The Spectator Volume Iii Part 104

Sir _Philip de Somervile_ held the Manors of _Whichenovre, Scirescot, Ridware, Netherton_, and _Cowlee_, all in _Com.

Stafford_, of the Earls of _Lancaster_, by this memorable Service.

The said Sir _Philip_ shall find, maintain, and sustain, one _Bacon Flitch_, hanging in his Hall at _Whichenovre_ ready arrayed all times of the Year, but in _Lent_, to be given to every Man or Woman married, after the Day and the Year of their Marriage be past, in Form following.

Whensoever that any one such before named will come to enquire for the Bacon, in their own Person, they shall come to the Bailiff, or to the Porter of the Lords.h.i.+p of _Whichenovre_, and shall say to them in the manner as ensueth;

'Bayliff, or Porter, I doo you to know, that I am come for my self, to demand one _Bacon Flyke_ hanging in the Hall of the Lord of _Whichenovre_, after the Form thereunto belonging.'

After which Relation, the Bayliff or Porter shall a.s.sign a Day to him, upon Promise by his Faith to return, and with him to bring Twain of his Neighbours. And in the mean Time the said Bailiff shall take with him Twain of the Freeholders of the Lords.h.i.+p of _Whichenovre_, and they three shall go to the Manor of _Rudlow_, belonging to _Robert Knightleye_, and there shall summon the aforesaid _Knightleye_, or his Bayliff, commanding him to be ready at _Whichenovre_ the Day appointed, at Prime of Day, with his Carriage, that is to say, a Horse and a Saddle, a Sack and a Pryke, for to convey the said Bacon and Corn a Journey out of the County of _Stafford_, at his Costages. And then the said Bailiff shall, with the said Freeholders, summon all the Tenants of the said Manor, to be ready at the Day appointed, at _Whichenovre_, for to do and perform the Services which they owe to the Bacon. And at the Day a.s.signed, all such as owe Services to the Bacon, shall be ready at the Gate of the Manor of _Whichenovre_, from the Sun-rising to Noon, attending and awaiting for the coming of him who fetcheth the Bacon.

And when he is come, there shall be delivered to him and his Fellows, Chapelets; and to all those which shall be there, to do their Services due to the Bacon. And they shall lead the said Demandant with Trumps and Tabours, and other manner of Minstrels to the Hall-Door, where he shall find the Lord of _Whichenovre_, or his Steward, ready to deliver the Bacon in this Manner.

He shall enquire of him, which demandeth the Bacon, if he have brought twain of his Neighbours with him: Which must answer, _They be here ready_. And then the Steward shall cause these two Neighbours to swear, if the said Demandant be a wedded Man, or have been a Man wedded; and if since his Marriage one Year and a Day be past; and if he be a Free-man, or a Villain. And if his said Neighbours make Oath, that he hath for him all these three Points rehea.r.s.ed; then shall the Bacon be taken down and brought to the Hall-Door, and shall there be laid upon one half Quarter of Wheat, and upon one other of Rye. And he that demandeth the Bacon shall kneel upon his Knee, and shall hold his right Hand upon a Book, which Book shall be laid upon the Bacon and the Corn, and shall make Oath in this manner.

'Here ye, Sir _Philip_ de _Somervile_, Lord of _Whichenovre_, mayntener and gyver of this Baconne: That I _A_ sithe I Wedded _B_ my Wife, and sithe I had hyr in my kepyng, and at my Wylle, by a Year and a Day after our Marriage, I would not have chaunged for none other; farer ne fowler; richer, ne pourer; ne for none other descended of greater Lynage; slepyng ne wakyng, at noo tyme. And if the seyd _B_ were sole and I sole I would take her to be my Wife before all the Wymen of the Worlde, of what condiciones soever they be: good or evylle, as help me G.o.d ond his Seyntes, and this Flesh and all Fleshes.'

And his Neighbours shall make Oath, that they trust verily he hath said truly. And if it be found by his Neighbours before-named that he be a Free-man, there shall be delivered to him half a Quarter of Wheat and a Cheese; and if he be a Villain, he shall have half a Quarter of Rye without Cheese. And then shall _Knightleye_ the Lord of _Rudlow_ be called for, to carry all these Things tofore rehea.r.s.ed; and the said Corn shall be laid on one Horse and the Bacon above it: and he to whom the Bacon appertaineth shall ascend upon his Horse; and shall take the Cheese before him if he have a Horse. And if he have none, the Lord of _Whichenovre_ shall cause him to have one Horse and Saddle, to such time as he be past his Lords.h.i.+p: and so shall they depart the Manor of _Whichenovre_ with the Corn and the Bacon, tofore him that hath won it, with Trumpets, Tabourets, and other manner of Minstrelsie. And all the Free Tenants of _Whichenovre_ shall Conduct him to be pa.s.sed the Lords.h.i.+p of _Whichenovre_. And then shall they all return; except him, to whom appertained to make the Carriage and Journey without the County of _Stafford_, at the Costs of his Lord of _Whichenovre_.

No. 608. Monday, October 18, 1714. Addison. [1]

'--Perjuria ridet Amantum--'

Ovid.

_Mr._ SPECTATOR,

'According to my Promise, I herewith transmit to you a List of several Persons, who from time to time demanded the _Flitch of Bacon_ of Sir _Philip de Somervile_ and his Descendants; as it is preserved in an ancient Ma.n.u.script under the t.i.tle of _The Register of Whichenovre-Hall, and of the Bacon Flitch there maintained_.

'In the Beginning of this Record is recited the Law or Inst.i.tution in Form, as it is already printed in your last Paper: To which are added Two By-Laws, as a Comment upon the General Law, the Substance whereof is, that the Wife shall take the same Oath as the Husband, _mutatis mutandis_; and that the Judges shall, as they think meet, interrogate or cross-examine the Witnesses. After this proceeds the Register in Manner following.

'Aubry de Falstaff, _Son of Sir_ John Falstaff, _Kt. with Dame_ Maude _his Wife, were the first that demanded the Bacon, he having bribed twain of his Father's Companions to swear falsly in his Behoof whereby he gained the Flitch: But he and his said Wife falling immediately into a Dispute how the said Bacon should be dressed, it was by Order of the Judges taken from him, and hung up again in the Hall._

'Alison _the Wife of_ Stephen Freckle, _brought her said Husband along with her, and set forth the good Conditions and Behaviour of her Consort, adding withal that she doubted not but he was ready to attest the like of her, his Wife; whereupon he, the said_ Stephen, _shaking his Head, she turned short upon him, and gave him a Box on the Ear_.

'Philip de Waverland, _having laid his Hand upon the Book, when the Clause_, Were I sole and she sole, _was rehea.r.s.ed, found a secret Compunction rising in his Mind, and stole it off again_.

'Richard de Loveless, _who was a Courtier, and a very wellbred Man, being observed to hesitate at the Words_ after our Marriage, _was thereupon required to explain himself. He reply'd, by talking very largely of his exact Complaisance while he was a Lover; and alledg'd, that he had not in the least disobliged his Wife for a Year and a Day_ before _Marriage, which he hoped was the same Thing_.

'Rejected.

'Joceline Jolly, _Esq., making it appear by unquestionable Testimony, That he and his Wife had presented full and entire Affection for the s.p.a.ce of the first Month, commonly called the_ Honey-Moon; _he had in Consideration thereof one Rasher bestowed upon him_.

'After this, says the Record, many Years pa.s.sed over before any Demandant appeared at _Whichenovre-Hall_; insomuch that one would have thought that the whole Country were turned _Jews_, so little was their Affection to the Flitch of Bacon.

'The next Couple enrolled had like to have carried it, if one of the Witnesses had not deposed, That dining on a _Sunday_ with the Demandant, whose Wife had sate below the Squire's Lady at Church, she the said Wife dropped some Expressions, as if she thought her Husband deserved to be knighted; to which he returned a pa.s.sionate _Pish_! The Judges taking the Premises into Consideration, declared the aforesaid Behaviour to imply an unwarrantable Ambition in the Wife, and Anger in the Husband.

'It is recorded as a sufficient Disqualification of a certain Wife, that speaking of her Husband, she said, _G.o.d forgive him_.

'It is likewise remarkable, that a Couple were rejected upon the Deposition of one of their Neighbours, that the Lady had once told her Husband, that _it was her Duty to obey_; to which he replied, _Oh! my Dear, you are never in the wrong_.

'The violent Pa.s.sion of one Lady for her Lap-Dog; the turning away of the old House-Maid by another; a Tavern-Bill torn by the Wife, and a Taylor's by the Husband; a Quarrel about the Kissing-Crust; spoiling of Dinners, and coming in late of Nights; are so many several Articles which occasioned the Reprobation of some Scores of Demandants, whose Names are recorded in the aforesaid Register.

'Without enumerating other particular Persons, I shall content my self with observing, that the Sentence p.r.o.nounced against one _Gervase Poacher_ is, that _he might have had Bacon to his Eggs, if he had not heretofore scolded his Wife when they were over boiled_. And the Deposition against _Dorothy Dolittle_ runs in these Words; _That she had so far usuped the Dominion of the Coalfire, (the Stirring whereof her Husband claimed to himself) that by her good Will she never would suffer the Poker out of her Hand._

'I find but two Couples, in this first Century, that were successful: The first, was a Sea-Captain and his Wife, who since the Day of their Marriage, had not seen one another till the Day of the Claim. The Second, was an honest Pair in the Neighbourhood; The Husband was a Man of plain good Sense, and a peaceable Temper; the Woman was dumb.'

[Footnote 1: Lord Macaulay, in a letter published p. 1433 ... of Mr.

Bohn's edition of Lowndes's 'Bibliographer's Manual', calls this paper 'undoubtedly Addison's, and one of his best,' although not claimed, because he could not own it without admitting what Lord Macaulay rightly considered quite as obvious, his authors.h.i.+p of No. 623. Addison wrote, evidently, some other of these unappropriated papers.]

No. 609. Wednesday, October 20, 1714.

'--Farrago libelli--'

Juv.

_Mr._ SPECTATOR,

'I have for some Time desired to appear in your Paper, and have therefore chosen a Day [1] to steal into the SPECTATOR, when I take it for granted you will not have many spare Minutes for Speculations of your own. As I was the other Day walking with an honest Country-Gentleman, he very often was expressing his Astonishment to see the Town so mightily crowded with Doctors of Divinity: Upon which I told him he was very much mistaken if he took all those Gentlemen he saw in Scarfs to be Persons of that Dignity; for, that a young Divine, after his first Degree in the University, usually comes. .h.i.ther only to show himself; and on that Occasion is apt to think he is but half equipp'd with a Gown and Ca.s.sock for his publick Appearance, if he hath not the additional Ornament of a Scarf of the first Magnitude to int.i.tle him to the Appellation of Doctor from his Landlady and the Boy at _Childs_. Now since I know that this Piece of Garniture is looked upon as a Mark of Vanity or Affectation, as it is made use of among some of the little spruce Adventurers of the Town, I should be glad if you would give it a Place among those Extravagancies you have justly exposed in several of your Papers: being very well a.s.sured that the main Body of the Clergy, both in the Country and the Universities, who are almost to a Man untainted with it, would be very well pleased to see this Venerable Foppery well exposed. When my Patron did me the Honour to take me into his Family, (for I must own my self of this Order) he was pleased to say he took me as a Friend and Companion; and whether he looked upon the Scarf like the Lace and Shoulder-knot of a Footman, as a Badge of Servitude and Dependance, I do not know, but he was so kind as to leave my wearing of it to my own Discretion; and not having any just t.i.tle to it from my Degrees, I am content to be without the Ornament. The Privileges of our n.o.bility to keep a certain Number of Chaplains are undisputed, though perhaps not one in ten of those reverend Gentlemen have any Relation to the n.o.ble Families their Scarfs belong to; the Right generally of creating all Chaplains except the Domestick, where there is one, being nothing more than the Perquisite of a Steward's Place, who, if he happens to out-live any considerable Number of his n.o.ble Masters, shall probably, at one and the same Time, have fifty Chaplains, all in their proper Accoutrements, of his own Creation; though perhaps there hath been neither Grace nor Prayer said in the Family since the Introduction of the first Coronet.'

_I am_, &c.