My new life, won't you please become peaceful! Chapter 5

“Stupid big bro, when I’m not here, I worry that you’ll get eaten! I’ve been pondering whether you’re a top or a bottom…don’t get eaten so easily in this world!!”

That night…I dreamt about my psychotic fujos.h.i.+ sister from my previous life. This was most probably due to stress caused by Nigel’s words, resulting in me fantasising but because I miss my younger sister a lot, even though I’ve resigned from the little sister society but to be honest…sometimes, I would still choose a younger sister over a younger brother.

“Psychotic fujos.h.i.+ lil’ sis, it’s been a while and the first thing you do is criticise me? Don’t you miss me at all?!”

“Miss you? An elder brother’s who’s got as much value as two helpers…there’s no way I’d miss you.”

This so-not-cute lil’ sis.

“Stupid big bro, even though Nigel may be second after Haref Lancelot but if possible, it’s better if you don’t get close to him. Right now, I think…his level’s too high.”

“Are you saying I don’t deserve him?”

My lil’ sis turned and looked at me, her eyes filled with scorn. “How can you be my big bro?! How long have you stayed with me, how many BL anime have I made you watch, not including 18+ doujins.h.i.+s which we drew together. No matter how I see it, you’ve got more experience than all the guys in ‘Us.h.i.+nawareta hos.h.i.+’! But look at you now, you’re stressed cause Nigel sweet talked you!”

“Stupid lil’ sis, I’m a straight guy who likes girls. If I a guy said something like that to me I would naturally get stressed over it!”

“By the way, do you know that the game version of it is a H Game*.”

“Heh obviously….huh! Wait stupid lil’ sis, did you say H Game…so you play R rated games!!”

“Don’t look at me like that I’m grown up! Another thing, it’s for anatomy references…tsk, don’t start nagging me. Let’s just say ‘Us.h.i.+nawareta Hos.h.i.+’ is a game with scenes, do you understand what I’m telling you? If you go into Ca.s.s’ route or Nigel’s 3P route, it won’t be just cuddling, kissing or subtle touching but it would be….cough! cough!”

“Stupid lil’ sis, if I wasn’t dead yet, I would murder you!”

“What did I do? Well whatever, someone who’s a younger sister must be open minded so,  I won’t think about what you’ve just said” My psychotic younger sister broke into a smile. “And naturally, cause of the game’s popularity, the cough! cough! won’t be normal! You’re looking down on a fujos.h.i.+ like me too much! Chains, whips and handcuffs are nothing!”

“I’ll kill you , you crazy lil’ sis!”

“like you can pfft! What I’m trying to tell you is get as far away from the route as you can! Or the only I can say to you is you’ll be…in shambles!!” My lil’ sis said with a serious face, “that’s why, as an experienced fujos.h.i.+, I’m advising you this!”

“Advise?” I made a face which spelt ‘I don’t believe you’.

“Yesssssss, I’m giving you advice cause we were siblings in the previous world, that’s why I want to tell you…Ahem!” My lil’ sis smiled in triumph, “if you don’t want to be a bottom, then…become a top!”

“Wut????!!”

“If you don’t want to lose your virginity as a bottom the you shall become a man among men: a top!!” 

“Wutttttttt???!!”

“You’re so stupid…if you don’t want to become an uke* then just become a seme**! Chat him up! Sweet talk him! being a seme is easy, it doesn’t hurt and it feels good!”

I made a face of repulsion to my lil’ sis, “why did I even tolerate you huh, psychotic fujos.h.i.+ lil’ sis? You grew up to be so deranged there’s no going back for you…” I wept from the bottom of my heart. My psychotic fujos.h.i.+ lil’ sis made an angered face and crossed her arms, she murmured “Huh”, this was a signal that she’s pouting. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you, from now on no matter how you turn out…I won’t care about you anymore!”

From what she’s been advising me…I think it’s best if she’d just ignored me! When she saw that I had no intention to make up with her. Her face scrunched together and mumbled “I’ve missed you a lot, big bro.” I was stupefied, I feel like I can’t quite follow the mood, “I also miss you”.

“I…”, she bit her lips before continuing to look at me, “about Ca.s.s Bedivere, if he was to be born, it’s best if you don’t obstruct his birth!” My mother in this life is already pregnant, if I want to prevent Ca.s.s from being born, I’ll need to find a way to make my mom abort the child…lil’ sis, your big bro’s not that much of a wicked being!

“My time’s running out, remember my words…”

“…”

“…become a top!”

“You idiotic lil’s sis, if you’re just here to say that, you might as well not appear if there’s a next time!”

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In the blink of an eye, I finally turned 7 years old…with that, Ca.s.s Bedivere was also born, surrounded by father and mother’s delight oh, and also mine! G.o.d! Did you actually created a younger sister for me instead?! Why is this child so cute! Before, I thought Nigel was the cutest ever younger brother, until Ca.s.s was born. This is like a testament for the saying, blood is thicker than water*, Ca.s.s is naturally better than Nigel!

Lightly curled golden hair and big golden eyes, so G.o.ddam cute! Even though, you’re a boy, you’ve won against my psychotic fujos.h.i.+ lil’ sis, Nigel included and also double that, that’s how cute he is!

“You repulse me”, Haref, who rarely visits the Bedivere mansion said before leaning in to take a look at my little angel, “he looks like you…but better.”

“Obviously! Ca.s.s’ beauty is second to none”, I stretched out my chest in triumph, I would’ve loved to say, even Haref’s beauty can’t even compare to Ca.s.s’ finger nail cuttings…but when I saw Haref’s pretty feet…let’s not. I would still have to live for a long time, in order to act as a barrier and protect Ca.s.s from all those thirsty unworthy men! Haref and Nigel are enemies! They are villainous maggots who dare to swoop around Ca.s.s so, I will have to squash them…well, I don’t have the ability to, let’s just obstruct them!

“Ca.s.s is very cute”, Nigel smiled at me then smiled at Ca.s.s, who looked at him innocently…don’t use your seducing kills with other people’s younger brother! “He looks a lot like you, Gil. When he grows up, he’ll probably look like you.”

“I just hope he won’t grow up and have the same personality as you”, Haref shook his head, “if there was to be another Gilbert Bedivere, this would mean the Bedivere household is d.a.m.ned.” I’m not as bad as you’ve painted me, I’m just not studious, I don’t read books…ummm…when I grow up I’ll need to learn stuff anyways, when you’re a kid you’ve gotta act like one! Why should I act like an OP character and invite trouble? Since I’ve got a new life, why do I have to bask myself in limelight and make trouble run towards me. For me, leading a happy life is what’s best, difficult stuff like defeating the Demon king, slap the villains or rescue the princess, just let the main characters or someone who’s got special abilities do this or something!

“By the way, either this Sunday or Monday, is Ca.s.s not going to the great holy cathedral to get baptised?”, Nigel looked at me, who’s raise his eyebrows high, baptised? “I wonder which G.o.d would be Ca.s.s’ Guardian angel.”

I would like to cry “huh?” in confusion but Haref cut in and spoke before I could, “Now that you’ve said it, from all the years that’s pa.s.sed, from amongst all the 12 households, the youngest one is Ca.s.s Bedivere…all 12 of us may be able to finally meet at the same time.”

“That’s true”, Nigel smiled faintly…they’re the only ones who understand each other cause I don’t understand a thing! I tried knocking my head several times to try and recall the 6 seasons of anime I’ve watched ( obviously, I didn’t play the game ), even though the story started when Ca.s.s entered wizardry school at the age of 15 but stuff like baptism…oh!

If it’s baptism from my previous world, it’s done in Christianity inorder to cleanse sins. After the baptism, the person will have their own priest but the game has tweaked this slightly for its fantasy factor. After the baptism, you’ll get to know your guardian angel who’s also your partner, even though I’m saying partners but no one can actually command their guardian angels. Additionally, the only times you’re able to use them is when there’s extreme tension like in a typical anime, when there’s an adrenaline rush, your true power will awaken! Bang!! Guardian’s out…something along those lines.

For Gilbert Bedivere, the only time he was able to call his guardian angel out was when he fought for his younger brother before confessing his feeling which have been kept inside for an eternity…but hmmm, looking at my personality, if there were to be any dangers in front of me…I’ll be the first to run. Ah, sorry my guardian angel, you’ll probably never have the chance to show yourself. I looked at Nigel, if I remember correctly, he’s got the Ice G.o.d as his guardian angel and for Haref, the G.o.d Of Light: in my world, this type of G.o.d is normally bound, locked, and could only be used by ultra main characters! But, in this world, that G.o.d is probably a G.o.d among G.o.ds…oh well, we’ve got too wide a gap between our statuses anyways.

I poured tea into the tea cup, coming to this world made me a tea addict, “now that you’ve said it, none of the Dukes in our generation was born a girl…I could imagine when we grow up, it’ll be h.e.l.l…” Pictures of armies of girls from Marquis households down to Baron households popped into my head…I lifted my tea cup and sipped, I looked at already-frozen Nigel, he’s probably got more wars to fight.

Thinking about it…baptism and the meeting of all the route’s owners of the game ‘Us.h.i.+nawareta hos.h.i.+’…If I were Gilbert Bedivere, the incest route’s owner, could this be called, the meeting of his love rivals?

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*Blood is thick than water = family relations.h.i.+ps are better than any other kind of relations.h.i.+ps

Psychotic fujos.h.i.+ sister

RIP me, churning this out at midnight while listening to The book of Mormon, what have I become?

Me: Let’s keep it true to the original.

Also me: Let’s make it funnier than the original.

Also also me: Theses words don’t exist and they don’t make sense so let’s make up a new word.

Also also also me: Let’s just get the f.u.c.k to bed!