Airel. Part 23

Kreios lamented his failure. And though the smal company of angels regarded the battle as a victory, he could not abandon the memory of so many brave angel warriors. They had stood by him to the death, and had tasted consequence... in a great many ways. He stiffened his resolve, that by refusing to dwel upon himself too heavily, he would honor the memory of those now lost.

He knew that this was not an end, but a beginning. They flew to Ke'elei. To home. To the beloved who remained. To bittersweet days.

Chapter IV.

Eagle Idaho, Present day When Stan had heard the name of Kreios uttered, it shook him to the core. Kreios? Here? The memories of Kreios were his inheritance as host of the Seer. He had cursed and gritted his teeth. He was both angered insensibly and pierced with fear. Kreios was supposed to have been kil ed mil ennia ago -or slinking in the shadows, hiding. Stan had a.s.sumed, as had the Seer, that he had succ.u.mbed to death somehow.

He growled in pain. His shoulder sagged and his col arbone stuck out, making a little tent under his s.h.i.+rt.

Airel was gone. No matter what he thought or how strong he believed he was, she was faster and much more powerful than he had ever imagined. She didn't look strong or fast.

He could hear the Seer cursing. Stan forgot about his broken col arbone and ran toward the house-he had no choice but to obey- for now.

The front door hung open and he caught a glimpse of his winged beast master flas.h.i.+ng across the living room in a tangle of light and smoke. Gripping his dark dagger, he peered around the corner and saw Kreios. His body was glowing with a bril iant white light, and Stan had to cover his eyes to keep from being blinded.

The angel was armed with a long hooked dagger, and as he stabbed it into the demon's gut, Stan felt the pain rip through his own midsection. He looked down to see that his s.h.i.+rt was soaked in blood. Could he die if the demon died? He didn't think so, but he wasn't talking any chances. He leaped into the fray and slashed with his dagger downward across the angel's back.

Kreios turned, almost casual y. The look of calm on his face stopped Stan in his tracks. He beheld the brightest eyes he had ever seen; they were steeped in more history and wisdom than he could possibly imagine.

The moment Kreios turned his back to the Seer, it seized its opportunity and lunged. Long rotten teeth sank deeply into his neck. The angel closed his eyes and bent at the knees, and for a second Stan thought he was going down.

"Kill him, you blubbering pig!" The voice stung his mind and sent sharp needles into his skin. In the time it took Stan to grip and draw the dagger back to put some force behind the final blow, Kreios launched.

The angel shot straight up through the second story and out the roof like a rocket. Plaster, wood, fibergla.s.s insulation and dust ejected out and rained down through the gaping hole, and the whole house skewed off center.

Stan was left earthbound, peering up at them as they twisted left, then right, trailing black smoke. He could not make out much detail, but he sensed through the demon the panic that flooded over its mind.

In the launch, the demon's jaws loosened their grip, and Kreios used inertia and the resistance of the wind to keep the beast at bay. He tore loose from the demon's arms, spinning him around so that he could grasp him from behind. "I've been waiting a very long time to clip your other wing, brother," he said as they flew higher.

Kreios grasped the Seer's lone intact wing and wrenched it out entirely by the root. Stan fel to the floor, arching his back in unbearable pain, howling madly. The Seer was wild with unspeakable rage, spitting and howling furiously.

Kreios punched the top of his head, released him from his grip, and let the struggling demon fal , flapping impotently.

Stan could hear the wind rus.h.i.+ng by, the flapping. As the body of the Seer impacted the earth, Stanley Alexander pa.s.sed out, his body convulsing, then rigid. He could feel his mind straining to make sense of it al , but came up empty.

Is this the end? There was no answer.

Chapter V.

Sawtooth Mountains of Idaho, Present day Kim had fol owed me through the dark tunnel in silence. It seemed we were both a little off; she was speechless for once. As for me, I had just fought a man who was not quite human and held my own.The huge house was utterly empty without anyone there. Kim gasped in surprise and wonder as I gave the tour: the great bal room, the ma.s.sive library, and my room. We didn't even consider entering Michael's room. It was too close to the wound, and the pain was stil fresh.

Kim spent some time in my bathroom so that she could at least clean up and feel human again. It's good that we were, along with al the other things we shared, real y close to the same size. She looked much better in one of my favorite outfits, and aside from the bruises and her stiffness, she was herself again. Nothing a little Advil and time couldn't cure.

One of the first things we discussed, once we had caught up, was when she could go home.

"Same as me," I said, "whenever it's safe."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I was amazed at how much like Kreios I now sounded, and how much like me she sounded. Things were starting to make sense for me now that I understood some of the reasons why-but not for her so much. "We'l talk with my... with Kreios when he gets... home." Old words were hard to fit into new definitions. I was trying to rol with it, Kim style.

She changed the subject rather effortlessly. It's one of the reasons she was my best friend. "You know, since you and Michael went missing I've been looking for you like a madwoman. Your parents cal ed the police, but that seemed to make things worse-the detective that was in charge of your case was murdered! Everything changed after that. They've got everyone looking for you now. I was expecting to see your face on the milk carton soon." We didn't laugh very hard at the joke; it only made me think of how we would have to launch a ma.s.sive cover-up if we were to survive for long.

Since Kreios wasn't back yet and we were getting pretty hungry, I put together some dinner out of whatever was around. If there was ever a time when I wished for the modern conveniences (such as frozen pizza), it was then.

The sun was sliding behind the mountains when I heard something far off. Kim obviously didn't hear it, and I wondered if I should be alarmed or get ready to defend the castle or something. I wished Kreios had showed me more. It was the sound of rus.h.i.+ng wind, but faster, quieter. Kreios appeared seconds later, landing on the back porch, graceful and feather-soft. Kim and I stared through the big windows, awestruck. We were in the company of an angel.

"Whoa," Kim muttered.

"I know-too bad I can't do that." Kim looked at me, her face scrunched.

Kreios opened the gla.s.s door and walked into the room. I ran to him, barely aware of what I was doing, and threw myself into his arms, asking if he was okay, if everything was alright. It sure seemed like there was nothing to worry about, the way he shone-but I couldn't help being concerned. This angel in the room was my grandfather.

As I drew away and looked at him, I could hear his voice in my mind. "Airel. Do you understand now?"

I nodded, slightly, not wanting Kim to feel like a third wheel attached to a private conversation. For the first time, I saw my grandfather-Kreios-and I heard him in my mind once more. "This is just the beginning."

Chapter VI.

The next morning we were up early, except for Kim, who was sleeping off the bruises and soreness. I sat with Kreios before sunrise in the library, by the fireplace.

He wasn't one for smal talk, and that seemed especial y appropriate now, given that we were up against so many negative possibilities, including the Brotherhood.

"I want to make sure you're okay. I know al of this is a lot to take in." Kreios looked over at me and I felt for the first time he was a real friend. Not just that; everything he did was for me, to help me. Knowing that he was also my grandfather made it just that much more real.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just trying to work it al out in my mind. I feel like I know you; as if a part of you has been inside me my entire life." I could feel my heart tighten as I tried not to think about Michael. It was hard not to think about the man I was in love with.

"Airel, I know that al of this is difficult for you. You have enough to deal with on top of your realization that you have supernatural abilities. You were kidnapped and taken from everything you know. Your friend was abducted and nearly kil ed, your life has been upended, and..." I was glad he didn't mention the primary crisis in my heart. He continued, "Wel , any one of those things would be hard for an adult, much more so a young lady like you." He folded his hands around a hot cup of tea and sighed.

My eyes burned. I tried to hold back the dam that was ready to break. I missed my parents, my school, and my life. I never asked for any of this. The one person I needed most after al of this was my mom. I needed to cry in her arms and to feel her love, to tel her how broken I was, and what sucked about it was how, no matter how bad I wanted to feel her near, I couldn't. "I'm so scared! I feel so alone right now."

Kreios touched my hand with gentle fingers. "Love is a different kind of thing, Airel. We can give our hearts away and lose ourselves in someone we love. I know what it's like to love and to lose that person."

"Yeah, but she died; she didn't betray you, she didn't lie to you, or lead you on about caring for you and then leave you!" Tears were now streaming down my cheeks. I wiped at them with the back of my hand.

"Yes, that's true. I did love and stil love my wife. I left everything I knew for her. I left the G.o.d who made me; I was the one who betrayed his love for me.

For love, we do things we would not otherwise do. But one thing we have to understand is that true love is freedom."

I looked at him and sucked in a deep breath. "What does that mean?"

"It means that you have to find out who you are. Who are you, Airel? Do not be defined by the man you love; do not lose who you are in the love of another. We can only love the way we were created to if we are first whole in ourselves. If you drown in your feelings for someone, it wil turn to obsession and it wil cloud your mind to reality." He took a slow sip of his tea.

"I don't know who I am. I'm confused, alone, hurt... and I feel like the one person I trusted most just cut out my heart. I know deep down that Michael loved me. I saw it in him. But he threw it al away, and for what? How can he just toss me aside like that?" My heart hurt so much I felt like it would burst. Hot tears flowed and I let them fal . I had to deal with my pain; I couldn't hide it inside anymore.

"I don't know why he did what he did. Maybe he did love you. Maybe there is more to the story than we wil ever know. But even if he did love you and you were going to be together you have to step back and look at how you loved him. Do you see that it was unhealthy? Do you see how he was overtaking who you are as a person? You are bound for failure if you al ow yourself to drown in each other."

His eyes were very soft. "I love you Airel. I have been looking after you ever since you were born. I want what is best for you and this pain-this need you have for him-is not love."

I became angry with how he was turning my pure love into something it could never be. "I love him! Don't you get it? It was him, not how he looked or what he said, but him. He is an amazing person! And it's my choice to love him. Don't you think I want to forget, to hate him for what he did to me? I want more than anything to erase him from my memories." I was sobbing now, and I buried my head in my hands and wept.

I looked back on every conversation, every look, every word spoken. The truth of what Kreios was saying came s.h.i.+ning through, inevitably. I decided to love him,-yes-but then I had begun to lose myself. I didn't want to see it, didn't want to admit he was right. How could this happen? I wanted to drown, to drink in Michael and die consumed by him. But was that real? Was it something I could count on?

Kreios let me cry. He didn't reach out to comfort me, but sat back with accepting eyes and let me get it al out. It flowed like water through the imagined man I had created, dissolving him into nothing.

"Tears never lie, Airel. What you're feeling is part of who you are. You are a strong, beautiful, intel igent, loving woman. In you there is more than you can imagine. You don't need a man to love you to make you special. You are special because you are you. Don't you see? See and believe you are one of G.o.d's children; that is what makes you special."

My shoulders shook as I poured out al my hurt, al my love and al my hidden hate for Michael, for myself. A part of me didn't want to feel; I wanted to shut it off, to run and hide from this overpowering pain. But what would that do? Would it stay buried? Like oil it would always come to the surface.

"I just want it to go away. I can't live feeling like this." My voice cracked and I let the wave of thoughts and memories cover me. "Kreios, I need him... I want him... but..."

"You have to let him go, Airel. You have to feel the pain, the hurt, and let him go." Taking me in his arms, Kreios held me and I cried out of my soul. Never before had I opened up my heart to my own fears and feelings. It was the worst and best experience of my life.

I'm not sure how much time went by, but after it was al over I fel into a deep sleep as Kreios ran his hand through my hair. He was my connection, the one person who understood what it was like and what I was feeling. I don't know if this will change my life, if I can move on and be strong but I know that I will be fine. I will be okay in the end.

Because I am enough.

Chapter VII.

We had a long breakfast. I talked with Kreios about when we could go back home. I blamed it on Kim and how her parents, too, missed her terribly by now. I felt caught between two total y unknowable things: my desire for everything to get back to normal as quickly as possible, and my need to reset and find out how to be who I needed to be from now on.

I asked Kreios about the Seer, and he didn't real y say much. Stan had escaped and Kreios had been worried about me-so he flew straight home to check up on me instead of hunting down the monster. He told me that he would be leaving soon in order to be sure of a few things, wrap up the loose ends. I guessed that meant that we stil had to be careful and stay hidden until Kreios could force an end to al of it. I didn't try to push my luck with him. I knew he would just tel me that I needed more training.

Kim walked into the kitchen around 10:30, changing our conversation and giving Kreios the cue he was looking for to leave. He said he wouldn't be long, and to stay on the property.

Kim and I had a decently normal conversation, considering everything that had happened. Kim was somebody who could do smal talk, and with a vengeance. Once she had got her fil of the usual breakfast fare-except that this food tasted so much better-we decided to take a walk.

We ended up fol owing a trail I hadn't explored yet, which was nice, because the other ones were haunted for me by Michael's ghost.

The trail led up into a thick forest of quaking aspens that were holding onto the last of their bright orange leaves. Their chalky white trunks and branches were a feast for the eyes. It was an Indian summer kind of day; autumn, but warm. The trail took us through the trees and ended abruptly at the top of a cliff, probably forty feet tal , that overlooked a little mountain lake. We could see fish jumping occasional y, making silvery splashes and ripples in the placid surface.

We decided to sit down, each of us 'pul ing up a rock,' to soak up the rays. The sun was high in the sky, deep azure blue contrasted sharply against bil owing white clouds. I thought about my mom and dad again. It was ripping me apart that they were worried sick about me, and I felt like it was within my power to go to them-it fil ed me with guilt. I wasn't a prisoner, not anymore. I could just grab the keys to the Yukon and be done with it.

The only thing that kept me from going was that nagging feeling that I would do to my family what I already had done to Kim. Indirectly, sure, but stil . If it wasn't for me, Kim would never have been taken hostage and used as bait.

Then again, if it wasn't for Michael...

"What is the great angel thinking about now?" Kim asked as she lay on her back on a huge granite boulder, sunning herself like a lizard.

"Oh, Mom and Dad," I lied halfway. "I miss them." Echoes of the hurt Michael had caused, along with my ebbing feelings for him, faded into the background as I forced myself to talk about something else. "And I miss my own bed and my own room. I think I won't be graduating this year; missed too many cla.s.ses."

Kim shrugged. "No worries. You're smart enough." I wasn't sure I agreed with Kim's att.i.tude. "Besides, Kreios can teach you anything you ever wanted to know. He's like what, four thousand years old?"

"Something like that. I hope this'l al be over soon. I don't know how much more I can take. We've gotta get you back, too-"

"No way. This is the best vacation I've ever had."

I knew she was lying for me. Trying to ease the pressure.

"Besides," she continued, "until Stan is caught, we're safest here. Kreios has something cooking, I can tel ." Her hands brushed away a bug that had found its way up to her cheek. I closed my eyes and tried to not think, tried not to worry. It was nice, anyway, to just lie stil in the sun on a big rock. I decided to enjoy the moment.

"So what ever happened with James after we went missing?" I was curious. I hadn't thought of him at al , but I remembered that Kim had a huge crush on him.

"Oh, James," She sighed. "He took me out one time after, but something was not the same. He was like a shel of what he used to be. He missed Michael, and I think he took it very bad. He never talked much to begin with, but this was different. It was kinda pathetic, real y. I felt like al he could think about was Michael. I just let it go; I didn't want to be around someone who was so down al the time."

"Wel , they were best friends." I wondered if James knew who Michael real y was. I doubted it; he didn't seem to let anyone in, even me.

"Whatever, though," I said, trying hard again to relax and just enjoy the moment. I closed my eyes and lay my head back. It was a lazy day, and nothing to do but watch it amble on past, like an old man with a cane. It was weird, like I could hear the footsteps of the old man in my head, shuffling past in the dirt.

When I realized what the sound real y was, it was far too late to do anything about it.

"Hel o, Airel. Did you miss me?"