Charles Bukowski - Short Stories Collection Part 31

"You won't believe it."

"Tell me."

"Well, there's gold out there, laying on the ground, real gold. All you gotta do is walk out and pick it up. I know it sounds crazy, but it's there, I've seen it."

"What's the catch?"

"Well, it's an army artillery grounds. They sh.e.l.l all day, and sometimes at night, that's the catch. It takes guts. But the gold is there. Maybe the sh.e.l.ls broke it out of the earth, I don't know. But they usually don't sh.e.l.l at night."

"We go in at night."

"Right. And just pick the stuff up off of the ground. We'll be rich. All the p.u.s.s.y we want. Think of it a" all the p.u.s.s.y we want."

"It sounds good."

"In case they start sh.e.l.ling we leap into the first sh.e.l.l hole. They ain't gonna aim there again. If they hit the target, they're satisfied. If they haven't, the next shot will be somewhere else."

"That sounds logical."

Harry poured some whiskey. "But there's another catch."

"Yeah?"

"There's snakes out there. That's why we need two men. I know you're good with a gun. While I pick up the gold you watch for the snakes and blow their heads off. There are rattlers out there. I think you're the man to do it."

"Why the h.e.l.l not?"

They sat smoking and drinking, thinking about it.

"All that gold," said Harry, "all that p.u.s.s.y."

"You know," said Duke, "it mighta been that those guns blew open an old treasure chest."

"Whatever it is, there's gold out there."

They thought about it a while longer.

"How do you know," asked Duke, "that after you gather all the gold I won't shoot you out there?"

"Well, I just gotta take that chance."

"Do you trust me?"

"I don't trust any man."

Duke opened another beer, poured another drink.

"s.h.i.+t, there's no use of me going to work Monday is there?"

"Not now."

"I feel rich already."

"I kind of do too."

"All a man needs is some kind of break," said Duke, "then people treat him like a gentleman."

"Yeah."

"Where's this place at?" asked Duke.

"You'll see when we get there."

"We split down the middle?"

"We split down the middle."

"You're not worried about me shooting you?"

"Why do you keep bringing that up, Duke? I might shoot you."

"Jesus, I never thought of that. You wouldn't shoot a pal, would you?"

"Are we friends?"

"Well, yes, I'd say so, Harry."

"There'll be enough gold and p.u.s.s.y for both of us. We'll be set for life. No more parole officers. No more dish was.h.i.+ng gigs. The Beverly Hills wh.o.r.es will be chasing us. Our worries are over."

"Do you really think we can bring it off?

"Sure."

"Is there really gold down there?"

"Listen , man, I told you."

"O.k."

They drank and smoked some more. They didn't talk. They were both thinking of the future. It was a hot night. Some of the roomers had their doors open. Most of them had a bottle of wine. The men sat in their unders.h.i.+rts, easy and wondering and beaten. Some of them even had women, not too much as ladies but they could hold their wine.

"We better get another bottle," said Duke, "before they close."

"I don't have any money."

"I'll get it."

"O.k."

They got up and walked out the door. They turned right down the hall and went toward the back. The liquor store was down the alley and to the left. At the top of the back steps a man in stained and wrinkled clothing was stretched across the back doorway.

"Hey, it's my old pal Franky Canon. He really hung one on tonight. Guess I'll move him out of the doorway."

Harry picked him up by the feet and dragged him out of the way. Then he bent over him.

"Wonder if anybody's got to him yet?"

"I don't know," said Duke, "check him out.

" Duke pulled all Franky's pockets inside out. Checked the s.h.i.+rt. Opened his pants, checked him around the waist. All he found was a matchbook that said:

LEARN.

DRAFTING.

AT HOME.

Thousands of top pay jobs waiting "I guess somebody got him." said Harry.

They walked down the back steps and into the alley.

"Are you sure that gold is there?" asked Duke.

"Listen," said Harry, "you're p.i.s.sing me off! You think I'm crazy?"

"No."

"Well, don't ask me that no more then!"

They walked into the liquor store. Duke ordered a fifth of whiskey and a tall six pack of malt beer. Harry stole a bag of mixed nuts. Duke paid for his stuff and they walked out. Just as they got to the alley a young woman walked up; well, young for that area, she was about 30 with a good figure, but her hair was uncombed and she slurred a bit.

"What you guys got in that bag?"

"Cats' t.i.ts," said Duke.

She got up near Duke and rubbed against the bag.

"I don't wanna drink no wine. You got whiskey in there?"

"Sure, baby, come on up."

"Lemme see the bottle."

She looked good to Duke. She was slim and her dress was tight, real s.h.i.+t a.s.s tight, G.o.d d.a.m.n. He pulled the bottle out.

"O.k.," she said, "let's go."

They walked up the alley, the girl between them. Her haunch b.u.mped Harry as she walked. Harry grabbed her and kissed her. She broke off.

"You son of a b.i.t.c.h!" she screamed. "lemme alone!

" "You're gonna spoil everything, Harry!" said Duke. "You do that again and I'm gonna punch you out!"

"You can't punch me out."

"Just do it again!"

They walked up the alley and up the stairways, opened the door. The girl looked at Franky Cannon laying there but didn't say anything. They walked on up to the room. The girl sat down and crossed her legs. She had nice legs.

"My name's Ginny," she said.

Duke poured the drinks.

"I'm Duke. He's Harry."

Ginny smiled and took her drink.

"Some son of a b.i.t.c.h I'm stayin' with he kept me naked, kept my clothes locked in the closet. I was in there a week. I waited until he pa.s.sed out, took the key off him, got this dress and ran off."

"That's a nice dress."

"It's alright."

"It brings out the best in you."

"Thanks. Hey, listen, what do you guys do?"

"Do?" asked Duke.

"Yeah, I mean how do you make it?"

"We're gold prospectors," said Harry.