Mr. Punch's Railway Book Part 18

Wonder (as we are moving again) what it was.

Wonder pa.s.sengers can't have some direct means of communicating with a guard.

Wonder how long we shall be before we get to Stonnhurst.

THE JOURNEY (CONCLUDED).

Wonder if that's my portmanteau that that elderly gentleman is taking away with him.

Wonder if they'll send to meet me at the station.

Wonder (if they don't send) whether there's a fly or an omnibus.

Wonder where their house is.

Wonder if the station-master knows where their house is.

Wonder what a fly will charge.

Wonder what I shall do if they don't send, and there isn't a fly or an omnibus.

Wonder what time they dine.

Wonder if I shall have time to write a letter before dinner.

Wonder, for the sixth time, whether I gave my writing-case to the guard, or left it in the cab.

Wonder if I _did_ leave it in the cab.

Wonder if this is where I get out.

SMALL STATION.

Wonder if the guard is right in saying that, as I'm going to Redditon, it doesn't matter whether I get out at the next station, Stonnhurst, or Morley Vale, the next but one.

Wonder for which place my luggage was labelled.

Wonder whether after getting out at Stonnhurst I shall have to go back for my luggage to Morley Vale.

Wonder if I do right in deciding upon getting out at Stonnhurst.

STONNHURST.

Wonder if my luggage has gone on to Morley Vale.

Wonder if I left my umbrella in the carriage, or forgot to bring it.

Wonder how far it is from Stonnhurst to Morley Vale.

Wonder if they've sent a trap to meet me at Morley Vale.

Wonder why, when people invite one to come down to some out-of-the-way place, they don't tell one all these difficulties in their letter.

Wonder if they'll have sense enough to drive to Stonnhurst from Morley Vale.

Wonder if I shall meet them on the road if I walk there.

Wonder which _is_ the road.

Wonder, in answer to demand at the station-door, where I put my ticket.

Wonder if I dropped it in the carriage.

Wonder what I can have done with it.

Wonder if I put it into the side pocket of my overcoat when I took out my lights.

Wonder where the deuce my overcoat is.

[Ill.u.s.tration: SCENE--_Chancery Lane "Tube" Station._

_First Lift Man._ "A good time comin' for me, mate. What O, for a bit of a chinge!"

_Second Lift Man._ "What's up, then?"

_First Lift Man (in impressive tones)._ "Got s.h.i.+fted to the _Bank_--beginnin' Monday!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: FOND DELUSION

_First Tourist (going north)._ "Hullo, Tompk----"

_Second Ditto (ditto, ditto)._ "Hsh----s.h.!.+ Confound it, you'll spoil all. They think in the train I'm a Highland chief!!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: FOR LADIES ONLY

"RESERVED CARRIAGES." (_See "Day by Day" in "Daily News"_)

"If you travel in one, you run greater risks than in travelling in the ordinary carriages. I have known railway officials allow men to jump into them at the last moment before the train starts, with a mutual wink at each other and a very objectionable grin."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: A DISENCHANTMENT