The Man from Home Part 14

PIKE. Did they see you climb that wall?

IVANOFF. I think not.

[There comes a loud ringing at the gates. At the sound IVANOFF starts violently, throwing one arm up as if to s.h.i.+eld his face from a blow.]

IVANOFF. Oh, my G.o.d! it is they!

[He staggers back against the machine.]

PIKE [hastily stripping off his working blouse]. Do you know anything about gear-box plugs?

[The ringing continues.]

IVANOFF. Nothing in the world.

PIKE. Then you're a chauffeur. [Puts blouse on him.] Take a look at this one. [With emphatic significance.] It's _underneath_ the machine.

[Quickly sets his hands on IVANOFF'S shoulders, having forced the blouse on him, and pushes him beneath the car.]

MARIANO [within the hotel, calling]. Subito! Subito! Vengo, Signore!

Vengo!

[PIKE at same time rapidly wipes his hands on a rag, puts on his hat, cuffs, and coat, which have been lying on the seat.]

MARIANO [running on, fl.u.s.tered]. Corpo de St. Costanzo! Non posso essere dapertutto allo stesso tempo. Vengo, vengo!

[He hastens to the gates with his key, unfastening busily. Meanwhile PIKE lights a cigar.]

MARIANO. Ecco! [Throws open gates and falls back in astonishment.] Dio mio!

[Two carabiniere, good-looking, soldierly men in the carabiniere uniform, c.o.c.ked hats, white cross-belts, etc., are disclosed, their carbines slung over their arms, their long cloaks thrown back. Behind the carabiniere stand some fishermen in red caps, dirty flannel s.h.i.+rts, and trousers rolled up to the knee; also a few ragged beggars.]

FIRST CARABINIERE [as gate is opened]. Buon giorno!

[The two carabiniere enter briskly.]

MARIANO. [springing forward and closing gate, calling to crowd outside].

No, no!

FIRST CARABINIERE. Ceerchimo l'a.s.sa.s.sino Russo.

MARIANO. Dio mio! Non nell' Albergo Regina Margherita.

SECOND CARABINIERE [coming to PIKE]. Avete visto un uomo scavalcare il muro?

PIKE [genially]. Wis.h.i.+ng you many happy returns, Colonel!

MARIANO [greatly excited]. It is the robber of Russia. They think he climb the wall, the a.s.sa.s.sin. The other carabiniere, they surround all yonder. [Gesturing right and left.] These two they search here. They ask you, please, have you see him climb the wall.

PIKE. No.

FIRST CARABINIERE. Ae quelcuno pa.s.sato de qui?

MARIANO. He say has any one go across here?

PIKE. No.

FIRST CARABINIERE [pointing under the car]. Chi costui?

MARIANO. He want to know who that is.

PIKE. The new chauffeur for the machine, from Naples.

MARIANO. E lo chauffeur di un ill.u.s.tre personaggio padrone dell'

automobile.

FIRST CARABINIERE [bowing to PIKE]. Grazia, Signore. [To MARIANO.]

Cerchereremo nel giardino.

[Exit swiftly FIRST CARABINIERE to the right through pergola; SECOND to the left.]

MARIANO. Dio mio! but those are the brave men, Signore. Either one shall meet in a moment this powerful a.s.sa.s.sin who may take his lifes.

[Murmur of voice from back arises, sounds of running feet and shrill whistles and pounding on gates.]

[MARIANO runs back, opens the gates, showing excited and clamoring fishermen and beggars in the lane. They try to come in. He drives them back with a napkin, which has been hanging over his arm, crying: "Vate, vate! Devo dire al maresciallo di cacciarvi?"]

[Meanwhile VASILI has entered from the hotel, a bundle of clean white rags in his hand.]

VASILI. Is there a new eruption of Vesuvius?

PIKE [meeting him and taking the rags]. No; it's an eruption of colonels trying to arrest a high-school professor. I've got him under your car there.

VASILI [astounded]. What!

PIKE. I told them he's your new chauffeur.

VASILI. My friend, do you realize the penalty for protecting a criminal from arrest?

PIKE. We'll be proud of the risk.

[Speaks in an undertone to IVANOFF.]

This man owns the car. You can trust him the same as your own father.

VASILI [remonstrating]. My friend, my friend!

[Ill.u.s.tration: "THE NEW CHAUFFEUR FOR THE MACHINE, FROM NAPLES"]