Memoirs of Aaron Burr Part 30

Affectionately,

THEODOSIA PREVOST.

FROM MRS. THEODOSIA PREVOST.

Litchfield, 6th March, 1781.

----Where can ----- be? Poor suffering soul; worthy a better fate.

Heaven preserve him for his own sake; for his distressed mother's. I pity her from my heart, and lament my inability to alleviate her sorrows. I invoke a better aid. May her "afflicted spirit find the only solace of its woes"--Religion, Heaven's greatest boon to man; the only distinction he ought to boast. In this, he is lord of the creation; without it, the most pitiable of all created things.

How strangely we pa.s.s through life! All acknowledge themselves mortal and immortal; and yet prefer the trifles of to-day to the treasures of eternity. Piety teaches resignation. Resignation without piety loses its beauty, and sinks into insensibility. Your beautiful quotation is worth more than all I can write in a twelvemonth. Continue writing on the subject. It is both pleasing and improving. The better I am acquainted with it, the more charms I find. Worlds should not purchase the little I possess. I promise myself many happy hours dedicated at the shrine of religion,

Yours, affectionately,

THEODOSIA PREVOST.

FROM MRS. THEODOSIA PREVOST.

Litchfield, May, 1781.

Our being the subject of much inquiry, conjecture, and calumny, is no more than we ought to expect. My attention to you was ever pointed enough to attract the observation of those who visited the house. Your esteem more than compensated for the worst they could say. When I am sensible I can make you and myself happy, I will readily join you to suppress their malice. But, till I am confident of _this_, I cannot think of our union. Till then I shall take shelter under the roof of my dear mother, where, by joining stock, we shall have sufficient to stem the torrent of adversity.

You speak of my spirits as if they were at my command, or depressed only from perverseness of temper. In these you mistake. Believe me, you cannot wish their return more ardently than I do. I would this moment consent to become a public mendicant, could I be restored to the same tranquillity of mind I enjoyed this time twelvemonth. The influence my letters may have on your studies is imaginary. The idea is so trite that I ask in hopes it was worn from your mind. My last year's trials are vouchers. I was always writing with a view to please you, and as often failed in the attempt. If a desire for my own happiness cannot restore me to myself, pecuniary motives never can. I wish you to study for your own sake; to ensure yourself respect and independence; to ensure us the comforts of life, when Providence deigns to fit our hearts for the enjoyment. I shall never look forward with confidence till your pride extends to that. I had vainly flattered my self that pride was inseparable to true love. In yours I find my error; but cannot renounce my idea of its being a necessary support _to_, and the only security _for_, permanent affection.

You see by the enclosed how ready my friends are to receive you, and promote your interest. I wish you may be fortunate in executing aunt Clark's business. My health and spirits are neither better nor worse than when you left me. I thank you for your attention to Bird's prescription.

Adieu,

THEODOSIA PREVOST.

FROM MRS. THEODOSIA PREVOST.

Sharon, September 11th, 1781.

My friend and neighbour, Mr. Livingston, will have the pleasure of presenting you this. You will find him quite the gentleman, and worthy your attention. Enclosed is a letter to my sister, which must be delivered by yourself. You know my reasons too well to infer from my caution that I entertain the least doubt of Mr. Livingston's punctuality.

Monsieur Tetard is gone to the manor, summoned by Mrs. Montgomery, on pretence of his being the only surviving witness to the general's will. The business that was to have detained him but a few days has kept him these six weeks. I cannot account for his delay, unless his extravagant encomiums on the progress of a friend of yours has proved a stimulation to those of superior talents. He exaggerates exceedingly in extolling his pupils. Those whose expectations are raised from his description must prepare themselves for disappointment.

Mr. and Mrs. Reeve were well a few days ago. She rides every morning to visit the boy, and returns before breakfast. I fear they will disappoint me in the promised visit.

We were obliged to Dr. Cutting for the most pleasing account of your health and spirits. Also, of your great progress in law. Judge Hobart expects Colonels Burr and Troup will make his suite to the October court, where he hopes to usher them, with all the eclat due to their merit. He counts the weeks, which he has now reduced to five. While the warmth of friends.h.i.+p animates his countenance, his heart swells with pride at the honour of patronising two such characters. He must not be disappointed; this must be the route, or he will believe himself slighted. I am obliged to his zeal, as it will procure us the pleasure of seeing you. The sight of an old acquaintance is quite a phenomenon. I am not surprised that genuine hospitality is fled to cottages. You will find it a la rustique chez votre amie.

THEODOSIA PREVOST.

FROM MAJOR R. ALDEN.

Fairfield, 26th February, 1781.

DEAR BURR,

Your letter of the 15th inst. pleases me. You have a heart that feels: a heart susceptible of tender friends.h.i.+p. Life has not a single charm to compare with such sensations. You know too well how to excite such emotions. Happy for us. These expel the keenest pangs. There is no such thing as real happiness. At best, it is but a delusion. We make our own pleasures as we do our troubles. Friends.h.i.+p will heighten the one and moderate the other.

I have been tortured with the anxiety of suspense. It has given me the most poignant distress. It disordered my mind; at times, almost drove me to despair. Some of my friends saw the effect, but could not conjecture the cause. You alone could penetrate the feelings of my heart; you alone are in possession of that evidence which will convict me of my weakness; my want of fort.i.tude. I dare intrust you. I feel the influence of your friends.h.i.+p. To a heart like yours, this will prove the sincerity and affection of mine. I bid adieu to camp, having completed my business, with my thanks to our worthy commander-in-chief for his attention to my character. The discharge he gave me equalled my wishes and exceeded my expectations. I have enjoyed the most rational satisfaction for three days past. I have commenced student.

Dr. Johnson has given me my plan of studies, and free access to his library. My ambition is not great, nor my views unbounded. I shall proportion the means to the object. If I persevere with attention, I have something more than wishes to build upon. Nothing within the compa.s.s of my abilities, that is justifiable, will be left untried, to gratify my reasonable desires.

I know that your request proceeded entirely from your friends.h.i.+p for me, and that you felt happy that it was in your power to oblige me. I feel the force of your kindness, but must deny myself the pleasure of spending some months with my friend. My time is short; age presses upon me. Four years have been devoted to my country, for which I have received no compensation.

It gives me pleasure to hear that your health is such that you can be thankful for the blessing, and are in a situation to enjoy yourself in the pursuit of your studies. My heart is sincerely interested in your happiness. Let me know your feelings, that I may know how to refine mine. Your friends.h.i.+p and letters add a continual charm to my life, and will always please the heart and secure the affection of, yours,

With sincerity,

R. ALDEN.

TO MRS. PREVOST.

Albany, 5th June, 1781.

I was absent when yours of the 10th ultimo came, and therefore did not receive it till the first inst. You may be a.s.sured will one day repent his insolence. Uniformity of conduct and great appearance of moderation are all that can be put in practice immediately. The maxim of a man whom neither of us esteem very highly is excellent on this occasion--"_Suaviter in modo, fort.i.ter in re_." See, my dear Theodosia, what you bring upon yourself by having once piddled at Latin. The maxim, however, would bear sheets of comment and days of reflection. I second the just pride of ----, in being averse to crouch to a villain. Your letter to E. would have every influence that mine possibly could.

These crosses are of that cla.s.s which, though they may perplex for a moment (a moment is too much), yet cannot affect our real happiness.

That mind is truly great which can bear with equanimity the trifling and unavoidable vexations of life, and be affected only by those events which determine our substantial bliss. Every period, and every situation, has a portion of these trifling crosses; and those who expect to avoid them all, or conquer them all, must be wretched without respite. Witness -----. I am half vexed at the manner in which you speak of what you term "the sorrows of -----." They are just of this trifling kind. Say and think no more of them. Their impression was momentary, and is long past.

G.'s uniformity of conduct for some time has established his character, and crushed the malice of his enemies. He has, however, mingled some address in his deportment--has made visits, and some acts of civility, to his avowed enemies, by which means he has gained some and silenced others. His whole conduct, his language, and even his thoughts, seem to have in view the happiness of. I believe this idea is impressed on him every hour of his life.

Yours,

A. BURR.

TO CHIEF-JUSTICE MORRIS.

Albany, 21st October, 1781.

SIR,

I do myself the honour to enclose you several letters, which were intended, I believe, to introduce me to your acquaintance, perhaps to your friends.h.i.+p. I am particularly unfortunate to see neither Mr.

Hobart nor yourself on the present occasion; the more so, as I find a rule of unexpected rigour, which, if strictly adhered to, must effectually exclude me from this bar. Mr. Judge Yates gives me reason to hope this rule may be enlarged. If it should be deemed unadvisable to make one of such lat.i.tude as may include me within a general description, perhaps my particular situation may be thought to claim particular indulgence. Before the revolution, and long before the existence of the present rule, I had served some time with an attorney of another state. At that period I could have availed my self of this service; and, surely, no rule could be intended to have such retrospect as to injure _one whose only misfortune is having sacrificed his time, his const.i.tution, and his fortune, to his country_.