Louis' School Days Part 16

"I have sinned too greatly myself to judge very hardly of you; and when I think of all the love shown to me, I feel anxious to show some love to others; and I should be afraid, if I thought too hardly of you, I should soon be left to find out what I am."

Ferrers did not reply; he did not understand the motives which induced Louis' forbearance and gentleness, for he was an entire stranger to religion, and never having met with any one resembling Louis, could not comprehend, though he did not fail to admire, his character, now its beauty was so conspicuously before him. He felt there was an immeasurable distance between them--for the first time he found himself wanting. Mentally putting himself in Louis'

place, he acknowledged that no persuasion could have induced him to act so generously and disinterestedly; and knowing the keen sensitiveness of Louis to disgrace, he wondered how one so alive to the opinion of others, and naturally so yielding and wavering, could steadily and uncomplainingly persevere in his benevolent purpose; for not by word or sign did Louis even hint the truth to Reginald--the usual depository of his cares and secrets.

Louis, imagining the silence of his companion to proceed from shame and distress, proceeded after a few minutes to rea.s.sure him.

"You must not think that I am miserable, Ferrers, for lately I have been much happier than even when I was in favor, for now I do not care so much what the boys will think or say of me, and that thought was always coming in the way of every thing; and there are many things which make me very happy, often."

"What things, Louis?"

"I do not think you would understand me," replied Louis, timidly; "the things and thoughts that make me happy are so different from what we hear generally here."

"But tell me, Louis. I want to know how it is you are so much better than any one else here. I want to be better myself."

"Oh, dear Ferrers," said Louis, gazing earnestly in Ferrers' face, "if you _do_ want to be better, come to our Saviour, and He will make you all you want to be. It is the feeling of His goodness, and the happy hope of being G.o.d's children, and having all their sins forgiven, that make all G.o.d's people so happy; and you may have this happiness too, if you will. I do not think we think enough of our great name of Christian."

"You read your Bible a great deal, Louis, don't you?"

"Not so much as I ought," replied Louis, blus.h.i.+ng, "but I love it very much."

"It always seems to me such a dull book, I am always very glad when our daily reading's over."

"I remember when I thought something in the same way," said Louis: "only mamma used always to explain things so pleasantly, that even then I used to like to hear her read it to us. Papa once said to me that the Bible is like a garden of flowers, through which a careless person may walk, and notice nothing, but that one who is really anxious to find flowers or herbs to cure his disease, will look carefully till he finds what he wants, and that some happy and eager seekers will find pleasure in all."

"Louis, you are very happy," said Ferrers, "though very strange.

I would give a world, were it mine, to lay this heavy burden of mine down somewhere, and be as light in disgrace as you are."

Ferrers sighed deeply, and Louis said softly, "'Come unto Him all ye that are heavy laden, and He will give you rest. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.'"

Here they parted. The last whispers of the Saviour's gracious invitation, those "comfortable words," lingered in Ferrers' ears as he entered the house, and returned at night; but he did not throw himself and his burden at the Saviour's feet. And what hindered him? It was pride, pride--though forced to feel himself a sinner, pride still retained its hold, more feebly than before, but still as a giant.

CHAPTER IX.

The holidays were fast approaching. Ten days of the three weeks'

examination had pa.s.sed, and every energy was exerted, and every feeling of emulation called out, among those who had any hope of obtaining the honors held out to the successful candidates. It was surprising to see what could be, and what was, done. Even idle boys who had let their fair amount of talent lie dormant during the half year, now came forth, and, straining every nerve, were seen late and early at work which should have been gradually mastered during the last five months; denying themselves both recreation and sleep, with an energy, which, had it been earlier exerted in only half the degree, would have been highly laudable. Some of the latter, who possessed great talent, were successful, but generally the prizes fell to the lot of those who had throughout been uniformly steady, and who had gained an amount of thorough information which the eager study of a few weeks could not attain. Now there were beating hearts and anxious faces, and noisy summing up of the day's successes or losses, when the daily close of school proclaimed a truce to the emulous combatants.

A few there were who appeared totally indifferent as to the issue of the contest, and who hailed the term of examination as entailing no set tasks to be said the ensuing day under certain penalties, and, revelling in extended play-hours, cared nothing for disgrace, having no character to lose.

Reginald bid fair to carry off all, or nearly all, the second-cla.s.s honors; still, there were in his cla.s.s several whose determined efforts and talents gave him considerable work in winning the battle.

Amongst all this spirited warfare, it is not to be supposed that Louis was tranquil; for, though naturally of an indolent temperament, there was in him a fund of latent emulation, which only wanted a stimulus such as the present to rouse him to action.

Louis was a boy of no mean ability, and now, fired with the hope of distinguis.h.i.+ng himself, and gaining a little honor that might efface the remembrance of past idleness, and give some pleasure to his dear parents, he applied himself so diligently and unremittingly to his studies during the last month, as to astonish his masters.

I do not mean to particularize the subjects for examination given by Dr. Wilkinson to the two upper cla.s.ses, for this simple reason, that my cla.s.sical and mathematical ignorance might cause mistakes more amusing to the erudite reader than pleasant to the author. It shall be sufficient to say, that whatever these subjects had been, the day's examination had gone through in a manner equally creditable to masters and pupils; and after a few turns in the fresh air when tea was over, a knot, comprising the greater part of the above-mentioned cla.s.ses, a.s.sembled round their head man to congratulate him on his undoubted successes, and to talk over the events of the day elsewhere. Reginald and Louis could spare little time for talking, and were walking up and down the playground, questioning and answering each other with the most untiring diligence, though both of them had been up since four o'clock that morning. There were a few who had risen still earlier, and who now lay fast asleep on forms in the school-room, or endeavored to keep their eyes open by following the example of our hero and his brother.

"John's fast asleep," said Salisbury, laughing; "he has a capital way of gaining time--by getting up at half-past three, and falling asleep at seven."

"How does he stand for the prizes?" asked Smith.

"I'm sure I can't tell you; I suppose Mortimer's sure of the first cla.s.sics and history--and he ought, for he's coming to us next half.

John's next to him."

"I hear little Mortimer's winning laurels," remarked Trevannion.

"Oh! for _him_," said Harris, a second-cla.s.s boy, "because he's been such a dunce before;--I suspect Ferrers helps him."

"Ferrers!" cried all at once, and there was a laugh--"Do you hear, Ferrers?"

"Of course I do," replied Ferrers.

"He's not good-natured enough," remarked another.

"He needs no help," said Ferrers.

"You're sure of the mathematical prize, Ferrers; and Hamilton, of course, gets that for Latin composition."

Ferrers did not reply--his thoughts had flown to Louis, from whom they were now seldom absent; and, though he had been generally successful, yet the settled gloom and anxiety of his manner led many to suppose that he entertained fears for the issue of his examination. There were others who imagined that there was some deeper cause of anxiety preying on his mind, or that he was suffering from illness and fatigue--and one or two made mysterious remarks on his intimacy with Louis, and wondered what all foreboded.

"I wonder who'll get the medal," said one.

"Hamilton, of course," replied Smith.

"You're out there," said Frank Digby. "My magic has discovered that either the Lady Louisa or myself will obtain it. I admire your selfishness, young gentlemen--you a.s.sign to yourselves every thing, and leave us out of the question. If I can't be a genius, I mean to be a good boy."

Many bitter remarks were then made on Louis' late good behavior, and a few upon his manner towards Ferrers, which, by some, was styled meanness of the highest degree.

Ferrers could not endure it--he left the circle and walked about the playground alone, full of remorse, thinking over every plan he had formed for making amends to Louis for all. He looked up once or twice with a gasping effort, and, oh! in the wrinkled and contracted forehead what trouble might be read. "Oh! that it were a dream," he at last uttered, "that I could wake and find it a warning."

There was a soft, warm hand in his, and Louis' gentle voice replied, "Do not grieve now about me, Ferrers, it will soon be over."

Ferrers started and drew his hand away.

"You are not angry with me, are you?" said Louis; "I saw you alone, and I was afraid you wanted comfort--I did not like to come before, for fear the boys should make remarks, Reginald especially."

Ferrers looked at Louis a minute without speaking, and then, pus.h.i.+ng him off, walked quickly to the house, and did not show himself any more that evening.

Breakfast had long been finished, and the school was once more a.s.sembled; the second cla.s.s was waiting impatiently on the raised end of the school-room for the doctor's entrance, or for a summons to his presence; and near, at their several desks, busily writing answers to a number of printed questions, sat the first cla.s.s. It was nearly an hour past the time, and impatient eyes were directed to the clock over the folding-doors, which steadily marked the flying minutes.

"Where can the doctor be?" had been asked many times already, but no one could answer.

"We shall have no time--we shall not get done before night,"

muttered several malcontents. "What can keep the doctor?"