The Old Tobacco Shop Part 15

"Right-o," said Mr. Mizzen, thrumming on his guitar. "What'll it be?"

The Cabin-boy sniffed and spoke in an undertone close to Freddie's ear.

"He'll be s-s-singing on the other s-s-side of his f-f-face before this night's o-o-over, you mark m-m-m-my wo-wo-words!"

"Lady and gentlemen"--began Mr. Mizzen.

"Ker-choo!" sneezed the parrot. "A wet sh-sh-sheet and a f-f-flowing s-s-s-sea! Three cheers f-f-for the--Ker-choo! Three cheers f-f-for hay f-f-fe-fever!"

"Down with b-b-b-both of 'em!" whispered the Cabin-boy fiercely in Freddie's ear.

"Suppose you sing us something about yourself," said Aunt Amanda.

"Ay, ay, ma'am," said Mr. Mizzen; and after playing a few chords and quivers on the guitar, he began to sing, in a voice like a fog-horn m.u.f.fled by a heavy fog, the following song concerning the

LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF L. MIZZEN

"When I was a lad I was bad as I could be, Wouldn't say 'Thank you' nor 'Please,' not me, And at church I wouldn't kneel but only on one knee, And at school I wouldn't study my A B C, And I couldn't conscientious with the Golden Rule agree, Nor understand the secret of its popularitee, Nor get a ounce of pleasure from the Rule of Three,-- I was bad right through; sweared 'hully gee,'

And worse sometimes, like 'jiminee;'

Scrawled with a pencil on my jographee, Stole birds' eggs in the huckleberry tree,-- Oh, I was bad; tried to learn a flea How to keep his balance on a rolling pea,-- Oh, regular bad; and my ma, said she, 'If you don't be better than what you be, I'll put you in the cupboard and turn the key.'

But I wouldn't and I wouldn't, no sirree,

So I ran away to sea; Yes, I ran away to sea;

With a little gingham, bottle of cambric tea, And a penny wrapped up in my hankerchee,

For I wanted to be free, So I ran away to sea."

Mr. Mizzen stopped, and looked towards the stern of the s.h.i.+p. "I thought," said he, "I kind of noticed something queer about the stern rail; looked as if it was lower. But I guess I'm mistaken."

Everyone looked, but saw nothing amiss. The Cabin-boy t.i.ttered into Freddie's ear.

"Would you like to hear the second verse?" said the Able Seaman.

"Yes, yes! Go on!" said several voices at once.

"Here goes, then," said Mr. Mizzen, thrumming on the guitar. "After I ran away to sea, I had a good many adventures, and some of 'em--anyway--

"When I was young I followed the Equator From Pole to Pole in the s.h.i.+p Perambulator, A four-wheeled schooner, a smoky old freighter, Loaded with sulphur for an old dead crater In the Andes Mountains, and a night or two later With a three-knot gale blowing loud and rude As the dark grows darker and the gale increases Of a sudden we strike and we goes all to pieces On the forty-seventh parallel of lat.i.tude.

And then and there we formed a committee And went in a body up to London City And walked up the steps and pulled the little bell, And spoke out bold to the Lords of Creation Where they sat in their wigs making rules of navigation, And explained to 'em the dangers of the Deadly Parallel.

'Take 'em down and pull 'em in,'

That's the way we did begin: ''Tisn't leaks nor 'tisn't whiskey Makes the sailor's life so risky, It's the parallel as lies acrost our track.

It's the Deadly Parallel, lying there so long and black, Is the subject of our moderate pet.i.tion; 'Tisn't much that we are wis.h.i.+n', But we humbly beg permission To implore,-- Coil 'em up, we implore, where they won't be in the way, Out of sight, safe ash.o.r.e, we humbly pray; For there's many a tidy bark Strikes against 'em in the dark And is never never heard of any more.

So we'll thank you heartilee If so very kind you'll be And remove this awful danger from the sea.'

But we couldn't make 'em do it; No, they simply wouldn't do it; And the bailiff shoved us gently from the door.

And we wept uncommon salty, For their reason did seem faulty, Any way that we could view it: And the reason which they gave us Why they really couldn't save us Was because the thing had ne'er been done before; No, such a thing had ne'er been done before."

Mr. Mizzen stopped again, and looked along the deck and up at the masts, and said, "I can't get it out of my head that the deck is slanting a little more than usual; the s.h.i.+p doesn't seem to come up well at the stern. However,--would you like to hear any more of this song?"

Everybody begged him to go on.

The Cabin-boy plucked Freddie's sleeve. "I've done it. You'll s-s-s-see!

Won't that M-m-marmaduke and that M-m-m-mizzen sing another tune when they f-f-f-find out?" Freddie looked at him in amazement; but the Able Seaman was commencing the third verse of his song:

"When I was older, and bold as you please, I s.h.i.+pped on the good s.h.i.+p Firkin of Cheese, For a v'yage of discovery in the far South Seas, To gather up a cargo of ambergris That grows in a cave on the amber trees Where the medicine men, all fine M.D.'s, For the sake of the usual medical fees, Crawl in by night on their hands and knees In a strictly ethical manner to seize The amber fruit that is used to grease The itching palm in Shekel's Disease,-- On a long long v'yage, as busy as bees, Never stopping for a moment to take our ease, Never changing our course, except when the breeze Took to blowing to windward,--we had slipped by degrees Down the oozy slopes of the Hebrides, And pa.s.sed through the locks of the Florida Keys, Which in getting through was a rather tight squeeze, But danger is nothing to men like these, When suddenly the lookout, a Portuguese Who had better been below a-sh.e.l.ling peas, Shrieked out, 'They are coming! By twos and threes!

On the starboard bow! We are lost!--"

"We're lost! we're lost! we're lost!" came a terrible cry from the forward part of the s.h.i.+p, as if in echo of Mr. Mizzen's song. "We're lost! The dippers! The dippers!"

Everyone jumped up, even Aunt Amanda. The Cabin-boy whispered in Freddie's ear, in great excitement, "N-n-n-now you'll s-see!"

A man came running down the deck, followed by all the skippers and mates. As he halted before Mr. Mizzen, he was evidently the Cook, by the white cook's cap he wore on his head. He took off his cap and wiped his forehead with his hand. He was in a state of mixed alarm and anger.

"We're lost!" he cried, and actually tore his hair with his hands. "It's that rascally Cabin-boy! The dippers is gone! Every last one of them!

And the s.h.i.+p leakin' by the barrelful! Let me get at that boy once, and I'll learn him! Fryin' on a slow fire would be too good for him! Swore he'd get even, he did, and now he's gone and done it! Stole all the dippers--he's the one that done it, you can bet your last biscuit! There ain't a dipper left in the s.h.i.+p, and the water pourin' in by the barrelful! I just found it out, while them lazy skippers and mates was lying around doing nothing! Gimme one sea-cook for all the skippers on the ocean, that's what I say! Every last dipper gone! gone! We're lost!"

Everyone looked around for the Cabin-boy. He was nowhere to be seen, but his laugh was heard overhead, and his face was then seen looking down from the rigging just above.

"I've d-d-d-done it," he cried, shrieking with laughter. "I'm even with you n-n-n-n-now! M-m-m-m-mizzen he l-l-l-learned the parrot to m-m-m-mock me, he did, and Cook he b-b-b-basted me in the g-g-g-galley all the t-t-t-t-time, and now I'm e-e-e-even with all of 'em. They ain't g-g-g-going to t-t-t-torment me no m-m-m-m-more! I stole the dippers and th-th-th-threw 'em overboard, every last one of 'em, and n-n-n-now you're g-g-g-going to s-s-sink, sink, si-i-_ink_, d-d-d-down, down, d-d-d-_down_, to the bottom of the--bottom of the s-s-s-_sea_!"

He laughed louder than before, and the angry Cook sprang forward to climb up after him, but just then the s.h.i.+p gave a violent lurch backwards, nearly upsetting everyone, and settled down by the stern, so that that end of the boat was completely under water.

Aunt Amanda screamed. Toby and Mr. Punch came to her at once and supported her on each side. There was a great hubbub. Everyone tried to speak at once. Freddie felt his hand grasped in the strong hand of Mr.

Toby, and he began to feel somewhat less afraid. Over the hubbub could be heard the Cabin-boy's wild laugh.

"Everybody quiet!" shouted Mr. Mizzen. "We must think what we had better do."

"Yes, yes," cried a number of voices. "What are we going to do?"

"I wish," said Mr. Mizzen, thoughtfully, "I wish we had thought to bring a rowboat with us."

"What!" cried Aunt Amanda. "Do you mean to tell me that you came away on this long journey without an extra boat?"

"We didn't think of it," said Mr. Mizzen. "We had plenty of dippers, and we never thought of anybody's throwing them overboard."

"No! no!" cried all the skippers and mates together. "We never thought of that!"

"Then bring out the life-preservers at once!" said Aunt Amanda. "And be quick about it!"

"We haven't any," said Mr. Mizzen. "What would have been the use of life-preservers if the dippers were all on board? We never thought we would need them."

"No! no!" cried all the skippers and mates together. "We never thought of that!"

"Then think of something now," said Aunt Amanda. "Don't you see the s.h.i.+p's settling deeper in the water?"

The s.h.i.+p was in fact deeper in the water. It was sinking rapidly. The deck began to list so much towards the stern that it was difficult to stand on it. The s.h.i.+p was making no headway whatever. The breeze was even lighter than before, and the sails were hanging limp. It would have taken a stiff wind indeed to have moved that water-logged boat; and it lay as if moored to a float, going up and down heavily in the long swell.

"Do you--er--think," said the Old Codger with the Wooden Leg, "that we are in--er--danger?"