Louis' School Days Part 28

"Then he has all the more need of medicine," said Frank; "and if he supposes it, my physic will do him as much good as any one else's."

"You'll certainly get yourself into some serious sc.r.a.pe some day with these practical jokes, Frank," said Hamilton. "It is a most ungentlemanly propensity."

"Hear, hear," said Reginald.

"What's that? Who goes there?" said Frank, directing the attention of the company to the figure of a tall woman neatly dressed in black silk, with an old-fas.h.i.+oned bonnet of the coal-scuttle species, who was crossing from the house to the playground at the moment; the lady in question being no other than the housekeeper, clothes-mender, &c., to Dr. Wilkinson introduced by Mr. Frank Digby as Gruffy, more properly rejoicing in the name of Mrs. Guppy.

"It's Gruffy, isn't it? Where is she going, I wonder."

Without waiting for an answer, Frank flew round the house, and disappeared in the forbidden regions of the kitchen.

"What is he after?" said Meredith. "I suspect we shall have some fun to-night."

"I do wish Frank wouldn't be so fond of such nonsense," said Hamilton, angrily. "Come, Louis, and take a turn till the tea-bell rings."

They had taken two or three turns up and down in front of the school-room, when the bell rang, and Frank Digby came back full of glee.

"I've done it, Salisbury," he cried, as he threw his hat in the air. "I've done it. I shall kill two birds with one stone. I'm sure to win; it's all settled; only I must be allowed to put the school-room clock forward half an hour."

"That wasn't in the bargain," said Salisbury.

"It wasn't out of it, at any rate," said Frank.

"It's all fair," said several voices; "he may do it which way he pleases."

"Remember, _tace_," said Frank. "_Tace_ is the candle that lights Ca.s.son to bed to-night."

"I promise nothing, Frank," said Hamilton.

"Nevertheless you'll keep it," said Frank, laughing.

When tea was over, Frank disappeared rather mysteriously.

Salisbury had just begun to make use of one of the pile of books he had brought to the table in the cla.s.s-room, when a notification was brought to him from the school-room, that Mrs. Guppy wanted to speak to him.

"Bother take her!" he exclaimed. "Why can't she come and speak to me?

Interrupting a fellow at his work! Don't take my place; I shall be back presently."

Some time, however, elapsed, and no Salisbury. Now and then a few wonderments were expressed as to how Frank's wager would be won, and as to what Mrs. Guppy could want with Salisbury.

"Where is Frank, I wonder?" said one. "Just see, Peters, if Ca.s.son's gone yet."

Peters departed, and returned with the news that Ca.s.son had gone to bed a little while before.

"The farce has begun, I suspect," said Meredith. "It's more than half an hour since Salisbury went,--and depend upon it, wherever he is, there is Frank."

At this moment Salisbury rushed into the room, and throwing himself in a sitting posture on the floor, with his back against the wall as if completely exhausted, laughed on without uttering a word, till his mirth became so infectious, that nearly all the room joined him.

"Well, Salisbury!" "Well, Salisbury!" "What is it?" "Tell us." "Have done laughing, do, you wretch, you merry-andrew." "Do be sensible."

"Sensible!" groaned Salisbury, laying his head against a form; "oh, hold me, somebody--I'm quite knocked up with laughing. It's enough to make a fellow insensible for the rest of his life."

"Well, what is it, madcap?" said Reginald, jumping up from his seat, and approaching him in a threatening att.i.tude.

"Frank Digby!" said Salisbury, going off into another paroxysm of laughter.

"Shake him into a little sense, Mortimer," said Jones.

"Come, Salisbury, what is it?" said several more, coming up to him.

Salisbury sat upright and wiped his eyes.

"It was the clearest case of stabbing a man with his own sword I ever saw. I don't know whether I shall ever get it out for laughing, but I'll try."

Louis looked up at Hamilton, rather anxious to get nearer to Salisbury, but Hamilton wrote on as if determined neither to let Louis move, nor to pay any attention himself, and Louis dared not ask.

"Well, you know, Mrs. Guppy sent for me. I went off in a beautiful humor, as you may imagine, and found her ladys.h.i.+p in a great dressing-gown, false front, and spectacles, surrounded by little boys in various stages of Sat.u.r.day night's going to bed, tucking up Ca.s.son very comfortably.

"'Oh, Mr. Salisbury,' said she, 'I'll speak with you presently,--will you be so good as to wait there a minute?'

"Well, I thought she looked very odd, but she spoke just the same as ever; and being very cross, I said, 'I am in a hurry; perhaps when you've done you'll call on me in the study,' Whereupon her ladys.h.i.+p comes straight out of the room, and says on the landing, in Frank Digby's voice, 'Know me by this token, _I am mixing a black draught by the light of a Latin candle_.'"

Salisbury burst out into a fresh fit of laughter, in which he was joined by all present except Hamilton, who steadily pursued his work with an unmoved countenance.

"Well, you may imagine," said Salisbury, when he had recovered himself, "I wasn't in a hurry then. I came back and waited behind the door very patiently. You never saw any thing so exact--every motion and tone. He had pulled the curls over his eyes, and tied up his face with a great handkerchief over the cap, as Gruffy has been doing lately when she had the face-ache, and he went about among the little chaps in such a motherly, bustling way, it was quite affecting. Sally, who helped him, hadn't the least idea it wasn't Gruffy. However, the best of it is to come," said Salisbury, pausing a moment to recover the mirth which the recollection produced:--"He was stirring up a concoction of cold tea, ink and water, slate-pencil dust, sugar, mustard, and salt, when I thought" (Salisbury's voice trembled violently) "that I heard a step I ought to know, and I had hardly time to get completely behind the door when it was widely opened, and in walked the doctor!"

A burst of uproarious mirth drowned the voice of the speaker. There was a broad smile on Hamilton's face, though he did not raise his head.

As soon as Salisbury could speak, he continued:

"'Oh!' said I to myself, 'it's all up with you, Mr. Frank,' and I felt a little desirous of concealing my small proportions as much as might be. What Frank might feel I can't say, but he seemed to be very busy, and, as he turned round to the doctor, put up his handkerchief to his face.

"'Does your face ache, Mrs. Guppy?' says the doctor; and--imagine the impudence of the boy--he answered, it was a little troublesome. 'How is Clarke this evening?--I hear he has been asleep this afternoon.'

I imagine Frank has as much idea of the ident.i.ty of Clarke as I have--I don't even know who he is, much less that he was ill--but he answered just as Gruffy would do, with her handkerchief up to her mouth, 'Rather better, sir, I think--he was asleep when I saw him last, and I didn't disturb him.' 'Hem,' said the doctor, 'and who's this?'"

The audience was here so convulsed with laughter that Salisbury could not proceed; Louis could not help joining the laugh, though rather checked by the immovable gravity of Hamilton's countenance.

"Really, Hamilton," he said, "I wonder how Frank could tell such stories."

"He doesn't think them so," said Hamilton, abruptly.

"Well, Salisbury!" "Well, Salisbury!" exclaimed several impatient voices. "The impudence of the fellow." "How will he ever get out of it?" "Get on, Salisbury." "The idea of joking with the doctor."

"Go on, Salisbury." "What a capital fellow he'd make for one of those escaping heroes in romances--he'd never stay to have his head cut off."

"Well, and the doctor says, 'Who's this, Mrs. Guppy? Ca.s.son? How--what's the matter with you? How long have you been here?' 'Just come to bed, sir,' says Ca.s.son; and then the doctor makes a few inquiries about his terrible headache, et cetera; and Mrs. Guppy had a twinge of the toothache, and could only let the doctor know by little and little how she had thought it better to put him to bed.

"'And that is medicine for him?'

"The doctor looked very suspiciously at the cup, I fancy, for his tone was rather short and sulky. Frank seemed a little daunted, but he soon got up his spirits again, and, stirring up the mess, was just going to give it to Ca.s.son, when, lo! another strange footfall was heard; doctor turned round (I was in a state of fright, I a.s.sure you, lest he should discover me) and in marched the real Simon Pure! It was a picture--oh!