Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls Part 28

"Oh."

"You're a jacka.s.s." I turn my back on him and pick up my menu. Which I've already ordered off of but he doesn't know that. Right now I need props.

"Matt!" Rosie hollers from her counter stool into the kitchen. "Get out here. You're missing the good stuff."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Matt hustle out, wiping his hands on his ap.r.o.n.

"Wait." Sam takes the menu away from me.

He throws me his most charming grin. The one he uses to get girls to fall all over him. That only reminds me that I've now been relegated to that stupid status.

I got hot and itchy with rage.

Sam's brows crease in confusion for a second but he hangs on to that "let's try this again shall we" grin that I want to smack off of him.

He pushes the alb.u.m toward me.

"You're the one person that knows everything about me. The only meaningful relations.h.i.+p I've ever had."

I stare at him stonily. "Guess you need more friends."

Ian laughs but quickly turns it into a cough under Rachel's smack to his arm.

"Nice one, girlie," Vic chuckles.

Sam narrows his gaze at me.

I know that look. He's cranky.

Good.

"Don't play dense with me," he fires back. "Seventeen years. Every memory worth having has been with you. And we're only getting started."

"That sounded ominous." Matt sounds worried.

"Is this where I'm supposed to fall over myself in delight?" I ask.

Sam taps his foot in a nervous twitch, which means he's angry and stressed out.

I find I like that.

"You could at least act like it means something," he tells me.

"It does. You suck."

"Yeah," Vic agrees. "You're acting like an a.s.shole, son."

"A royal one," Ian concurs.

"Ally deserves better." This from Matt.

I'm feeling warm and happy at everyone being on my side.

Sam turns so he can glare at all of them at once. "Maybe if you would all back the h.e.l.l out of my personal business-"

"Manners," Rosie chides him.

Sam runs his hands through his hair roughly. "If you would back the h.e.l.l out, please," he corrects, "I could tell Ally I love her."

My heart pounds in my chest and my stomach twists up. Please don't let this be a joke.

"You love me?"

"What do you think this is all about? Pay attention, Brain."

He takes my hand and looks at me with the most serious expression I've ever seen on his face. "I love you totally and absolutely like I've never loved anyone before."

"You just said you didn't," Rachel points out.

Sam lifts his head to stare at her like he might kill her. "What?"

"You said you thought she was running away to Ecuador because you didn't love her. I'm a little confused. Explain it."

Have I mentioned how much I love my cousin?

I nod at that statement as if it's the most logical explanation in the world to require and don't even feel a tiny bit bad that I'm making Sam work for it.

I am worth working for.

But I secretly cross my fingers that this doesn't go horribly wrong.

"No," Sam says in a strained tone, "Ally thought I didn't and that's why she was going to Ecuador. But she isn't and I do. Love you." That last bit is said to me.

I want to beam.

But first there's something I have to ask.

"Why?"

Chapter thirty-five.

I hate that f.u.c.king question. I mean I just told you I love you, which you of all people know I have never done, and that's your response?

Buzzzz. Thanks for playing.

I could refuse to answer.

Except that means Ally wouldn't answer me back. Not like she has to because I already know she loves me. But a little public adoration in this hostile place would be appreciated. Plus I have to make sure she's not going to leave.

So she has to say it. Again.

And given she's wearing her stubborn face, that means I have to answer the d.a.m.n question.

Under everyone's curious stare.

"Because..." A strong start designed to buy me time. Got it. I gesture at the photo alb.u.m.

Ally shakes her head. "Nope. That's the past. Tell me why."

I shove my hand roughly through my hair. Panic grows.

"Because I love f.u.c.king you," I blurt out.

"Ah, h.e.l.l," Ian mutters.

I see Matt hang his head in despair.

Ally picks up her purse, stands, and takes a few steps out of the booth toward the exit. I block her.

"No. I mean yes. I've never been so turned on by anyone and I love having s.e.x with you. I love that you're ticklish in the most inconvenient places. And that you talk the entire time."

"TMI," Rachel insists.

I pay her no attention, instead glancing at Ally to make sure she's still with me.

It's debatable, but she's not moving, so I speed up.

"But more than that, I love that afterward, you stuff yourself into me trying to suck out all my heat. That you get all fanboy about the geekiest things and cry for great whites during shark week. You're the left brain to my right. The jelly to my peanut b.u.t.ter."

"The Buffy to your Angel?" Ally asks.

No way am I that namby b.i.t.c.h. "Spike."

"Angel."

I concede it with a grudging nod. "You're bossy, complicated, pa.s.sionate, and I think you're the most amazing girl alive."

Having just gushed like chicks in a tampon commercial, I feel I need to get this speech back on a more manly track. "So deal with it."

There. b.a.l.l.s back.

Rosie smacks Ally. "What's wrong with you? Love him."

People nod and murmur their agreement.

About time I got this crowd on my side. Tough room.

"Big jerk," Ally says.

She smiles.

Everyone else looks confused. It doesn't matter. I get it and grin back.

"The biggest. And?"

"You're my parrot," she tells me.

I relax for the first time. I. Am. Her. Parrot. Who's the man, now?

"I don't get it." Vic scratches his head. "Does she love him?"

Ally slides her arms around my waist and beams up at me. "Yeah. I love him."

"And you're staying, right?" I ask anxiously. Because it would suck if she's going to love me from another continent.

"I'm staying."

"What about seeing if we're biologically wired to be monogamous or not?" Rachel asks.

I shoot her a look. "Seriously? Can we not just be happy with the in love and stop with the poking holes?"

"Just checking," she says innocently. I see her wink at Ian.

I'll kill them later.

But for now, to make sure Ally has no doubts about where I stand, I say, "We're not just one thing or another. We're constantly evolving. And as long as it's in a way that makes us happy, that's all that matters. Right?"

"Right." Ally squeezes me.

"Good answer," Ian declares.

"He's evolved," Rachel announces.

"Evolving is a process not a destination," I say, c.o.c.ky.

Ally grins at me with pride. I kiss her and receive several hollers.

"An eight from the Russians," Matt calls out.

"Those Russians are tough," Rosie says.

I break the kiss.