Handy Andy Volume Ii Part 30

And sure enough they did before long hear an extraordinary row. Jack first roared for Bridget, and no answer was returned; the call was repeated with as little effect, and at last a most tremendous roar was heard above, but not from a female voice. Jack was heard below, swearing like a trooper, and, in a minute or two, back he rushed "_up-stairs_" and began cursing his myrmidons most awfully, and foaming at the mouth with rage.

"What's the matther?" cried the men.

"Matther!" roared Jack; "oh, you 'tarnal villains! You're a purty set to carry off a girl for a man--a purty job you've made of it!"

"Arrah, didn't we bring her to you?"

"_Her_, indeed--bring _her_--much good what you brought is to me!"

"Tare an' ouns! what's the matther at all? We dunna what you mane!"

shouted the men, returning rage for rage.

"Come down, and you'll see what's the matther," said Jack, descending the ladder; and the men hastened after him.

He led the way to the further end of the cabin, where a small glimmering of light was permitted to enter from the top, and lifting a tattered piece of canvas, which served as a screen to the bed, he exclaimed, with a curse, "Look there, you blackguards!"

The men gave a shout of surprise, for--what do you think they saw?--An empty bed!

CHAPTER XLII

It may be remembered that, on Father Phil's recommendation, Andy was to be removed out of the country to place him beyond the reach of Larry Hogan's machinations, and that the proposed journey to London afforded a good opportunity of taking him out of the way. Andy had been desired by Squire Egan to repair to Merryvale; but as some days had elapsed and Andy had not made his appearance, the alarms of the Squire that Andy might be tampered with began to revive, and d.i.c.k Dawson was therefore requested to call at the Widow Rooney's cabin as he was returning from the town, where some business with Murphy, about the pet.i.tion against Scatterbrain's return, demanded his presence.

d.i.c.k, as it happened, had no need to call at the widow's, for on his way to the town who should he see approaching but the renowned Andy himself.

On coming up to him, d.i.c.k pulled up his horse, and Andy pulled off his hat.

"G.o.d save your honour," said Andy.

"Why didn't you come to Merryvale, as you were bid?" said d.i.c.k.

"I couldn't, sir, becase--"

"Hold your tongue, you thief; you know you never can do what you're bid-- you are always wrong one way or other."

"You're hard on me, Misther d.i.c.k."

"Did you ever do anything right?--I ask yourself?"

"Indeed, sir, this time it was a rale bit o' business I had to do."

"And well you did it, no doubt. Did you marry any one lately?" said d.i.c.k, with a waggish grin and a wink.

"Faix, then, maybe I did," said Andy, with a knowing nod.

"And I hope _Matty_ is well?" said d.i.c.k.

"Ah, Misther d.i.c.k, you're always goin' on with your jokin', so you are.

So, you heerd o' that job, did you? Faix, a purty lady she is--oh, it's not her at all I am married to, but another woman."

"Another woman!" exclaimed d.i.c.k, in surprise.

"Yis, sir, another woman--a kind craythur."

"Another woman!" reiterated d.i.c.k, laughing; "married to two women in two days! Why you're worse than a Turk!"

"Ah, Misther d.i.c.k!"

"You Tarquin!"

"Sure, sir, what harm's in it?"'

"You Heliogabalus!!"

"Sure, it's no fault o' mine, sir."

"Bigamy, by this and that, flat bigamy! You'll only be hanged, as sure as your name's Andy."

"Sure, let me tell you how it was, sir, and you'll see I am quit of all harm, good or bad. 'T was a pack o' blackguards, you see, come to take off Oonah, sir."

"Oh, a case of abduction!"

"Yis, sir; so the women dhressed me up as a girl, and the blackguards, instead of the seduction of Oonah, only seduced me."

"Capital!" cried d.i.c.k; "well done, Andy! And who seduced you?"

"Shan _More_, 'faith--no less."

"Ho, ho! a dangerous customer to play tricks on, Andy."

"Sure enough, 'faith, and that's partly the rayson of what happened; but, by good luck, Big Jack was blind dhrunk when I got there, and I shammed screechin' so well that his sisther took pity on me, and said she'd keep me safe from harm in her own bed that night."

d.i.c.k gave a "view hallo" when he heard this, and shouted with laughter, delighted at the thought of Shan More, instead of carrying off a girl for himself, introducing a gallant to his own sister.

"Oh, now I see how you are married," said d.i.c.k; "that was the biter bit indeed."

"Oh, the divil a bit I'd ha' bit her only for the cross luck with me, for I wanted to schame off out o' the place, and escape; but she wouldn't let me, and cotch me and brought me back."

"I should think she would, indeed," said d.i.c.k, laughing. "What next?"

"Why I drank a power o' punch, sir, and was off my guard, you see, and couldn't keep the saycret so well afther that, and by dad she found it out."

"Just what I would expect of her," said d.i.c.k.

"Well, do you know, sir, though the thrick was agen her own brother, she laughed at it a power, and said I was a great divil, but that she couldn't blame me. So then I'd sthruv to coax her to let me make my escape, but she told me to wait a bit till the men above was faster asleep; but while I was waitin' for them to go to sleep, faix, I went to asleep myself, I was so tired; and when Bridget, the crathur, 'woke me in the morning, she was cryin' like a spout afther a thunder-storm, and said her characther would be ruined when the story got abroad over the counthry, and sure she darn't face the world if I wouldn't make her an honest woman."