ess.e.x Girls wear lip balm?

A: They don't mind getting a chap on their lips.

Q: How does an Ess.e.x girl tell the difference between margarine and b.u.t.ter?

A: She asks someone to read the packet for her.

Q: What does an Ess.e.x girl do with men who gatecrash her party?

A: Throws them out in the morning.

Q: How does an Ess.e.x girl get rid of unwanted pubic hair?

A: Spits it out.

Q: What is an Ess.e.x girl's favourite c.o.c.ktail?

A: A Sloe Comfortable Screw Against the Wall.

Q: What is the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and the Grand old Duke of York?

A: The Grand Old Duke of York only had 10,000 men.

Q: What is an Ess.e.x girl's nightmare holiday?

A: Two weeks on the island of Lesbos.

Q: What's the similarity between Ess.e.x girl and a carpenter?

A: Both have a box full of saws.

Q: What's an Ess.e.x girl's idea of an obstacle course?

A: Sh.e.l.l suit trousers.

Q: What happened to the Ess.e.x girl who became an Avon lady?

A: Max Factor.

Q: What does an Ess.e.x girl use for protection during s.e.x?

A: A bus shelter.