The Story of My Life Part 9

_Sept. 6th._--Had the pleasure of meeting my brother to-day, whom I have not seen for a year. How comforting to meet with those who are not only near by the ties of nature, but much more by the changing power of divine grace.

_Sept. 9th._--Have been greatly benefitted to-day by hearing Bishop Hedding preach from Rev. iii. 5.

_Sept. 16th._--I bless G.o.d for what mine eyes hath seen, and mine ears have heard to-day, being the first anniversary of the Canadian Missionary Society. The Hon. John Willson, M.P.P., was requested to take the chair. Several Indians, who had been brought to a knowledge of the truth, through the efforts of this Society, were present and spoke. How delightful to see the warlike Mohawk, and the degraded Mississauga, exchanging the heathen war-whoop for the sublime praise of the G.o.d of love! This is the commencement of greater things which the Lord will do for the aboriginies of Canada.

_Sept. 23rd._--I have this day received my appointment for York and Yonge street. Never did I feel more sensibly the necessity of Divine help. Help me, O G.o.d, to go forth in Thy strength, and contend manfully under the banner of Christ! Amen.

FOOTNOTES:

[3] These voluminous diaries and journals are full of detail, chiefly of Dr. Ryerson's religious experience. They are rich in ill.u.s.tration of the severe mental and spiritual disciplinary process--self-imposed--through which he pa.s.sed during these eventful years of his earlier life. They are singularly severe in their personal reflections upon his religious shortcomings, and want of watchfulness. They are tinged with an asceticism which largely characterized the religious experience of many of the early Methodist preachers of Mr. Wesley's time--an asceticism which strongly marked the Methodist biography and writings, which were almost the only religious reading accessible to the devoted Methodist pioneers of this country,--J. G. H.

[4] In a previous and subsequent chapter Dr. Ryerson refers more particularly to this illness (pp. 28, 39, and elsewhere). It was a turning point in his life, and decided him to enter the ministry on his twenty-second birthday.--J. G. H.

[5] Dr. Ryerson refers in another chapter to the overtures which were made to him at this time to enter the ministry of the Church of England.--J. G. H.

CHAPTER III.

1825-1826.

First Year of my Ministry and First Controversy.

My first appointment after my admission on trial was to the (what was then called the York and Yonge Street Circuit), which then embraced the Town of York (now the City of Toronto) Weston, the Towns.h.i.+ps of Vaughan, King, West Gwillimbury, North Gwillimbury, East Gwillimbury, Whitchurch, Markham, Pickering, Scarboro', and York, over which we travelled, and preached from twenty-five to thirty-five sermons in four weeks, preaching generally three times on Sabbath and attending three cla.s.s meetings, besides preaching and attending cla.s.s meetings on week days.

The roads were (if in any place they could be called roads) bad beyond description; could only be travelled on horse-back, and on foot; the labours hard, and the accommodations of the most primitive kind; but we were received as angels of G.o.d by the people, our ministrations being almost the only supply of religious instruction to them; and nothing they valued more than to have the preacher partake of their humble and best hospitality.

It was during the latter part of this the first year of my itinerant ministry (April and May, 1826) that I was drawn and forced into the controversy on the Clergy Reserves and equal civil and religious rights and privileges among all religious persuasions in Upper Canada.[6] There had been some controversy between the leaders of the Churches of England and Scotland on their comparative standing as established churches in Upper Canada. In my earliest years, I had read and studied Blackstone's Commentaries on the laws of England, especially the rights of the Crown, and Parliament and Subject, Paley's Moral and Political Philosophy; and when I read and observed the character of the policy, and state of things in Canada, I felt that it was not according to the principles of British liberty, or of the British Const.i.tution; but I had not the slightest idea of writing anything on the subject.

At this juncture, (April, 1826,) a publication appeared, ent.i.tled "Sermon Preached and Published by the Venerable Archdeacon of York, in May, 1826, on the Death of the Late Bishop of Quebec," containing a sketch of the rise and progress of the Church of England in these provinces, and an appeal on behalf of that Church to the British Government and Parliament. In stating the obstacles which impeded the progress of the Church of England in Upper Canada, the memorable Author of the able discourse attacked the character of the religious persuasions not connected with the Church of England, especially the Methodists, whose ministers were represented as American in their origin and feelings, ignorant, forsaking their proper employments to preach what they did not understand, and which, from their pride, they disdained to learn; and were spreading disaffection to the civil and religious inst.i.tutions of Great Britain. In this sermon, not only was the status of the Church of England claimed as the Established Church of the Empire, and exclusively ent.i.tled to the Clergy Reserves, or one seventh of the lands of Upper Canada, but an appeal was made to the Imperial Government and Parliament for a grant of 300,000 per annum, to enable the Church of England in Upper Canada, to maintain the loyalty of Upper Canada to England. And these statements and appeals were made ten years after the close of the war of 1812-1815, by the United States against Britain, with the express view of conquering Canada and annexing it to the United States; and during which war both Methodist preachers and people were conspicuous for their loyalty and zeal in defence of the country.

The Methodists in York (now Toronto) at that time (1826) numbered about fifty persons, young and old; the two preachers arranged to meet once in four weeks on their return from their country tours, when a social meeting of the leading members of the society was held for conversation, consultation, and prayer. One of the members of this company obtained and brought to the meeting a copy of the Archdeacon's sermon, and read the parts of it which related to the attacks upon the Methodists, and the proposed method of exterminating them. The reading of those extracts produced a thrilling sensation of indignation and alarm, and all agreed that something must be written and done to defend the character and rights of Methodists and others a.s.sailed, against such attacks and such a policy. The voice of the meeting pointed to me to undertake this work.

I was then designated as "The Boy Preacher," from my youthful appearance, and as the youngest minister in the Church. I objected on account of my youth and incompetence; but my objections were overruled, when I proposed as a compromise, that during our next country tour the Superintendent of the Circuit (Rev. James Richardson), and myself should each write on the subject, and from what we should both write, something might be compiled to meet the case. This was agreed to, and at our next social monthly meeting in the town, inquiry was made as to what had been written in defence of the Methodists and others, against the attacks and policy of the Archdeacon of York. It was found that the Superintendent of the Circuit had written nothing; and on my being questioned, I said I had endeavoured to obey the instructions of my senior brethren. It was then insisted that I must read what I had written. I at length yielded, and read my answer to the attacks made on us. The reading of my paper was attended with alternate laughter and tears on the part of those present, all of whom insisted that it should be printed, I objecting that I had never written anything for the press, and was not competent to such a task, and advanced to throw my ma.n.u.script into the fire, when one of the elder members caught me by the arms, and another wrenched the ma.n.u.script out of my hands, saying he would take it to the printer. Finding my efforts vain to recover it, I said if it were restored I would not destroy it but rewrite it and return it to the brethren to do what they pleased with it. I did so. Two of the senior brethren took the ma.n.u.script to the printer, and its publication produced a sensation scarcely less violent and general than a Fenian invasion. It is said that before every house in Toronto might be seen groups reading and discussing the paper on the evening of its publication in June; and the excitement spread throughout the country.

It was the first defiant defence of the Methodists, and of the equal and civil rights of all religious persuasions; the first protest and argument on legal and British const.i.tutional grounds, against the erection of a dominant church establishment supported by the state in Upper Canada.

It was the Loyalists of America, and their descendants, in Upper Canada who first lifted up the voice of remonstrance against ecclesiastical despotism in the province, and unfurled the flag of equal religious rights and liberty for all religious persuasions.

The sermon of the Archdeacon of York was the third formal attack made by the Church of England clergy upon the characters of their unoffending Methodist brethren and those of other religious persuasions; but no defence of the a.s.sailed parties had as yet been written. In a subsequent discussion on another topic, referring to this matter, I said:

"Up to this time not a word had been written respecting the clergy of the Church of England, or the Clergy Reserve question, by any minister or member of the Methodist Church. At that time the Methodists had no law to secure a foot of land, on which to build parsonages, Chapels, and in which to bury their dead; their ministers were not allowed to solemnize matrimony; and some of them had been the objects of cruel and illegal persecution on the part of magistrates and others in authority. And now they were the b.u.t.t of unprovoked and unfounded aspersions from two heads of Episcopal Clergy, while pursuing the 'noiseless tenor of their way,' through trackless forests and bridgeless rivers and streams, to preach among the scattered inhabitants the unsearchable riches of Christ."[7]

_The Review_, in defence of the Methodists and others against such gratuitous and unjust imputations, consisted of about thirty octavo pages, appeared over the signature of "A Methodist Preacher;" it was commenced near Newmarket, in a cottage owned by the late Mr. Elias Smith, whose wife was a sister of the Lounts--a woman of great excellence. It was written piecemeal in the humble residences of the early settlers, in the course of eight days, during which time I rode on horseback nearly a hundred miles and preached seven sermons. On its publication I pursued my country tour of preaching, &c., little conscious of the storm that was brewing; but on my return to town, at the end of two weeks, I received newspapers containing four replies to my _Review_--three of them written by clergymen, and one by a scholarly layman of the Church of England. In those replies to the then unknown author of the _Review_, I was a.s.sailed by all sorts of contemptuous and criminating epithets--all denying that the author of such a publication could be "a Methodist Preacher,"--but was "an American," "a rebel," "a traitor,"--and that the _Review_ was the "prodigious effort of a party."

My agitation was extreme; finding myself, against my own intention and will, in the very tempest of a discussion for which I felt myself poorly prepared, I had little appet.i.te or sleep. At length roused to a sense of my position, I felt that I must either flee or fight. I decided upon the latter, strengthened by the consciousness that my principles were those of the British Const.i.tution and in defence of British rights. I devoted a day to fasting and prayer, and then went at my adversaries in good earnest. In less than four years after the commencement of this controversy, laws were pa.s.sed authorising the different religious denominations to hold land for churches, parsonages, and burying grounds, and their Ministers to solemnize matrimony; while the Legislative a.s.sembly pa.s.sed, by large majorities, resolutions, and addresses to the Crown against the exclusive pretensions of the Church of England to the Clergy Reserves and being the exclusive established Church of Upper Canada, though the Clergy Reserve question itself continued to be discussed, and was not finally settled until more than ten years afterwards.

Several months after the commencement of this controversy I paid my first annual visit to my parents, and for the first two days the burden of my Father's conversation was this controversy which was agitating the country. At length, while walking in the orchard, my Father turned short, and in a stern tone, said, "Egerton, they say that you are the author of these papers which are convulsing the whole country. I want to know whether you are or not?" I was compelled to acknowledge that I was the writer of these papers, when my Father lifted up his hands, in an agony of feeling, and exclaimed, "My G.o.d! we are all ruined!"

The state of my own mind and the character of my labours during this first year of my ministry, may be inferred from the following brief extracts from my diary:--

_October 4th_,--I have this evening arrived on my Circuit at York.

I feel the change to be awfully important, and entirely inadequate to give proper instruction to so intelligent a people. The Lord give me his a.s.sisting grace. I am resolved to devote my time, my heart, my all, to G.o.d without reserve. I do feel determined, by G.o.d's a.s.sistance, to rise early, spend no more time than is absolutely necessary, pray oftener, and more fervently, to be modest and solemn in the discharge of my public duties--to improve every leisure moment by reading or meditation, and to depend upon the a.s.sistance of Almighty G.o.d for the performance of every duty.

Oh, Lord, a.s.sist an ignorant youth to declare thy great salvation!

_Oct. 9th._--Commenced my labours this day. In the morning, the Lord was very near to help me, giving me a tongue to speak, and a heart to feel. But in the evening, after I got through my introduction, recollection failed and my mind was entirely blank.

For nearly five minutes I could scarcely speak a word; after this my thoughts returned. This seemed to be the hand of G.o.d, to show me my entire weakness.

_Oct. 16th--Sabbath._--Oh, G.o.d, water the efforts of this day with thy grace! If I am the means of persuading only one soul to embrace the Lord Jesus, I shall be amply rewarded. "Paul planted, Apollos watered, but G.o.d gave the increase." I Cor. iii. 6.

_Oct. 20th._--Once more, my Saviour, I renew my covenant and give myself away; 'tis all that I can do.

_Oct. 27th._--For several days past the Lord has been very gracious to my soul, and has greatly helped me in declaring His glorious counsels. But to-day, my heart felt very hard while preaching to a company of graceless sinners. It was in a tavern, and I doubt the propriety of preaching in such places.

_Oct. 31st._--I am one month nearer my end; am I so much nearer G.o.d and heaven? There are many precious hours I can give no favourable account of. Had I been more faithful, I might have led some poor wanderer into the way of truth. Oh, G.o.d, enter not into judgment with me! Spare the barren fig-tree a little longer.

_November 4th--Friday (Fast Day.)_--One reason why my labours are not more blessed, is because I feel and know so little of spiritual things myself. There is too much of self about me.

"When, gracious Lord, when shall it be, That I shall find my all in Thee; The fulness of Thy promise prove, The seal of Thine eternal love."

_Nov. 6th._--I felt greatly blessed while addressing a large Sabbath-school of more than a hundred scholars.

_Nov. 7th._--[On this day, the following letter was written from York by Dr. Ryerson to his Father. He said: On leaving the old home lately, I promised to write to you, my dear Father, and let you know how I am getting on. I arrived here a few days after I left home. I have received a letter from brother William, who told me that his prospects are encouraging. I received a letter also from brother John. He reached Perth about a fortnight after he left home, and was cordially received by all cla.s.ses. He preached the Sabbath after he got there to large and respectable congregations. He was very much pleased with his appointment, and his prospects are very favourable. On the first evening of his preaching, one professed to experience justification by faith, and several were deeply convicted. He thinks, from several circ.u.mstances, that his appointment is of G.o.d. I am very well pleased with my appointment. I travel with a person who is deeply pious, a true and disinterested friend, and a very respectable preacher. I travel about two hundred miles in four weeks, and preach twenty-five times, besides funerals. I spend two Sabbaths in York, and two in the country.

Our prospects on the circuit are encouraging. In York we have most flattering prospects. We have some increase almost every week. Our morning congregations fill the chapel, which was never the case before; and in the evening the chapel will not contain but little more than three-quarters of the people. Last evening several members of Parliament were present. I never addressed so large an audience before, and I never was so a.s.sisted from heaven in preaching as at this place. I have spent the last two Sabbaths in York, and I go to-day into the country. I was requested yesterday to address the Union Sunday-school, which contains about 150 or 200 children. It was a public examination of the School. I never heard children recite so correctly, and so perfectly before, as they did. There was quite a large congregation present, as it was designed to make a contribution for the support of the School. I first addressed a short discourse to the children, and then addressed the a.s.sembly. It was the most precious season that I ever experienced. It is, my dear Father, the most delightful employment I ever engaged in, to proclaim the name of Jesus to lost sinners. I feel more firmly attached to the cause than ever. The Lord has comforted, blessed, and prospered me beyond my expectations. I am resolved to devote all that I have and am, to his service. Get George to write shortly all the news of the day.

Remember me to my dear Mother.--H.]

[After writing to his Father, he wrote on the same day to his brother George, as follows:--

I have just heard the Governor's Speech to the two Houses of the Legislature. In the latter part of his address he hinted at a certain communication, which, by the permission of His Majesty, he would make by Message, to remove apprehensions that affected the civil rights of a very considerable part of the community. As to my religious enjoyments, I think that Christ has been more precious to me than ever. When I came into this Circuit, I began to fast and pray more than ever I had done before, and the Lord has greatly blessed me. I have scarcely had a barren time in preaching. I feel more strongly attached to the cause than ever. While the Lord will help, I am resolved to go forward. Rev.

James Richardson is a man of good sense, and deep piety, and a very acceptable and useful preacher.--H.]

_Nov. 10th._--Travelled twenty-two miles and preached twice. My views of Scripture of late have been obscure; I can recall the truths to my mind, but they don't make that impression they have hitherto done. Is this change of feeling inherent, or the effect of neglect of duty, and want of watchfulness? I will examine this point more fully. I know it is my privilege to enjoy peace with G.o.d, but whether it be my privilege at all times to possess equal feeling, I am not certain.

_Nov. 23rd._--I think Mr. Wesley's advice indispensably necessary, "to rise as soon as we wake." I am resolved to be more punctual in rising for the time to come.

_Nov. 29th._--How painful does my experience prove the truth of the Apostle, that "when I would do good evil is present with me." I have thought sometimes it would be impossible to forget G.o.d, or to be lukewarm in His cause; but alas I am p.r.o.ne to evil continually.

_December 14th._--The Lord has greatly delivered my soul from the burden of guilt and fear with which I have been so painfully bowed down for several days past; and, blessed be the name of the Lord, He begins to revive His work on the circuit. Five more have been added to the Church this week. Glory to G.o.d for His mercy and love!

_Dec. 30th._--A part of the day I spent in the Legislature. The first three months of last year I was in bad health, confined to my bed part of the time. The last nine months I have spent in trying to seek the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

_York, January 1st, 1826._--How faithful is the Saviour to that promise, "Lo, I am with thee, even to the end of the world." Though weak in body I have had to preach three times a day, and travel many miles. Jesus has been very precious to my soul.

_February 3rd._--I have travelled to-day in an Irish settlement, and preached twice to them. My life is a scene of toil and pain, I am far from well, and far from parents and relatives. While others enjoy all the advantages of domestic life, I am doomed to deny myself. Oh, my soul, behold the example the Saviour has set. "He had not where to lay his head." Is the servant above his Lord?

_Feb. 11th._--For several days I have been visiting my friends. I think they are improving in religious knowledge. What an unspeakable blessing to see them showing a desire to walk in the narrow way that leads to life eternal.

_Feb. 18th._--I have just returned to my Circuit. This is the first time I ever dropped appointments for the gratification of seeing my friends. It has taught me the lesson, that labouring in the vineyard of the Lord is more blessed than any personal gratification.