Plays of Near & Far Part 28

MR. TRUNDLEBEN, _Secretary of the Club_.

MR. GLEEK, _Editor of the "Banner and Evening Gazette" and member of the Olympus_.

SCENE

_A room in the Olympus Club._

_Time: After luncheon._

SIR WEBLEY WOOTHERY-JURNIP _and_ MR. NEEKS _sit by a small table.

Further away sits_ MR. GLEEK, _the Editor of the "Banner and Evening Gazette."_ SIR WEBLEY JURNIP _rises and rings the bell by the fire-place. He returns to his seat._

MR. NEEKS: I see there's a man called Mr. William Shakespeare putting up for the Club.

SIR WEBLEY: Shakespeare? Shakespeare? Shakespeare? I once knew a man called Shaker.

NEEKS: No, it's Shakespeare--Mr. William Shakespeare.

SIR WEBLEY: Shakespeare? Shakespeare? Do _you_ know anything about him?

NEEKS: Well, I don't exactly recall--I made sure that you----

SIR WEBLEY: The Secretary ought to be more careful. Waiter!

JERGINS: Yes, Sir Webley. [_He comes._

SIR WEBLEY: Coffee, Jergins. Same as usual.

JERGINS: Yes, Sir Webley.

SIR WEBLEY: And, Jergins--there's a man called Mr. William Shakespeare putting up for the Club.

JERGINS: I'm sorry to hear that, Sir Webley.

SIR WEBLEY: Yes, Jergins. Well, there it is, you see; and I want you to go up and ask Mr. Trundleben if he'd come down.

JERGINS: Certainly, Sir Webley.

SIR WEBLEY: And then get my coffee.

JERGINS: Yes, Sir Webley.

[_He goes slowly away._

NEEKS: He'll be able to tell us all about him.

SIR WEBLEY: At the same time he should be more careful.

NEEKS: I'm afraid--I'm afraid he's getting rather, rather old.

SIR WEBLEY: Oh, I don't know, he was seventy only the other day. I don't call that too old--nowadays. He can't be now, he can't be more than, let me see, seventy-eight. Where does this Mr. Shaker live?

NEEKS: Shakespeare. Somewhere down in Warwicks.h.i.+re. A village called Bradford, I think, is the address he gives in the Candidates' Book.

SIR WEBLEY: Warwicks.h.i.+re! I do seem to remember something about him now.

If he's the same man I certainly do. William Shakespeare, you said.

NEEKS: Yes, that's the name.

SIR WEBLEY: Well, I certainly have heard about him now you mention it.

NEEKS: Really! And what does he do?

SIR WEBLEY: Do? Well, from what I heard he poaches.

NEEKS: Poaches!

SIR WEBLEY: Yes, a poacher. Trundleben deserves to get the sack for this. A poacher from the wilds of Warwicks.h.i.+re. I heard all about him.

He got after the deer at Charlecote.

NEEKS: A poacher!

SIR WEBLEY: That's all he is, a poacher. A member of the Olympus! He'll be dropping in here one fine day with other people's rabbits in his pockets.

[_Enter_ JERGINS.

JERGINS: Your coffee, Sir Webley.

SIR WEBLEY: My coffee. I should think so. (_He sips it._) One needs it.

JERGINS: Mr. Trundleben will be down at once, Sir Webley. I telephoned up to him.

SIR WEBLEY: Telephoned! Telephoned! The Club's getting more full of new-fangled devices every day. I remember the time when---- Thank you, Jergins.

[JERGINS _retires._

This is a pretty state of things, Neeks.

NEEKS: A pretty state of things indeed, Sir Webley.

SIR WEBLEY: Ah, here's Trundleben.

NEEKS: He'll tell us all about it, Sir Webley. I'm sure he'll----

SIR WEBLEY: Ah, Trundleben. Come and sit down here. Come and----

TRUNDLEBEN: Thank you, Sir Webley. I think I will. I don't walk quite as well as I used, and what with----