The Funny Philosophers Part 14

"Those are pretty little men," said the Professor, looking after them with a peculiar expression of fun lurking around the corner of his mouth and twinkling in his eye. "What did you say their names were?"

"Love, Dove, and Bliss," said Toney.

"Love and Dove are the two who have their wings locked together?" asked the Professor.

"Yes," said Toney. "And Bliss is walking behind."

"That is a proper programme," said the Professor.

"When Love and Dove go together, Bliss should always accompany them."

"Now, Tom," said Toney, "you have seen the whole seven."

"The whole seven!" said the Professor. "Who are they?"

"The Seven Sweethearts," said Toney.

"The Seven Sweethearts!" exclaimed the Professor.

"An organization," said Toney, "which originated in Mapleton, and now has numerous ramifications all over the country."

"Indeed!" said the Professor. "I have traveled much but never heard of such an organization until now."

"Then you would like to know something about the Mystic Order of Seven Sweethearts?" said Seddon.

"Very much," said the Professor. "I am compiling a new work on zoology, and will devote a chapter to the species of animal you have mentioned."

"Toney will give you a history of the origin and objects of the organization," said Tom.

"With the greatest pleasure," said Toney. "But come, let us light our cigars and take seats on yonder bench under the trees and make ourselves comfortable."

The three friends proceeded to the spot designated, and while the fragrant smoke was rolling off from their cigars, Toney gave an account of the Mystic Brotherhood, such as Seddon had already been made acquainted with; following it up with a recital of the events which had recently transpired in the town of Bella Vista; including a graphic description of the combat between Botts and the monkey in the ball-room; the contemplated duel between Botts and Bragg, and its singular termination; the terrible quarrel between the latter and the landlord, and the expulsion of the valiant captain from the hotel; the abortive attempt of Perch to commit suicide, and the scenes that ensued up to the time of the arrival of Tickle. The Professor listened with grave interest, and occasionally made a note in a little book which he drew from his pocket and held in his hand. When Toney had concluded, he exclaimed,--

"Well, Toney, I thought that I knew something, but you are a long way ahead of me, my boy, in useful knowledge. Let me see." And he looked over his notes. "The Mystic Order of Seven Sweethearts. An order founded on principles of benevolence. Its object the welfare of women. To prevent marriages. Single women much happier than those who are married.

A grand idea of M. T. Pate. Toney, this organization must flourish. It will soon get far ahead of the Order of Seven Wise Men. But it must have leaders. Who are its officers?"

"I have a list of them here," said Toney, drawing a paper from his pocket-book.

"What is this?" said the Professor, taking the paper in his hand and glancing over it. It read as follows:

M. O. O. S. S.

N. G. G. . . . . . . M. T. Pate.

M. W. D. . . . . . . Wm. Wiggins.

P. O. P. F. . . . . . Edward Botts.

G. G. G. . . . . . . Samuel Perch.

D. A. . . . . . . . Lucius Love.

N. N. . . . . . . . Altamont Dove.

W. W. . . . . . . . Marmaduke Bliss.

"What do those letters signify?" said the Professor.

"I have been puzzling my held over them for a long while," said Toney.

"Suppose you and Tom Seddon now aid me in deciphering them."

"Agreed!" said Tom.

"N. G. G.," said the Professor. "What does that mean?"

"I can't make it out," said Toney.

"n.o.ble Grand Gander," suggested Tom.

"Good!" said Toney. "Tom, you are an Oedipus!"

"M. T. Pate is the n.o.ble Grand Gander of the organization," said the Professor, making an entry in his book. "M. W. D. What does that signify?"

"You are too hard for me," said Toney.

"Most Worthy Donkey," said Tom.

"Hurrah!" said Toney,--"that's it, I am certain. Tom, you should open a guessing school,--you would make your fortune."

"P. O. P. F.," said the Professor. "What's that?"

"Can't you guess, Tom?" said Toney.

"I am balked," said Tom.

"Botts?" said the Professor. "Is he the handsome man who was chasing the negroes?"

"The same," said Toney.

"Prince Of Pretty Fellows," suggested the Professor.

"That's it! excellent!" exclaimed Toney.

"G. G. G.?" said the Professor.

"Great Green Gosling," said Tom.

"Perch is the Great Green Gosling," said the Professor, making an entry in his book. "And now for Love. What is the signification of D. A.?"

"Dainty Adorer," said Toney; and the Professor made a note, and then inquired the meaning of N. N.

"n.o.ble Nonent.i.ty," said Tom.

"That hits Dove exactly," said Toney.