Departmental Ditties and Barrack Room Ballads Part 22

If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white, Remember it's ruin to run from a fight: So take open order, lie down, and sit tight, And wait for supports like a soldier.

Wait, wait, wait like a soldier...

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains, And the women come out to cut up what remains, Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.

Go, go, go like a soldier, Go, go, go like a soldier, Go, go, go like a soldier, So-oldier of the Queen!

MANDALAY

By the old Moulmein PaG.o.da, lookin' lazy at the sea, There's a Burma girl a-settin', and I know she thinks o' me; For the wind is in the palm-trees, and the temple-bells they say: "Come you back, you British soldier; come you back to Mandalay!"

Come you back to Mandalay, Where the old Flotilla lay: Can't you 'ear their paddles chunkin' from Rangoon to Mandalay?

On the road to Mandalay, Where the flyin'-fishes play, An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!

'Er petticoat was yaller an' 'er little cap was green, An' 'er name was Supi-yaw-lat--jes' the same as Theebaw's Queen, An' I seed her first a-smokin' of a whackin' white cheroot, An' a-wastin' Christian kisses on an 'eathen idol's foot: Bloomin' idol made o'mud-- Wot they called the Great Gawd Budd-- Plucky lot she cared for idols when I kissed 'er where she stud!

On the road to Mandalay...

When the mist was on the rice-fields an' the sun was droppin' slow, She'd git 'er little banjo an' she'd sing "Kulla-lo-lo!"

With 'er arm upon my shoulder an' 'er cheek agin' my cheek We useter watch the steamers an' the hathis pilin' teak.

Elephints a-pilin' teak In the sludgy, squdgy creek, Where the silence 'ung that 'eavy you was 'arf afraid to speak!

On the road to Mandalay...

But that's all shove be'ind me--long ago an' fur away, An' there ain't no 'busses runnin' from the Bank to Mandalay; An' I'm learnin' 'ere in London what the ten-year soldier tells: "If you've 'eard the East a-callin', you won't never 'eed naught else."

No! you won't 'eed nothin' else But them spicy garlic smells, An' the suns.h.i.+ne an' the palm-trees an' the tinkly temple-bells; On the road to Mandalay...

I am sick o' wastin' leather on these gritty pavin'-stones, An' the blasted Henglish drizzle wakes the fever in my bones; Tho' I walks with fifty 'ousemaids outer Chelsea to the Strand, An' they talks a lot o' lovin', but wot do they understand?

Beefy face an' grubby 'and-- Law! wot do they understand?

I've a neater, sweeter maiden in a cleaner, greener land!

On the road to Mandalay...

s.h.i.+p me somewheres east of Suez, where the best is like the worst, Where there aren't no Ten Commandments an' a man can raise a thirst; For the temple-bells are callin', an' it's there that I would be-- By the old Moulmein PaG.o.da, looking lazy at the sea; On the road to Mandalay, Where the old Flotilla lay, With our sick beneath the awnings when we went to Mandalay!

On the road to Mandalay, Where the flyin'-fishes play, An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!

TROOPIN'

(Our Army in the East)

Troopin', troopin', troopin' to the sea: 'Ere's September come again--the six-year men are free.

O leave the dead be'ind us, for they cannot come away To where the s.h.i.+p's a-coalin' up that takes us 'ome today.

We're goin' 'ome, we're goin' 'ome, Our s.h.i.+p is at the sh.o.r.e, An' you must pack your 'aversack, For we won't come back no more.

Ho, don't you grieve for me, My lovely Mary-Ann, For I'll marry you yit on a fourp'ny bit As a time-expired man.

The Malabar's in 'arbour with the Jumner at 'er tail, An' the time-expired's waitin' of 'is orders for to sail.

Ho! the weary waitin' when on Khyber 'ills we lay, But the time-expired's waitin' of 'is orders 'ome today.

They'll turn us out at Portsmouth wharf in cold an' wet an' rain, All wearin' Injian cotton kit, but we will not complain; They'll kill us of pneumonia--for that's their little way-- But d.a.m.n the chills and fever, men, we're goin' 'ome today!

Troopin', troopin', winter's round again!

See the new draf's pourin' in for the old campaign; Ho, you poor recruities, but you've got to earn your pay-- What's the last from Lunnon, lads? We're goin' there today.

Troopin', troopin', give another cheer-- 'Ere's to English women an' a quart of English beer.

The Colonel an' the regiment an' all who've got to stay, Gawd's mercy strike 'em gentle--Whoop! we're goin' 'ome today.

We're goin' 'ome, we're goin' 'ome, Our s.h.i.+p is at the sh.o.r.e, An' you must pack your 'aversack, For we won't come back no more.

Ho, don't you grieve for me, My lovely Mary-Ann, For I'll marry you yit on a fourp'ny bit As a time-expired man.

FORD O' KABUL RIVER

Kabul town's by Kabul river-- Blow the bugle, draw the sword-- There I lef' my mate for ever, Wet an' drippin' by the ford.

Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river, Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!

There's the river up and brimmin', an' there's 'arf a squadron swimmin'

'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town's a blasted place-- Blow the bugle, draw the sword-- 'Strewth I sha'n't forget 'is face Wet an' drippin' by the ford!

Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river, Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!

Keep the crossing-stakes beside you, an' they will surely guide you 'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town is sun and dust-- Blow the bugle, draw the sword-- I'd ha' sooner drownded fust 'Stead of 'im beside the ford.

Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river, Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!

You can 'ear the 'orses thres.h.i.+n', you can 'ear the men a-splas.h.i.+n', 'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Kabul town was ours to take-- Blow the bugle, draw the sword-- I'd ha' left it for 'is sake-- 'Im that left me by the ford.

Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river, Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!

It's none so bloomin' dry there; ain't you never comin' nigh there, 'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark?

Kabul town'll go to h.e.l.l-- Blow the bugle, draw the sword-- 'Fore I see him 'live an' well-- 'Im the best beside the ford.

Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river, Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!

Gawd 'elp 'em if they blunder, for their boots'll pull 'em under, By the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.

Turn your 'orse from Kabul town-- Blow the bugle, draw the sword-- 'Im an' 'arf my troop is down, Down an' drownded by the ford.

Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river, Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!

There's the river low an' fallin', but it ain't no use o' callin'

'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.