The Works of Lord Byron: Letters and Journals Volume II Part 108

"I see, men's judgements are a parcel of their fortunes."

'Antony and Cleopatra', act iii. sc. II, line 32.]

[Footnote 3:

"Expende Hannibalem: quot libras in duce summo Invenies?"

Juvenal, 'Sat'. x. 147.

"Produce the urn that Hannibal contains, And weigh the mighty dust which yet remains: 'And is this all?'"

Gifford's 'Juvenal' (ed. 1802), vol. ii. pp. 338, 339.]

[Footnote 4:

"In the Statistical Account of Scotland, I find that Sir John Paterson had the curiosity to collect, and weigh, the ashes of a person discovered a few years since in the parish of Eccles. Wonderful to relate, he found the whole did not exceed in weight one ounce and a half! 'And is this all'!"

Gifford's 'Juvenal, ut supra'.]

[Footnote 5: 'Hamlet', act iii. sc. 2.]

[Footnote 6: 'Macbeth', act v. sc. 3,

"Doctor, the thanes fly from me!"]

April 10.

I do not know that I am happiest when alone; but this I am sure of, that I never am long in the society even of _her_ I love, (G.o.d knows too well, and the devil probably too,) without a yearning for the company of my lamp and my utterly confused and tumbled-over library. Even in the day, I send away my carriage oftener than I use or abuse it. _Per esempio_,--I have not stirred out of these rooms for these four days past: but I have sparred for exercise (windows open) with Jackson an hour daily, to attenuate and keep up the ethereal part of me. The more violent the fatigue, the better my spirits for the rest of the day; and then, my evenings have that calm nothingness of languor, which I most delight in. To-day I have boxed an hour--written an ode to Napoleon Buonaparte--copied it--eaten six biscuits--drunk four bottles of soda water [1]--redde away the rest of my time--besides giving poor [?

Webster] a world of advice about this mistress of his, who is plaguing him into a phthisic and intolerable tediousness. I am a pretty fellow truly to lecture about "the sect." No matter, my counsels are all thrown away.

[Footnote 1: The following is one of Byron's bills for soda water:

Lord Byron to R. s.h.i.+pwash, 27 St. Albans St.

1814-- s. d.

4 Octr. 2 Doz. Soda Water 11 0 7 " 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 13 " 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 20 " 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 25 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 30 " 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 9 Decr. 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 14 " 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 17 " 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 22 " 2 Doz. do. do. 11 0 6 1 0 [overstrike 1 7 6]

[overstrike 4 13 6]

25th Decr. 1814 Recd. R. s.h.i.+pwash.

April 19, 1814.

There is ice at both poles, north and south--all extremes are the same--misery belongs to the highest and the lowest only, to the emperor and the beggar, when unsixpenced and unthroned. There is, to be sure, a d.a.m.ned insipid medium--an equinoctial line--no one knows where, except upon maps and measurement.

"And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death." [1]

I will keep no further journal of that same hesternal torch-light; and, to prevent me from returning, like a dog, to the vomit of memory, I tear out the remaining leaves of this volume, and write, in _Ipecacuanha_, --"that the Bourbons are restored!!!"--"Hang up philosophy." [2] To be sure, I have long despised myself and man, but I never spat in the face of my species before--"O fool! I shall go mad." [3]

[Footnote 1: 'Macbeth', act v. sc. 5, line 22.]

[Footnote 2: 'Romeo and Juliet', act iii. sc. 3.]

[Footnote 3: 'King Lear', act ii. sc. 4.]

APPENDIX I.