Crossfire Book 1 - Page 58

"One more time, Gideon: what were you dreaming about?"

"I don't remember." He ran a hand through his hair and slid his legs off the edge of the bed. "I have some business on my mind and it's probably keeping me up. I'm going to work in my home office for a while. Come back to bed, and try to get some sleep."

"There were a few right answers to that question, Gideon. 'Let's talk about it tomorrow' would've been one. 'Let's talk about it over the weekend' would've been another. And even 'I'm not ready to talk about it' would be okay. But you have some nerve acting like you don't know what I'm talking about while speaking to me like I'm unreasonable."

"Angel - "

"Don't." My arms wrapped around my waist. "Do you think it was easy telling you about my past? Do you think it was painless cutting myself open and letting the ugliness spill out? It would've been simpler to cut you off and date someone less prominent. I took the risk because I want to be with you. Maybe someday you'll feel the same way about me."

I left the room.

"Eva! Eva, d.a.m.n it, come back here. What's wrong with you?"

I walked faster. I knew how he felt: the sickness in the gut that spread like cancer, the helpless anger, and the need to curl up in private and find the strength to shove the memories back into the deep dark hole they still lived in.

It wasn't an excuse for lying or deflecting the blame onto me.

I s.n.a.t.c.hed my purse off the chair where I'd dropped it on the way in from dinner and I rushed out the front door into the foyer to the elevator. The car doors were closing with me inside when I saw him step into the living room through the open front door. His nakedness ensured he couldn't come after me, while the look in his eyes ensured I wouldn't stay. He'd donned his mask again, that striking implacable face that kept the world a safe distance away.

Shaking, I leaned heavily against the bra.s.s handrail for support. I was torn between my concern for him, which urged me to stay, and my hard-won knowledge, which a.s.sured me that his coping strategy wasn't one I could live with. The road to recovery for me was paved with hard truths, not denials and lies.

Swiping at my wet cheeks when I pa.s.sed the third floor, I took deep breaths and collected myself before the doors opened on the lobby level.

The doorman whistled down a pa.s.sing cab for me and was such a consummate professional that he acted like I was dressed for work rather than sporting bare feet and a black dressing gown. I thanked him sincerely.

And I was so grateful to the cabbie for getting me home quickly that I tipped him well and didn't care about the furtive looks I got from my own doorman and the front desk staffer. I didn't even care about the look I got from the stunning, statuesque blonde who stepped out of the elevator I was waiting for, until I smelled Cary's cologne on her and realized the T-s.h.i.+rt she was wearing was one of his.

She took in my half-dressed state with an amused glance. "Nice robe."

"Nice s.h.i.+rt."

The blonde took off with a smirk.

When I reached my floor, I found Cary lounging in the open doorway in a robe of his own.

He straightened and opened his arms to me. "Come here, baby girl."

I walked straight into him and hugged him tight, smelling a woman's perfume and hard s.e.x all over him. "Who's the chick that just left?"

"Another model. Don't worry about her." He drew me into the apartment, and shut and locked the door. "Cross called. He said you were heading back and he has your keys. He wanted to be sure I was here and awake to let you in. For what it's worth, he sounded torn up and anxious. You wanna talk about it?"

Setting my purse down on the breakfast bar, I went into the kitchen. "He had another nightmare. A really bad one. When I asked him about it he denied, he lied, then he acted like I was nuts."

"Ah, the cla.s.sics."

The phone started ringing. I flicked the switch on the base that turned the ringer off and Cary did the same to the handset he'd left on the counter. Then I pulled out my smartphone, closed the alert that said I'd missed numerous calls from Gideon, and sent him a text message; Home safe. Hope you sleep well the rest of the night.

I powered the phone off and tossed it back in my purse; then I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "The kicker is that I told him all my junk earlier tonight."

Cary's brows shot up. "So you did it. How'd he take it?"

"Better than I had any right to expect. Nathan ought to hope they never run into each other." I finished the bottle. "And Gideon agreed to the couples counseling you suggested. I thought we'd turned a corner. Maybe we did, but we hit a brick wall anyway."

"You seem okay, though." He leaned into the breakfast bar. "No tears. Really calm. Should I be worried?"

I rubbed my belly to ease the fear that had rooted there. "No, I'll be all right. I just...I want it to work out between us. I want to be with him, but lying about serious issues is a deal breaker for me."

G.o.d. I couldn't let myself even consider that we might not get past this. I was already feeling antsy. The need to be with Gideon was a frantic beat in my blood.

"You're a tough cookie, baby girl. I'm proud of you." He came to me, linked our arms, and turned off the kitchen lights. "Let's crash and start a new day when we wake up."

"I thought things were going well with you and Trey."

His grin was glorious. "Honey, I think I'm in love."

"With who?" I leaned my cheek against his shoulder. "Trey or the blonde?"

"Trey, silly. The blonde just provided a workout."

I had a lot to say about that, but it wasn't the time to get into Cary's history of sabotaging his own happiness. And maybe focusing on how good things were with Trey was the best way to handle this instance of it. "So you've finally fallen for a good guy. We should celebrate."