The Funny Philosophers Part 49

"You could not induce any of them to imbibe?" said Toney.

"No," said the Professor; "they are teetotalers, and Hercules is the President of the a.s.sociation. Come, let me introduce you to the amphibious animals who inhabit the forecastle."

The Professor and his two friends walked forward, and saw seated on the anchor an old sea-monster, with a very short pipe in his mouth. His original name was Timothy; but several reefs had been taken in it by his s.h.i.+pmates, and it had been finally tucked up into Tim.

Tom Seddon, like most young lovers who have just parted from the objects of their affections, had a tender heart, and, pitying the old sailor reduced to the necessity of endangering the end of his nose when he performed the important ceremony of fumigation, handed him a pipe with a long stem.

Old Tim examined this valuable present with a cool glance of criticism; and then proceeded to break the stem.

"Don't," said Tom. "What are you doing?"

"Too much timber!" said the old tar, laconically. And he broke off the stem within an inch of the bowl, which he filled with chips from a plug of tobacco; putting on top a live coal procured from the cook's galley.

"That beats thunder!" said Tom.

"Let him alone," said the Professor. "If he wants to give his proboscis the benefit of an auto da fe, it is his own business."

"Look at him!" said Tom.

"His nasal protuberance enveloped in vapor looks like an altar abundantly supplied with incense," said the Professor. "But who are those dusky gentlemen with whom Toney seems to be so intimate?"

"This one is from the island of Madeira," said Toney.

"Si, senor," said the sailor.

"His name is Pedro," said Toney.

"Which being interpreted is Peter," said the Professor.

"Pete," said Old Tim, with a puff at his pipe.

"Probably that is a corruption of the text," said the Professor, suggestively.

"And here is a Sardinian whose name is Pablo," said Toney.

"Which when translated is Paul," said the Professor.

"Jupiter!" exclaimed Tom Seddon, jumping back.

"It is Jupiter's brother," said the Professor, as a huge head appeared over the bow, followed by an immense body, which had been down in the forechains. "Neptune is coming on board to give you a fraternal hug."

"Old Nick!" said Tim, with another puff at his short pipe.

"Old Nick?" said the Professor. "I was not aware that he was an aquatic animal. I had always understood that he delighted to dwell in another element."

"Who is that lad running down the rigging?" said Tom to Timothy.

"Young Nick," said the salt, with another puff at his pipe.

"Old Nick and Young Nick!" said the Professor. "Undoubtedly these are nicknames bestowed on them for euphony."

"What port is that?" asked Tim, taking the pipe from his mouth.

"It lies on the south side of the Anonymous Islands," said the Professor.

"I have been there," said Old Nick. "Sailed with Captain Morrell in the s.h.i.+p Tartar. Good port. Rum cheap and tobacco plenty."

"I have no doubt of it," said the Professor, as he arose from his seat on a coil of rope, and, at the sound of the steward's bell summoning them to breakfast, walked with Toney and Tom to the cabin.

CHAPTER x.x.xVII.

"Look at M. T. Pate," said Tom Seddon, as he sat with Toney and the Professor on deck one morning, about a week after they had been at sea.

The s.h.i.+p was running at the rate of nine knots, with the wind on the quarter.

"He treads as tremulously as a turkey condemned to the ordeal of tripping over a liberal sprinkling of hot ashes," said the Professor.

"Getting his sea-legs," said Old Tim, as he toddled by with a rope in his hand.

"Our venerable friend suggests that Pate is about to undergo a metamorphosis and become amphibious," said the Professor.

"What are Wiggins and Botts doing yonder?" said Toney.

"Hugging!" said Tom.

"The hug of the Old Grizzly is dangerous," said the Professor.

"And Perch and Hercules seem to have fraternized," said Toney.

"The Long Green Boy is clinging to the giant as the vine clings to the oak," said the Professor.

"Poor Moses!" said Toney.

"Look at him!" said Tom.

"His eyes are amply dilated," said the Professor.

"He is afraid that the s.h.i.+p will be upset," said Tom.

"How do you think that Pate would now perform on the light fantastic toe?" said Toney.

"Speaking of that suggests an idea," said the Professor.

"What is that?" asked Toney.