The Magistrate Part 46

LUKYN.

I will! Another job for you, Posket.

MR. POSKET.

[_With dignity._] I beg your pardon, in the event of such a deplorable occurrence, I should not occupy my present position. Go on, sir.

LUKYN.

Horace Vale and I are prepared to stand the brunt of our misdeeds.

But, Posket, there are ladies in the case.

MR. POSKET.

In the annals of the Mulberry Street Police Court such a circ.u.mstance is not unprecedented.

LUKYN.

Two helpless, forlorn ladies.

MR. POSKET.

[_Referring to charge sheet._] Alice Emmeline Fitzgerald and Harriet Macnamara. Oh, Lukyn, Lukyn!

LUKYN.

Pooh! I ask no favour for myself or Vale, but I come to you, Posket, to beg you to use your power to release these two ladies without a moment's delay.

[_MR. WORMINGTON touches MR. POSKET'S shoulder._

MR. POSKET.

Upon my word, Lukyn! Do you think I am to be undermined?

LUKYN.

Undermine the devil, sir! Don't talk to me! Let these ladies go, I say! Don't bring them into Court, don't see their faces--don't hear their voices--if you do, you'll regret it!

MR. POSKET.

Colonel Lukyn!

LUKYN.

[_Leaning across the table and gripping MR. POSKET by the shoulder._]

Posket, do you know that one of these ladies is a married lady?

MR. POSKET.

Of course I don't, sir. I blush to hear it.

LUKYN.

And do you know that from the moment this married lady steps into your confounded Court, the happiness, the contentment of a doting husband, become a confounded wreck and ruin?

MR. POSKET.

Then, sir, let it be my harrowing task to open the eyes of this foolish doting man to the treachery, the perfidy, which nestles upon his very hearthrug!

LUKYN.

Oh, lor'! Be careful, Posket! By George, be careful!

MR. POSKET.

Alexander Lukyn, you are my friend. Amongst the personal property taken from you when you entered these precincts may have been found a memorandum of an engagement to dine at my house to-night at a quarter to eight o'clock. But, Lukyn, I solemnly prepare you, you stand in danger of being late for dinner! I go further--I am not sure, after this morning's proceedings, that Mrs. Posket will be ready to receive you.

LUKYN.

I'm confoundedly certain she _won't!_

MR. POSKET.

Therefore, Lukyn, as an English husband and father it will be my duty to teach you and your disreputable companions [_referring to charge-sheet_], Alice Emmeline Fitzgerald and Harriet Macnamara, some rudimentary notions of propriety and decorum.

LUKYN.

Confound you, Posket--listen!

MR. POSKET.

I am listening, sir, to the guiding voice of Mrs. Posket--that newly-made wife still blus.h.i.+ng from the embarra.s.sment of her second marriage, and that voice says, "Strike for the sanct.i.ty of hearth and home, for the credit of the wives of England--no mercy!"

MR. WORMINGTON.

It is time to go into Court, sir. The charge against Colonel Lukyn is first on the list.

LUKYN.

Posket, I'll give you one last chance! If I write upon a sc.r.a.p of paper the real names of these two unfortunate ladies, will you shut yourself up for a moment, away from observation, and read these names before you go into Court?

MR. POSKET.

Certainly not, Colonel Lukyn! I cannot be influenced by private information in dealing with an offence which is, in my opinion, as black as--as my cravat! Ahem!

[_MR. WORMINGTON and MR. POSKET look at each other's necktie and turn up their collars hastily._

LUKYN.