Advice to a Mother on the Management of Her Children Part 16

182. _At what age do you advise my child to begin his course of education--to have his regular lessons_?

In the name of the prophet,--Figs! Fiddlesticks! about courses of education and regular lessons for a child! You may as well ask me when he, a child, is to begin Hebrew, the Sanscrit, and Mathematics!

Let him have a course of education in play; let him go through regular lessons in foot-ball, bandy, playing at tic, hares and hounds, and such like excellent and really useful and health-giving lessons. Begin his lessons! Begin brain work, and make an idiot of him! Oh! for shame, ye mothers! You who pretend to love your children so much, and to tax, otherwise to injure, irreparably to injure their brains, and thus their intellects and their health, and to shorten their very days. And all for what? To make prodigies of them! Forsooth! to make fools of them in the end,

183. _Well, then, as you have such a great objection to a child commencing his education early in life, at what age may he, with safety, commence his lessons? and which do you prefer--home or school education_?

Home is far preferable to a school education. He is, if at home, under your own _immediate_ observation, and is not liable to be contaminated by naughty children; for, in every school, there is necessarily a great mixture of the good and of the bad; and a child, unfortunately, is more likely to be led by the bad than by the good. Moreover, if he be educated at home, the mother can see that his brain is not over-worked. At school the brain is apt to be over-worked, and the stomach and the muscles to be under-worked.

Remember, as above stated, _the brain must have but very little work until the child be seven years old;_ impress this advice upon your memory, and let no foolish ambition to make your child a clever child allow you, for one moment, to swerve from this advice.

Build up a strong, healthy body, and in due time the brain will bear a _moderate_ amount of intellectual labour.

As I have given _you_ so much advice, permit me, for one moment, to address a word to the father of your child:--

Let me advise you, then, Mr. _Pater familias_, to be careful how you converse, what language you use, while in the company of your child. Bear in mind, a child is very observant, and thinks much, weighs well, and seldom forgets all you say and all you do! Let no hasty word, then, and more especially no oath, or no impious language, ever pa.s.s your lips, if your child be within hearing. It is, of course, at all times wicked to swear; but it is heinously and unpardonably sinful to swear in the presence of your child! "Childhood is like a mirror, catching and reflecting images. One impious or profane thought, uttered by a parent's lip, may operate upon the young heart like a careless spray of water thrown upon polished steel, staining it with rust, which no after scouring can efface."

Never talk secrete before a child--"little pitchers have long ears;"

if you do, and he disclose your secrets--as most likely he will--and thus make mischief, it will be cruel to scold him; you will, for your imprudence, have yourself only to blame. Be most careful, then, in the presence of your child, of what you say, and of whom you speak. This advice, if followed, might save a great deal of annoyance and vexation.

184. _Are you an advocate for a child being taught singing?_

I am: I consider singing a part of his education. Singing expands the walls of his chest, strengthens and invigorates his lungs, gives sweetness to his voice, improves his p.r.o.nunciation, and is a great pleasure and amus.e.m.e.nt to him.

SLEEP.

185. _Do you approve of a child sleeping on a_ FEATHER _bed_?

A _feather_ bed enervates his body, and, if he be so predisposed, causes rickets, and makes him crooked. A horse-hair mattress is the best for a child to lie on. The pillow, too, should be made of horse-hair. A _feather_ pillow often causes the bead to be bathed in perspiration, thus enervating the child, and making him liable to catch cold. If he be at all rickety, if he be weak in the neck, if he be inclined to stoop, or if he be at all crooked, let him, by all means, lie without a pillow.

186. _Do you recommend a child, in the middle of the day, to be put to sleep_?

Let him be put on his mattress _awake_, that he may sleep for a couple of hours before dinner, then he will rise both refreshed and strengthened for the remainder of the day. I said, let him be put down _awake_. He might, for the first few times, cry, but, by perseverance, he will without any difficulty fall to sleep. The practice of sleeping before dinner ought to be continued until he be three years old, and, if he can be prevailed upon, even longer. For if he do not have sleep in the middle of the day, he will all the afternoon and the evening be cross; and when he does go to bed, he will probably be too tired to sleep, or his nerves having been exhausted by the long wakefulness, he will fall into a troubled, broken slumber, and not into that sweet, soft, gentle repose, so characteristic of healthy, happy childhood!

187. _At what hour ought a child to be put to bed in the evening_?

At six in the winter, and at seven o'clock in the summer. _Regularity_ ought to be observed, _as regularity is very conducive to health._ It is a reprehensible practice to keep a child up until nine or ten o'clock at night. If this be done, he will, before his time, become old, and the seeds of disease will be sown,

As soon as he can run, let him be encouraged, for half an hour before he goes to bed, to race either about the hall, or the landing, or a large room, which will be the best means of warming his feet, of preventing chilblains, and of making him sleep soundly.

188. _Have you any directions to give me at to the placing of my child in his bed_?

If a child lie alone, place him fairly on his aide in the middle of the bed; if it be winter time, see that his arms and hands be covered with the bed-clothes; if it be summer, his hands might be allowed to be outside the clothes. In putting him down to sleep, you should ascertain that his face be not covered with the bedclothes; if it be, he will he poisoned with his own breath--the breath constantly giving off carbonic acid gas; which gas must, if his face be smothered in the clothes; be breathed--carbonic acid gas being highly poisonous.

You can readily prove the existence of carbonic and gas in the breathing, by simply breathing into a little lime-water; after breathing for a few seconds into it, a white film will form on the top; the carbonic acid gas from the breath unites with the lime of the lime-water and the product of the white film is carbonate of lime.

189. _Do you advise a bedroom to be darkened at night_?

Certainly: a child sleeps sounder and sweeter in a dark than in a light room. There is nothing better for the purpose of darkening a bedroom, than Venetian blinds. Remember, then, a well-ventilated, but a darkened, chamber at night. The cot or the crib ought _not_ to face the window, "as the light is best behind." [Footnote: Sir Charles Loc.o.c.k in a Letter to the Author. ]

190. _Which is the beat position for a child when sleeping--on his back, or on his side_?

His side: he ought to be accustomed to change about on the right side one night, on the left another; and occasionally, for a change, he should lie on his back. By adopting this plan, you will not only improve his figure, but likewise his health. Lying, night after night, in one position, would be likely to make him crooked.

191. _Do you advise, in the winter time, that there should be a fire in the night nursery_?

Certainly not, unless the weather be intensely cold. I dislike fires in bedrooms, especially for children; they are very enervating, and make a child liable to catch cold. Cold weather is very bracing, particularly at night "Generally speaking," says the _Siecle_, "during winter, apartments are too much heated. The temperature in them ought not to exceed 16 deg. Centigrade (59 deg. Fahrenheit); and even in periods of great cold scientific men declare that 12 deg. or 14 deg. had better not be exceeded. In the wards of hospitals, and in the chambers of the sick, care is taken not to have greater heat than 15 deg.. Clerks in offices, and other persons of sedentary occupations, when rooms in which they sit are too much heated, are liable to cerebral [brain] congestion and to pulmonary [lung] complaints. In bedrooms, and particularly those of children, the temperature ought to be maintained rather low; it is even prudent only rarely to make fires in them, especially during the night"

If "a cold stable make a healthy horse," I am quite sure that a moderately cold and well-ventilated bedroom helps to make a healthy child. But, still, in the winter time, if the weather be biting cold, a _little_ fire in the bedroom grate is desirable. In bringing up children, we must never run into extremes--the coddling system and the hardening system are both to be deprecated; the coddling system will make the strong child weakly, while the hardening system will probably kill a delicate one.

A child's bed ought, of course, to be comfortably clothed with blankets--I say blankets, as they are much superior to coverlids; the perspiration will more readily pa.s.s through a blanket than a coverlid. A _thick_ coverlid ought never to be used; there is nothing better, for a child's bed, than the old-fas.h.i.+oned patchwork coverlid, as the perspiration will easily escape through it.

192. _Should a child be washed and dressed_ AS SOON AS HE AWAKE _in the morning_?

He ought, if he awake in anything like reasonable time; for if he doze after he be once awake, such slumber does him more harm than good. He should be up every morning as soon as it is light If, as a child, he be taught to rise early, it will make him an early riser for life, and will tend greatly to prolong both his existence and his happiness.

_Never awake a child from his sleep_ to dress him, to give him medicine, or for any other purpose; _let him always sleep as long as he can;_ but the moment he awakes let him be held out, and then let him be washed and dressed, and do not wait, as many a silly nurse does, until he have wet his bed, until his blood be chilled, and until he be cross, miserable, and uncomfortable! How many babes are made ill by such foolish practices!

The moment he leaves his bed, turn back to the fullest extent the clothes, in order that they may be thoroughly ventilated and sweetened. They ought to be exposed to the air for at least an hour before the bed be made. As soon as he leaves his room, be it winter or summer, throw open the windows.

193. _Ought a child to lie alone_?

He should, after he is weaned. He will rest more comfortably, and his sleep will be more refres.h.i.+ng.

194. _Supposing a child should not sleep well, what ought to be done?

Would you give him a dose of composing medicine_?

Certainly not. Try the effects of exercise. Exercise in the open air is the best composing medicine in the world. Let the little fellow be well tired out, and there will be little fear of his not sleeping.

195. _Have you any further observations to make on the subject of sleep_?

Send a child joyful to bed. Do not, if you can possibly help it, let him go to bed crying. Let the last impressions he has at night be of his happy home, and of his loving father and mother and let his last thoughts be those of joy and gladness. He will sleep all the sounder if he be sent to bed in such a frame of mind, and he will be more refreshed and nourished in the morning by his sleep.

196. _What are the usual causes of a child walking in his sleep, and what measures during such times, ought to be adopted to prevent his injuring himself_?

A disordered stomach, in a child of nervous temperament, or worms, are usually the causes. The means to be adopted to prevent his throwing himself out of the window, are to have bars to his chamber present, and if that be not practicable, to have either nails or screws driven into the window sash to allow the window to open only for a sufficient s.p.a.ce for ventilation, and to have a screw window fastening, in order that he cannot, without difficulty, open the window, to have a trusty person to sleep in his room, who should have directions given not to rouse him from his sleep, but to gently lead him back to his bed, which may frequently be done without awaking him, and to consult a medical man, who will adopt means to destroy the worms, to put his stomach into order, to brace his nerves, and to strengthen his general system. A trip to the coast and sea bathing, in such a case, is often of great service.

SECOND DENt.i.tION.

197. _When does a child commence to cut his SECOND set of teeth_?

Generally at seven years old. He _begins to cut_ them at about that time: but it should be borne in mind (so wonderful are the works of G.o.d) that the _second_ crop of teeth, _in embryo_, is actually bred and formed from the very commencement of his life, _under_ the first tier of teeth, but which remain in abeyance for years, and do not come into play until the _first_ teeth, having done their duty, loosen and fall out, and thus make room for the more numerous, larger, stronger, and more permanent teeth, which latter have to last for the remainder of his existence. The _first_ set is sometimes cut with a great deal of difficulty, and produces various diseases; the _second_, or permanent teeth, come easily, and are unaccompanied with any disorder.

The following is the process:--One after another of the _first_ set gradually loosen, and either drop out, or with little pain are readily pulled out; under these, the _second_--the permanent--teeth make their appearance, and fill up the vacant s.p.a.ces. The fang of the tooth that has dropped out is nearly all absorbed or eaten away, leaving little more than the crown. The _first_ set consists of twenty; the _second_ (including the wise-teeth, which are not, generally cut until after the the age of twenty-seven) consists of thirty-two.

I would recommend you to pay particular attention to the teeth of your children; for, besides their being ornamental, their regularity and soundness are of great importance to the present as well as to the future health of your offspring. If there be any irregularity in the appearance of the _second_ set, lose no time in consulting an experienced and respectable dentist.