Three Plays by Granville-Barker Part 32

MRS. PRESTIGE. John . . kiss your aunt.

ABUD _goes to her, and she obliterates him in an embrace_.

GEORGE. [_To his father._] Sense of humour . . Sense of humour!

LADY LEETE. Snuff.

_But no one heeds her this time._

CARNABY. It doesn't matter.

GEORGE. Smile. Let's be helpless gracefully.

CARNABY. There are moments when I'm not sure.

GEORGE. It's her own life.

TOZER _staggers from the dining-room drunker than ever. He falls against the bal.u.s.ter and waves his arms._

MR. TOZER. Silence there for the corpse!

MR. CROWE. You beast!

MR. TOZER. Respect my cloth . . Mr. Prestige.

MR. CROWE. That's not my name.

MR. TOZER. I'll have you to know that I'm Sir George Leete's baronet's most boon companion and her la's.h.i.+p never goes nowhere without me. [_He subsides into a chair._]

LADY LEETE. [_Tearfully._] Snuff.

_From the dining-room comes_ ANN; _her head bent. She is crossing the hall when_ SARAH _follows, calling her_.

SARAH. Ann!

ANN _turns back to kiss her. The rest of the company stand gazing._ SIR GEORGE _gives snuff to_ LADY LEETE.

ANN. Good-bye, Sally.

SARAH. [_In a whisper._] Forget us.

GEORGE. [_Relieving his feelings._] Good-bye, everybody . . good-bye, everything.

ABUD _goes to the front door and opening it stands waiting for her. She goes coldly, but timidly to her father, to whom she puts her face up to be kissed._

ANN. Good-bye, Papa.

CARNABY. [_Quietly, as he kisses her cheek._] I can do without you.

SIR GEORGE LEETE. [_Raging at the draught._] Shut that door.

ANN. I'm gone.

_She goes with her husband._ MRS. OPIE _comes hurriedly out of the dining-room, too late_.

MRS. OPIE. Oh!

DR. REMNANT. Run . . Mrs. Opie.

CARNABY. There has started the new century!

MRS. OPIE _opens the front door to look after them_.

SIR GEORGE LEETE. [_With double energy._] Shut that door.

LADY LEETE _sneezes and then chokes. There is much commotion in her neighbourhood._

SIR GEORGE. Now she's hurt again.

DOLLY. Water!

MR. CROWE. Brandy!

SARAH. [_Going._] I'll fetch both.

GEORGE. We must all die . . some day.

MR. TOZER. [_Who has struggled up to see what is the matter._] And go to--

DR. REMNANT. h.e.l.l. You do believe in that, Mr. Toper.

MRS. OPIE. [_Fanning the poor old lady._] She's better.

CARNABY. [_To his guests._] Gentlemen . . punch.

PRESTIGE _and_ SMALLPEICE; MRS. PRESTIGE, GEORGE _and_ DOLLY _move towards the dining-room_.

MR. PRESTIGE. [_To_ SMALLPEICE.] You owe all this to me.

MR. CROWE. Dolly . . I'm going.

MRS. PRESTIGE. [_To her husband as she nods towards_ CARNABY.] Nathaniel . . look at 'im.

GEORGE. [_To his father-in-law._] Must we come too?

MRS. PRESTIGE. [_As before._] I can't help it . . a sneerin' carpin'

cavillin' devil!