Esther's Charge Part 24

Pickle was so taken aback by receiving praise and kindness instead of blame that for a moment his breath seemed taken away, but then he burst out with all the greater emphasis,--

"O sir, you mustn't call me brave; you mustn't think me clever, or anything that is good. I was very naughty and disobedient, and I led them all into it. It was all my fault. They would never have thought of it but for me. I don't think they would ever have gone in a boat at all, even to the city of refuge, if I hadn't taken them. It was disobedience.

Perhaps they didn't think of it, but I did. I want to be punished for it; I don't want to be praised. I was very conceited, and thought I knew such a precious lot. When the storm came, I found I didn't know anything. I was frightened, though perhaps they didn't know. But I was.

I knew I had done wrong. I thought G.o.d was angry with us. It was Milly who helped us most. It's she you ought to praise. I was naughty. I'm very sorry. I want to ask you to forgive me."

The last words came out almost with a sob. They were not easy words for Pickle to speak. He had not been used to make confession of his misdeeds, or to ask forgiveness. In the old days he had taken things much more lightly. But something new seemed to have come into his life now; and perhaps Mr. Polperran understood, for he sat down a little while upon the low stone wall, and talked very gravely and kindly to Pickle, and then forgave him fully for his share in the act of disobedience which might have ended so badly, and sent the children home with warm hearts and smiling faces, although there was real seriousness in their hearts.

"He is a very nice man," said Pickle with emphasis. "I think he is very good too. I like him better than Mrs. Pol--Polperran. But I'll tell her I'm sorry when I see her next. I shan't like to, but I will. I'm sorry Bertie's sick and has got a cold. But I daresay he'll be better soon."

Puck was up and dressed when they got back, and quite interested to hear about the thanksgiving, and the sermon, and the talk with Mr. Polperran afterwards. He was not quite so serious as Pickle, but then he had not quite the same weight upon his conscience. He had always been used to follow the lead of his brother, and though he was quite aware that they had been disobedient to a certain extent, he had not the same burden of responsibility as that which weighed upon the elder boy.

Mr. Earle had not been in church, so there was no news of Mr. Trelawny; and after the early dinner, Esther and Pickle walked up to ask after him. Puck felt indisposed for the exertion, and remained at home. Mrs.

St. Aiden expressed her intention of walking as far as the rectory to inquire for Milly and Bertie, and Puck said he would like to go with her.

As Esther and Pickle climbed the hill, he asked her about Mr. Trelawny, and listened with immense interest as she told the tale of her doings that afternoon.

"Weren't you afraid to go in? I thought you couldn't bear the cave. O Essie, I wish I had been there! But I never thought you'd dare go in."

"I didn't want to much," answered Esther in her grave way, "but it seemed like my duty."

Pickle pondered a while, and then said suddenly,--

"It's better to be frightened doing our duty than frightened because we've been disobedient and naughty and horrid things have come that needn't have done if we'd been good."

Esther turned this over in her mind for a while, and then looked at Pickle with a kindling smile.

"And yet we were both helped and taken care of. Pickle, I do think Jesus is very, very good."

"So do I," he answered, looking down and kicking the soft pine-needles under his feet; and after that they walked in silence up to the Crag.

n.o.body was about upon the terrace, which seemed strange on such a fine afternoon; but Mr. Earle came down to see the children, and gave them the report of Mr. Trelawny.

"His eyes are bandaged up still, and will have to be for some little time yet; and the burns, though they are not deep or dangerous, are rather painful. He says n.o.body touches them so gently as his 'little nurse.' That is you, Esther. He is to be kept quite quiet for a few days, and then the doctor will be able to judge better what is the extent of the mischief. That is as much as I can tell you to-day."

Esther's face was full of concern.

"Oh, I am so sorry. Can I go and see him?"

Fancy her asking this of her own accord!

"If he had not just dropped asleep you should have done so. He would have liked it; but he must not be disturbed, for he had a bad night, and now he has taken a draught, and perhaps will sleep some hours. But I will tell him you have been to ask, and will come and see him another day."

"To-morrow," said Esther promptly; "and please, Mr. Earle, mama says she thinks we had better have a week's holiday, so that you can stay with Mr. Trelawny, and we can go blackberrying and nutting. We didn't have a holiday in August because we had not worked long enough."

"I am much obliged to your mother for the kind thought," said Mr. Earle.

"I think a holiday will do none of you any harm just now, and I shall be glad to have the time with my old friend."

He stopped and looked rather earnestly at Esther, and then said,--

"What was it that took you into the cave to find Mr. Trelawny on Sat.u.r.day?"

"I heard him groan and call out. The sound came through the chimney."

"Did you know who it was?"

"No; but it was somebody who wanted help."

"I thought you were too frightened to go into underground places. Didn't you once tell me so?"

Esther's face crimsoned over, but Pickle broke in,--

"That's what I said just now; but she went because she thought it was her duty."

"I thought somebody wanted help, and it would be unkind not to," said Esther, hanging her head.

"But you were afraid?"

"Rather." She paused and hesitated, and then looked up quickly into Mr.

Earle's face. "I remembered what you had told me about when you were a little boy, and what your mother had said. I did that too. Then I wasn't so frightened."

She knew he understood, for she felt the touch of his hand upon her shoulder. She was too shy to look up again, but next moment she heard him ask another question.

"Esther, suppose you had been afraid, and had not gone in and got Mr.

Trelawny safely out of the cave, do you know what would have happened?"

"No."

"If he had lain there till I got back, he would have been a dead man."

Esther started and looked up with scared eyes, and Pickle drew a long whistling breath.

"Oh, I say!" he murmured, with staring eyes.

"It is quite true," went on Mr. Earle. "You would not understand if I were to try and tell you; but Mr. Trelawny had been trying a dangerous experiment. I do not think he knew himself how dangerous it was. The first explosion was enough to injure him and reduce him to the state in which you found him; but there was worse afterwards. He probably did not know it, not being able to see; but there was something going on all the time which must quite shortly after you left the cave with him have made a second and a worse explosion. Had anybody been there then he could not have lived. I suppose the thunderstorm prevented this sound from being heard, but a number of things down below are shattered to atoms that were all safe in their places when the servants went down at your bidding."

Esther's face had grown pale with excitement and awe. It was rather a terrible thing to feel how nearly Mr. Trelawny had lost his life.

Suppose she had not heard him. Suppose she had let her fears get the better of her. Oh, how glad she was that she had been trying to conquer them before! That had made it much easier when the moment for proving herself came.

The children walked very gravely away hand in hand. Then Pickle suddenly burst out,--

"I say, Essie, it's you who have taken the palm after all. You are really the heroine. I used to think girls were no good. But I think it's boys now."

"O Pickle, I don't think I like to be praised. I've been so silly often and often. But I am very happy and glad. Still I don't think I should have dared to go in if it hadn't been for what Mr. Earle told me once."

"What did he tell you? I wanted to ask."

Then Esther told of the talk in the old ruin, and Pickle listened very attentively.