The Dreamer Part 8
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He listened and listened to the silence. Surely if she should speak, even from down under the ground he could hear her across this silence which was as a void--a black and terrible void.
His first pilgrimages were by moonlight, but when the moonless nights came he continued his vigils. He would have known the way by that time with his eyes shut.
Sometimes he was afraid--horribly afraid. He seemed, in the shadows, to descry weird phantom-shapes, moving stealthily; in the silence to hear ghostly whispers; sometimes he fancied he heard _the silence itself_!
But in the very fear that clutched his throat there was a fascination--a lure--that made it impossible to turn back.
His sorrow was exquisite; his terror was exquisite; his loneliness was oh, how exquisite! Yet in courting them all, here in the dead of night, p.r.o.ne on her grave, he found the only balm he knew--the only sympathy; for to his fancy the dark and the quiet had always seemed sentient things and he felt that they gave him a sympathy he did not--could not ask of people.
A breathless night in July found him at the familiar tryst at an earlier hour than was his wont. He lay upon the gra.s.s at her feet with his hands clasped under his head and his face turned up to the stars. There was moonlight as well as starlight, and in its silvery radiance his features, always pale, had the frigid whiteness of marble. The wide-open eyes that stared upward to the stars, were larger, darker than in daylight, and more full of brooding; the white brow, with its crown of dark ringlets was whiter and more expansive.
In a dormer-windowed cottage overlooking a rose garden, on Clay Street, an erect gentleman in an uncompromising stock and immaculate ruffles, with narrow blue eyes under a beetling brow, and a somewhat hawk-like nose, sharply questioned a fair and graceful lady, with an anxious expression on her flower-face, as to why "that boy" did not come home to his supper. But they were used by now, to the boy's strange, wayward whims, and so did not marvel much. Only--they had not seen him since the feat that had set the town ringing with his name and it seemed to them that it would have been natural for him to come home in the flush of his triumph and tell them about it.
Edgar Poe had that day created the sensation of the hour by swimming from the Richmond wharves to Warwick--a distance of six miles--in the midsummer sun.
Richmond was a fair and pleasant little city in those days, in spite of the fact that our boy-poet found in it so much to make him melancholy.
"The merriest place in America," Thackeray called it some years later, and would probably have said the same of it then had he been there. The blight of Civil War had not touched the cheerful temper of its people; the tenement row had not crowded out gra.s.s and flowers. It was more a large village than a town, with gracious homes--not elbowing each other for foundation room, but standing comfortably apart, amid their green lawns, and with wide verandahs overhanging their many-flowered gardens.
"After tea," on warm nights, the houses overflowed into these verandahs, and there was much visiting from one to another--much light-hearted talk and happy laughter; the popular theme being whatever happened to be "the news."
It was the day of contentment, for wants were moderate and plentifully supplied; the day of satisfaction in wholesome domestic joys; the day of hospitality without grudging; the day when sweetness extracted from little pleasures did not need spicing, for palates were not jaded; the day of the ideal simple life.
Upon this night, as on other nights, young girls who were not yet "gone to the springs" floated along the fas.h.i.+onable promenades, in airy muslins, with their cavaliers beside them. Groups of gentlemen and ladies sat on the porches and children played hide-and-seek, chased fire-flies, or sat on the steps and listened to the talk of their elders. And everywhere, in all of the groups, the chief topic was the boy, Edgar Poe, and his wonderful swim.
And the boy who had in an afternoon become, for the time being at least, the foremost figure in town, knew it, but did not care.
To lie alone on the gra.s.s by the grave of his dead divinity and gaze at the far stars, and brood upon his young sorrows--this gave him more satisfaction than to be the central figure of any one of the groups singing his praise; filled him with a romantic despair that to his high-strung soul had a more delicately sweet flavor than positive pleasure.
As to the erect gentleman in the high stock and the pretty lady with the tender, anxious face--they had, for the present, no part in his thoughts. It was wrong and ungrateful of him that they should not have, and if he had remembered them he would have known that it was wrong and ungrateful; but he would not have cared. And as for his food--he had supped royally, and without compunction, upon the fruit of an inviting orchard to which he had helped himself, unblus.h.i.+ngly, upon his way into town.
A reckless mood, born of the restlessness that was in his blood, was upon him.
The truth was, that poignant as was his pleasure in dwelling upon his poetical sorrow for the adored "Helen"--his "lost Lenore"--it did not fully satisfy him. His youthful heart was hungry for response to his out-poured sentiment, for the more robust diet of mutual love. In plain English, Edgar Poe wanted, and wanted badly, a sweetheart, though he did not suspect it.
When, finally, he scaled the cemetery wall and took his way homeward he did not go directly to the dormer-windowed cottage where the erect gentleman and the pretty lady awaited him. Just as he was approaching it he heard Elmira Royster's guitar in the porch opposite, and he crossed the street and entered the Royster's gate.
The Roysters and Allans had been neighbors for years and he and Elmira had been "brought up together." At the sound of approaching footsteps the guitar grew suddenly silent and a slight, rather colorless girl in a white dress, with a white flower in her fluffy blonde hair, came from out the shadow of the microphilla rose that embowered the porch and stood in the full light of the moon, giving him greeting.
"Oh, I'm so glad to see you, Eddie," she said. "All of the family but me have gone to a party, and I'm so lonesome! Besides, I, like everybody else in town, want a chance to congratulate you."
"Congratulate?" he replied, with a shrug, as he took a seat beside her, under the roses, "Congratulate? In their hearts they all despise me."
Then with a smile,
"You see the blue devils have the upper hand of me tonight, Myra."
"Well, they are fibbing devils if they tell you you are despised. d.i.c.k Ambler was over at your house looking for you a little while ago, and he stopped by and told me about your swim. He said he and the other boys that followed you in the boat had never seen anything so exciting in their lives. They were expecting you to give out any minute and so much afraid that if you did you would go under before they could get hold of you. When you won the wager they were so proud and happy that they were almost beside themselves."
"Oh, I know d.i.c.k and the rest are the best and truest friends a fellow ever had--bless their hearts--but they are the exceptions."
"Nonsense! There's not a boy in town tonight who would not give his head to be in your shoes, and" (shyly) "the girls are all wild about you."
The hero smiled indulgently. No woman was ever thrown with Edgar Poe, from his birth up, but in some fas.h.i.+on or degree, loved him, and to him all women were angels. He never, as boy or man, entertained a thought or wrote a line of one of them that was not reverent. He admired, in varying degree, all types of feminine loveliness, but Myra, though he liked her, was not the style that he most cared for. He had always thought her too "washed out." The soul that shone through her rather prominent, light-blue eyes was too transparent, too easily read. He found more interesting the richer-hued brunette type, and the complex nature that goes with it; the flashes of starlight, the softness and the warmth, of brown eyes; the mysteries that lie in the shadow of dusky lashes; the variety of rich, warm tones in chestnut and auburn tresses.
But Myra was a revelation to him tonight. He had never dreamed that she could look so pretty--_so very pretty_--as she did now in her white dress, with the moonlight filtering through the foliage upon her fair hair and her face (turned full of liking and undisguised admiration upon him) and her lovely arms, bared to the elbow. She had an ethereal, fairy-like appearance that was bewitching, and in his despondent mood, her frank praise was more than sweet. Still his answer was as bitter as ever,
"Oh, well, what does it all amount to? They would say the same of any acrobat in a circus whose joints were a bit more limber than those of the rest of his tribe. That does not remove their contempt for me, personally."
"I don't feel contempt for you, Eddie," she gently replied--just breathing it.
(Myra was really wonderful tonight. He had not known her voice could have so much color in it; and the white flower in her hair--a cape-jessamine, its excessively sweet fragrance told him--gave her pale beauty the touch of romance it had always lacked). The poetic eyes that looked into hers mellowed, the cynical voice softened:
"Don't you Myra? Well, you'd better cultivate it. Its the fas.h.i.+on, and it's the only feeling I'm worth."
"Eddie," she said earnestly--tenderly, "I want you to promise me that you won't talk that way any more--at least not to _me_--it hurts me."
Her hand, on his sleeve, was as fair as a petal from the jessamine flower in her hair. He took it gently in his.
"Dear little Myra, little playmate--" he said. "You are my friend, I know, and have been since we were mere babies, in spite of knowing, as you do, what a naughty, idle, disobedient boy I've been, deserving every flogging and scolding I've gotten and utterly unworthy all the good things that have come my way--including your dear friends.h.i.+p."
"You are breaking your promise already," she said. "You _shall not_ run yourself down to me. I think you are the nicest boy in town!"
There was nothing complex about Myra. Her mind was an open book, and he suddenly found he liked it so--liked it tremendously. Her unveiled avowal of preference for him was most soothing to his restless, dissatisfied mood.
"Thank you, Myra," he said tenderly, kissing the flower-petal hand before he laid it down. He had a strong impulse to kiss _her_, but resisted it, with an effort, and abruptly changed the subject.
"Did you know that we are going to move?" he asked. "And that I'm going to the University next winter?"
"_To move_?" she questioned, aghast. "Where?"
"To the Gallego mansion, at Fifth and Main Streets. Mr. Allan has bought it. The dear little mother, who, I'd say, if you'd let me, is so much better to me than I deserve, is full of plans for furnis.h.i.+ng it and is going to fit up a beautiful room in it for me. It will be a delightful home for us, and quite grand after our modest cottage, but do you know I'm goose enough to be homesick at the thought of giving up my little den under the roof? Myself and I have had such jolly times together in it!"
She had scarcely heard him, except the first words and the stunning facts they contained. There was a minute's silence, then she spoke in a changed, quivering voice.
"Then that will be the end of our friends.h.i.+p, I suspect! When you get out of the neighborhood, and are off most of the time at the University, we will doubtless see little more of you."
Her clear blue eyes were s.h.i.+ning up at him through tears. Her mouth was tremulous as a distressed child's. The appeal met an instant response from the tender-hearted poet. _Both_ the flower-like hands were captured this time, and held fast, in spite of their fluttering. The excessively sweet fragrance of the blossom in her hair was in his nostrils. Her quick, short breaths told him of the tempest in her tender young bosom.
"Myra, little Myra, do you care like that?" he cried. "Then let the friends.h.i.+p go, and be my dear little sweetheart, won't you? I'm dying of loneliness and the want of somebody to love and to love me--somebody who understands me--and you do, don't you, Myra, darling?"
She was too happy to answer, but she suffered him to put his arms around her and kiss her soft pale hair--and her brow--and her tremulous mouth--the first kisses of love to him as well as to her. And ah, how sweet!
He laughed happily, lifted out of his gloom by this new, this deliriously sweet dream.
"Do you know, little sweetheart," he said, in a voice that was bubbling with joy, "I feel that you have cast those devils out of me forever. It was you that I wanted all the time, and did not know it. Some of these days, when I've been through college and settled down, we will be married, and wherever our home is, we must always have a porch like this, with a rose on it, and" (kissing her brow) "you must always wear a jessamine in your hair."
The Dreamer Part 8
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The Dreamer Part 8 summary
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