The Nine Godheads Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Do You Want Toilet Paper?

It was now already nighttime, and it just so happened that even the moonlight was covered up. One could even consider it as one of those nights where one’s own five fingers would not be visible. It was precisely a dark and windy night, a perfect time for an a.s.sa.s.sin to infiltrate the Imperial Palace and kill someone or commit arson.

Ye Jinning easily found Xuan Xiao Pavilion with familiarity, dressed completely in black with a black mask. However, once he entered, he had not even gotten a good look at the situation before he found more than one hundred crossbows shooting towards him!

This was truly a critical moment between life and death. If he was the slightest bit careless, it would result in him being stuck onto the wall behind him with arrows.

However, since Ye Jinning dared to act as an a.s.sa.s.sin and teach Hong Xiaobao a lesson, he truly possessed some capability. As the only son of Thunder Sound Pavilion’s Second Elder 8-star martial artist Ye Feihong, he was a genuine 2-star martial artist who had already trained to the point of being able to use Strength Qi to protect his body!

After those arrows collided into his true qi s.h.i.+eld, they instantly slowed down by more than two times. Ye Jinning then brandished a longsword and sliced all of the arrows in half with numerous swis.h.i.+ng sounds, causing the arrows to topple to the ground.

“This frivolous cripple. What use can these things have towards true experts? Peh!” Ye Jinning spat in disdain, but he still continued onwards cautiously.

All of a sudden, without knowing what mechanism he touched, an innumerable amount of crossbow bolts suddenly shot out towards him from the surrounding walls!

“Trifling contraptions!” Ye Jinning once again used true qi to guard his body, then twirled and leapt about, his sword flas.h.i.+ng like snow. In the blink of an eye, the sharp arrows clattered to the ground.

“This Hong Xiaobao is only capable of this much.” Ye Jinning laughed coldly. It seemed as though this place was b.o.o.by trapped with numerous pitfalls. However, they really were not that useful. They might have been of some use against a 1-star martial artist who just began cultivating, but they were nothing to a 2-star martial artist.

However, out of Ye Jinning’s expectations, once the traps began, one could say that they were continuous without cease. He had not even taken two steps when an enormous steel wire net dropped down onto him from the ceiling! The net gleamed, so Ye Jinning knew that it was specially manufactured, meaning that normal knives and swords would not be able to cut it apart. As such, he decisively looked for a crack in the east most direction and immediately dashed towards it.

Crash….

The steel wire net crashed onto the ground, making faint clanking sounds. Ye Jinning had not yet stabilized himself when the ground suddenly shook abnormally. It was actually a gigantic ball-shaped cage that looked like the huge maw of a beast that chomped upwards from the ground! If he was truly captured by this iron cage, he would really become a turtle in a jar, available for anyone to butcher.

“He actually has some ability.” Ye Jinning frowned. Currently, he had already arrived in the northeast corner of the hall, while the front, left, and rear directions were all dead ends. There was only a bit of s.p.a.ce in the right-most direction, and it could be said that this was the sole path to life. He quickly and resolutely zipped towards the right, but he did not imagine that right when he turned into that side, his feet had not even stepped onto the ground when the floor actually caved in, leaving an immense hole!

“Not good!” Ye Jinning saw that it definitely would not be good if he fell in. Even if he did not die, he would not have anymore face left. However, he was not an ordinary person, so his sword immediately stabbed into the wall. He then used his momentum to leap, more or less stabilizing himself onto the sword hilt and not falling into the hole.

At this moment, the hole closed up again with a rumble. After Ye Jinning overcame this obstacle, he finally let out a sigh of relief. However, he did not expect that right at this moment, a faint red gas would suddenly spray out from the surroundings. Currently, it was right after Ye Jinning had expended all his strength, so new strength had not yet arisen. Furthermore, he had already avoided all the traps, so his mindset was not as alert. As a result, he inhaled in a breath. Immediately, his abdomen hurt as though knives were twisting it apart, and Ye Jinning’s entire face turned as red as a tomato while sweat perspired in layers on his body!

If one was to talk about this red smoke, it really was a sort of toxic poison. It was called Clinging Turtle Powder, and after inhalation, it would result in severe abdominal pain. In short, it was a relatively quick-acting laxative!

Normally, one can hold in stool but not urine. However, when one has diarrhea, stool is definitely less bearable than urine!

Ye Jinning was so desperate that his body nearly collapsed. If it turned out that he had diarrhea when he came in the middle of the night to teach Hong Xiaobao a lesson and he could not hold it in….

It was good that he recalled that the latrine Hong Xiaobao set up during the daytime was in the vicinity. Scanning in every direction, Ye Jinning’s eyes landed on a curtained window in front of him that was not too far away. That latrine was right outside that window!

One could liken this to a drowning man who had caught hold of a strand of gra.s.s. Ye Jinning mustered up the last bit of his spirit to scramble over without any hesitation and leap out of the window, speeding in the direction of that latrine!

“Phew….” At long last, he had resolved this pressing matter. Sitting on the toilet, Ye Jinning let out a long sigh of relief: “Fortunately, fortunately….” It was only at this moment that he suddenly realized something. He had raised such a ruckus, yet not one person had come. It truly was quite strange, but right when he thought of this, a youthful chuckle rang out from outside the latrine: “Aiyah, the person in here, give some answer. As long as you surrender, I won’t tell the guards to tear apart the room….”

In an instant, Ye Jinning had the urge to just die.

Previously, he was quite baffled. He had caused such a commotion, but how come not even one guard appeared? It turned out that this was the sly scheme of that d.a.m.ned Hong Xiaobao who was the embodiment of all things evil, the person who should die from a thousand blades! It seemed that he had a.s.sumed that he would definitely come here ah!

Pull apart the room? If someone were to see him while emptying his bowels, he would not have the face to continue living ah!

However, just like people say: blessings never come in pairs, nor does misfortune act alone. Ye Jinning’s forehead was currently covered in sweat as he tried his absolute best to think of an explanation when a gentle and feminine voice abruptly rang out. This time, Ye Jinning instantly hated that he could not just scurry into a hole to hide himself in….

“Alright, Hong Xiaobao, don’t raise such a fuss. Ye Jinning is the one inside there.” It was precisely Yun Caixiao’s voice, and he could only hear her gently saying: “He’s suffered a lot this time, so just let him go.”

In the end, he actually had to rely on a woman to resolve his embarra.s.sment!

Ye Jinning regretted it so much that his intestines turned green, but the issue was that this was not even the most tragic thing to occur.

The most tragic was that Hong Xiaobao firmly followed up with another knife: “Oh, Brother Jinning who is inside ah. If you want to come, then just come! Coming in the middle of the night—oh right, since we just set up this bathroom of mine today, there was no time to properly furnish it. Ah, don’t over think it. My meaning is, do you want toilet paper….”

These are the four great sorrows of life: accidentally wetting your shoe when urinating, spilling soup onto the crotch area of your pants, going to the bathroom when there is no toilet paper, and farting only to accidently let out c.r.a.p. As of today, Ye Jinning had just experienced one of them, not to mention that it was in front of the person he liked. However, the thing that made him the most depressed was that his love rival was right beside her—of course, the most unbearable was that his love rival was asking if he needed toilet paper. However, the absolute source of sorrow was that he could not refuse him….

“I….I would like some.” Ye Jinning’s fists had nearly exploded from how tight he was clenching them: “Then I’ll have to trouble Brother Xiaobao.”

“Ah, you flatter me, you flatter me.” Hong Xiaobao sent the toilet paper through the hole at once: “Use it lightly. This toilet paper isn’t very st.u.r.dy.”

“M-many thanks, Brother Xiaobao.” However, Ye Jinning’s miserable shriek soon rang out from within—en, the toilet paper had been punctured through….