The Works of Aphra Behn Volume I Part 61

_Feth._ To fight away a couple of such hopeful Monsters, and two Millions-- 'owns, was ever Valour so improvident?

_Blunt._ Your fighting made me mistake: for who the Pox wou'd have look'd for _Nicholas Fetherfool_ in the person of a Hero?

_Feth._ Fight, 'Sbud, a Million of Money wou'd have provok'd a Bully; besides, I took you for the d.a.m.n'd Rogue my Rival.

_Blunt._ Just as I had finish'd my Serenade, and had put up my Pipes to be gone, out stalk'd me your two-handed Lady, with a Man at her Girdle like a bunch of Keys, whom I taking for nothing less than some one who had some foul design upon the Gentlewoman, like a true Knight-Errant, did my best to rescue her.

_Feth._ Yes, yes, I feel you did, a Pox of your heavy hand.

_Blunt._ So whilst we two were lovingly cuffing each other, comes the Rival, I suppose, and carries off the Prize.

_Feth._ Who must be Seignior _Lucifer_ himself, he cou'd never have vanisht with that Celerity else with such a Carriage-- But come, all we have to do is to raise the Mountebank and the Guardian, pursue the Rogues, have 'em hang'd by Law, for a Rape, and Theft, and then we stand fair again.

_Blunt._ Faith, you may, if you please, but Fortune has provided otherwise for me.

[Aside.

[Ex. _Blu._ and _Feth._

Enter _Beaumond_ and _Ariadne_.

_Beau._ Sure none lives here, or Thieves are broken in, the Doors are all left open.

_Aria._ Pray Heaven this Stranger prove but honest now. [Aside.

_Beau._ Now, my dear Creature, every thing conspires to make us happy, let us not defer it.

_Aria._ Hold, dear Captain, I yield but on Conditions, which are these-- I give you up a Maid of Youth and Beauty, ten thousand Pound in ready Jewels here-- three times the value in Estate to come, of which here be the Writings, you delivering me a handsom proper fellow, Heart-whole and sound, that's all-- your Name I ask not till the Priest declare it, who is to seal the Bargain. I cannot deceive, for I let you know I am Daughter-in-law to the _English_ Amba.s.sador.

_Beau._ _Ariadne!_-- How vain is all Man's Industry and Care To make himself accomplish'd; When the gay fluttering Fool, or the half-witted rough unmanner'd Brute, Who in plain terms comes right down to the business, Out-rivals him in all his Love and Fortunes. [Aside.

_Aria._ Methinks you cool upon't, Captain.

_Beau._ Yes, _Ariadne_.

_Aria._ _Beaumond!_

_Beau._ Oh what a World of Time have I mispent for want of being a Blockhead-- 'Sdeath and h.e.l.l, Wou'd I had been some brawny ruffling Fool, Some forward impudent unthinking Sloven, A Woman's Tool; for all besides unmanageable.

Come, swear that all this while you thought 'twas I.

The Devil has taught ye Tricks to bring your Falshood off.

_Aria._ Know 'twas you! no, Faith, I took you for as errant a right-down Captain as ever Woman wisht for; and 'twas uncivil egad, to undeceive me, I tell you that now.

Enter _Willmore_ and _La Nuche_ by dark.

_Will._ Thou art all Charms, a Heaven of Sweets all over, plump smooth round Limbs, small rising b.r.e.a.s.t.s, a Bosom soft and panting-- I long to wound each Sense. Lights there-- who waits?-- there yet remains a Pleasure unpossest, the sight of that dear Face-- Lights there-- where are my Vermin?

[Ex. _Will._

_Aria._ My Captain with a Woman-- and is it so--

Enter _Will._ with Lights, sees _Aria_, and goes to her.

_Will._ By Heaven, a glorious Beauty! now a Blessing on thee for shewing me so dear a Face-- Come, Child, let's retire and begin where we left off.

_La Nu._ A Woman!

_Aria._ Where we left off! pray, where was that, good Captain?

_Will._ Within upon the Bed, Child-- come-- I'll show thee.

_Beau._ Hold, Sir.

_Will._ _Beaumond_! come fit to celebrate my Happiness; ah such a Woman-friend!

_Beau._ Do ye know her?

_Will._ All o'er, to be the softest sweetest Creature--

_Beau._ I mean, do ye know who she is?

_Will._ Nor care; 'tis the last Question I ever ask a fine Woman.

_Beau._ And you are sure you are thus well acquainted.

_Will._ I cannot boast of much acquaintance-- but I have pluckt a Rose from her Bosom-- or so-- and given it her again-- we've past the hour of the Berjere together, that's all--

_Beau._ And do you know-- this Lady is my-- Wife?

[Draw.

_Will._ Hah! hum, hum, hum, hum-- [Turns and sings, sees _La Nuche_, and returns quick with an uneasy Grimace.

_Beau._ Did you not hear me? Draw.

_Will._ Draw, Sir-- what on my Friend?

_Beau._ On your Cuckold, Sir, for so you've doubly made me: Draw, or I'll kill thee-- [Pa.s.ses at him, he fences with his Hat, _La Nu._ holds Beau.

_Will._ Hold, prithee hold.

_La Nu._ Put up your Sword, this Lady's innocent, at least in what concerns this Evening's business; I own-- with Pride I own I am the Woman that pleas'd so well to Night.

_Will._ _La Nuche_! kind Soul to bring me off with so handsom a lye: How lucky 'twas she happen'd to be here!

_Beau._ False as thou art, why shou'd I credit thee?

_La Nu._ By Heaven, 'tis true, I will not lose the glory on't.

_Will._ Oh the dear perjur'd Creature, how I love thee for this dear lying Virtue-- Harkye, Child, hast thou nothing to say for thy self, to help us out withal?-- [To _Aria._ aside.

_Aria._ I! I renounce ye-- false Man.