The Merry Devill of Edmonton Part 13

O Brian, a villain!

Thou hast received my daughter to thy lodge.

BRIAN.

You have stolen the best Deer in my walk to night. My Deer!

SIR ARTHUR.

My daughter!

Stop not my way!

BRIAN.

What make you in my walk? you have stolen the best Buck in my walk to night.

SIR ARTHUR.

My daughter!

BRIAN.

My Deer!

SIR RAPH.

Where is Mountchensey?

BRIAN.

Where's my Buck?

SIR ARTHUR.

I will complain me of thee to the King.

BRIAN.

I'll complain unto the King you spoil his game: Tis strange that men of your account and calling Will offer it!

I tell you true, Sir Arthur and Sir Raph, That none but you have only spoild my game.

SIR ARTHUR.

I charge you, stop us not!

BRIAN.

I charge you both ye get out of my ground!

Is this a time for such as you, Men of your place and of your gravity, To be abroad a thieving? tis a shame; And, afore G.o.d, if I had shot at you, I had served you well enough.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE II. Enfield Churchyard.

[Enter Banks the Miller, wet on his legs.]

BANKS.

S'foot, here's a dark night indeed! I think I have been in fifteen ditches between this and the forest. Soft, here's Enfield Church: I am so wet with climing over into an orchard for to steal some filberts. Well, here I'll sit in the Church porch, and wait for the rest of my consort.

[Enter the s.e.xton.]

s.e.xTON.

Here's a sky as black as Lucifer. G.o.d bless us! here was goodman Theophilus buried; he was the best Nutcracker that ever dwelt in Enfield. Well, tis 9. a clock, tis time to ring curfew. Lord bless us, what a white thing is that in the Church porch! O Lord, my legs are too weak for my body, my hair is too stiff for my night-cap, my heart fails; this is the ghost of Theophilus. O Lord, it follows me! I cannot say my prayers, and one would give me a thousand pound. Good spirit, I have bowled and drunk and followed the hounds with you a thousand times, though I have not the spirit now to deal with you. O Lord!

[Enter Priest.]

PRIEST.

Gra.s.s and hey, we are all mortall. Who's there?

s.e.xTON.

We are gra.s.s and hay indeed; I know you to be Master Parson by your phrase.

PRIEST.

s.e.xton!

PRIEST.

I, sir.

PRIEST.

For mortalities sake, What's the matter?

s.e.xTON.

O Lord, I am a man of another element; Master Theophilus Ghost is in the Church porch. There was a hundred Cats, all fire, dancing here even now, and they are clomb up to the top of the steeple; I'll not into the belfry for a world.

PRIEST.

O good Salomon; I have been about a deed of darkness to night: O Lord, I saw fifteen spirits in the forest, like white bulls; if I lie, I am an arrant thief: mortality haunts us--gra.s.s and hay! the devils at our heels, and let's hence to the parsonage.

[Exeunt.]

[The Miller comes out very softly.]

MILLER.

What noise was that? tis the watch, sure; that villanous unlucky rogue, Smug, is tain, upon my life; and then all our villeny comes out; I heard one cry, sure.

[Enter Host Blague.]

HOST.

If I go steal any more venison, I am a Paradox: s'foot, I can scarce bear the sin of my flesh in the day, tis so heavy; if I turn not honest, and serve the good Duke of Norfolk, as true mareterraneum skinker should do, let me never look higher then the element of a Constable.

MILLER.

By the Lord, there are some watchmen; I hear them name Maister Constable; I would to G.o.d my Mill were an Eunuch, and wanted her stones, so I were hence.

HOST.

Who's there?

MILLER.

Tis the Constable, by this light; I'll steal hence, and if I can meet mine host Blague, I'll tell him how Smug is tain, and will him to look to himself.

[Exit.]