Bad Boy's Baby Part 58

It was idiotic to envy a tube of lipstick, but the girl had me hard up for anything. A smile. A sigh. Any sign she wasn't going to ignore what happened between us.

"Going out?" I asked.

"Yep."

"With who?"

She shrugged. "A couple girlfriends. Nothing important. Need a chance to get out of the house."

And away from me. I crossed my arms. The headache faded in her presence, and her touch was the sort of balm I'd apply directly to the forehead-and everywhere else.

If she'd just look at me.

If she'd take the f.u.c.king chance to think about what might have started.

Sure, I f.u.c.ked it up in the beginning-built the inferno before we gathered the kindling. But stepping backwards was harder than getting her into the sheets.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Lost your job. Douche-bag advisor. Graduation delays?" Listing her insecurities was probably a bad idea. Too bad I was her biggest one. "f.u.c.king me."

Her compact snapped shut. She closed her eyes. "Zach."

"You enjoyed yourself."

"That's not the point."

"What is?"

"That I need time to process what happened," she said. "I need to...figure things out."

"Why don't we do it together?"

"Because I'm not sure if there is a together, Zach. Don't you get it?" She tried to stare at my forehead instead of in my eyes. I wasn't having it. I snapped her focus to me, and her voice softened. Progress, at least. "This is all so complicated."

"It doesn't have to be."

"But it is." She stood only to grab her purse. "I came to you for comfort. Twice. And you pulled me from my problems in the best way a girl could ask. I'm grateful, Zach."

Grateful.

That wasn't what I wanted. I didn't f.u.c.k her so she could feel better about herself. I f.u.c.ked her because I couldn't imagine a world where I wasn't inside of her, feeling her, experiencing her.

This woman was rapidly becoming the center of my G.o.dd.a.m.ned universe and she didn't even realize it. Worse, telling her would only ruin every chance I had.

But what if I needed to be f.u.c.king comforted?

My expression twisted. Shay backpedaled, but my disgust didn't aim for her.

What the h.e.l.l was wrong with me? So I got a f.u.c.king headache. Since when did I whine about it to the one woman I was trying to impress?

What did I think would happen? She'd listen? She'd care?

Shay couldn't figure her own s.h.i.+t out. I wasn't dropping mine on her too. Revealing any of my shame would blow my shot with her. I didn't need her to help me feel better. I wasn't a d.a.m.ned child.

Besides, she wasn't ready to talk to me. Why would I unload on her? Obviously she didn't trust me yet.

Christ, that hurt worse than the headache.

Didn't matter. She was scared. It wasn't worth fighting and frightening her more. If she wanted s.p.a.ce, she'd get it. If she wanted f.u.c.ked...

My c.o.c.k stirred as she bent to grab her shoes.

There it was. Back from its f.u.c.king slumber.

That was a scare I didn't need. The headache pulsed harder, but at least if Shay wanted comfort again, I'd give it. Then maybe she's realize what a f.u.c.king mistake she made by not letting me actually help.

I surrendered. I needed a nap and a stiff drink. I waved a hand.

"Have a good time," I said. "I won't wait up."

"Didn't ask you to."

No, she hadn't. Whatever.

I turned, but she called to me before I made it to the door.

"Zach?"

"Yeah?"

She twisted her purse in her hands. Her curls bobbed, and her almond eyes widened.

"Never mind," she said. "It's nothing."

I didn't believe her, but I wasn't arguing. I nodded and let her dress in peace.

The headache kicked my a.s.s. I crashed in my room as it s.h.i.+fted from annoying to agonizing.

If I had told her about the pain, she probably would have stayed.

I wasn't ready for that pity-party yet. I'd sort out my own problems first before heaping them on a girl who filled a thirty-five thousand square foot mansion with her own troubles. No sense scaring off the best thing that happened to me since the injury. I was lucky enough to be alive. Now, I was lucky that she let me comfort her.

If only she'd let me do more.

Chapter Fourteen Shay.

The fruity drink stashed more umbrellas in the goblet than alcohol. Zach made a better martini though he'd sooner toss a couple olives in a bottle of vodka and call it a day. I liked his style.

And I think I was starting to prefer his company.

Azariah didn't notice that my drink still sloshed with the peachy-strawberry mixture. She ordered another and waved to the three late-comers to our gals night out. Layna, Heaven, and Nikkole screeched their h.e.l.los and bounded to our table.

Layna flicked her manicured fingernails-complete with blue gems imbedded in the paint-at the pa.s.sing waitress. "Cosmo and a water, thanks." She scooted into the booth and pulled down her oversized sungla.s.ses. Her dark eyes scolded me with a single glance. "Girl, how'd you p.i.s.s off Sweeten that bad?"

Azariah mouthed a silent apology and scrunched her nose. She pretended to pa.s.s a menu to Heaven though Nikkole wasn't having any fries or any of my excuses.

"Know what you do?" Nikkole said. "You take all that money your daddy left you, and you buy yourself new a hairdo and find a man."

Nikkole had a bad habit of picking my greatest insecurity and blabbing it loud enough for everyone around to hear. The rumble of conversations quieted as she waved a hand over my outfit.

"Look at this s.h.i.+t. b.u.t.ton up blouse? Knee-length skirt? Christ, Shay. Let the girls get some air. Plenty of fine looking men on campus would be willing to play teacher with you."

Heaven studied the menu, dispa.s.sionately. She cracked her gum and twirled a finger around her curls, interrupting the conversation in her usual style. "I'm getting a salad."

We ignored her. Azariah and Layna usually agreed with Nikkole, but Azariah had the tact to phrase it better.

"You're better than this stress, Shay," Azariah said. "Go buy yourself some fancy clothes, a new car. h.e.l.l, travel to Europe. What do you need school for?"

I shrugged, sipping my drink instead of answering. It wasn't about the money. It was about what I wanted to do, how I wanted to help people.

"She needs to get laid," Layna said. "Sit on some big ol' c.o.c.k and forget all her troubles."

Nikkole snickered. "But Azariah said-"

Azariah cleared her throat, pus.h.i.+ng her drink at Nikkole. "Here. Take this. Shove something in that fat mouth of yours."

Oh, Christ. She didn't. I stared at her. "You told them?"

Heaven still flipped through the menu. She arched an eyebrow. "That you're banging your brother? Way to go."

"I'm not-"

Banging him? I stopped myself, but that didn't make the words any less true.

It was twice now. Twice I spent the greatest nights of my life in his arms, cuddled to his chest, slamming on his c.o.c.k.

I had no idea what happened last night, and so I panicked. I didn't talk to him. I didn't think about it. I didn't explain. I...froze.

And when Zach came to talk to me?

I retreated so d.a.m.n fast I was lucky I didn't fall on my a.s.s and reveal everything that clutched at my heart, fluttered in my stomach, and scared the ever-loving h.e.l.l out of me.

"He's not my brother," I said. "He's my step-brother...if it even counts since our parents are dead."

"Still f.u.c.king weird," Heaven grumbled.

"Heav, shut your mouth." Azariah threatened her with a drink umbrella. "It was only once. She didn't know who he was."

I took another swig. It wasn't as casual as I thought. I should have stood in the booth, crashed my gla.s.s to the floor, and shouted to the ma.s.ses Incest is Best!

"Oh, s.h.i.+t, Shay," Azariah said. "You didn't."

"It's not like that."

"You f.u.c.ked your brother again?"

"Really, it's not-"

Nikkole snorted. "I told you to live a little, girl."

"Can we not talk about this?" I asked. "Please?"

Wasn't going to happen. My friends cackled with the great and juiciest piece of gossip since Nikkole's brother accidentally knocked up his girlfriend and her best friend-at the same time.

Well, they weren't getting any details about my night. I needed to figure out what happened before I could explain it to them. They didn't know Zach.

Yes, he was s.e.xy, but he was also the type who knew it.

Yes, he was a man-wh.o.r.e, but he sounded so sincere when he rea.s.sured me.

Yes, he was my step-brother, but we didn't grow up together. Our parents only married a short time ago, and we were two consenting adults.

My friends waited for the dirty details, but the person I should have talked to waited for me at home. He was probably looking for an explanation...or a sequel to last night's events. And the way my body still buzzed? He'd get both.

But I expected him to make a fuss when I brushed him off. Zach usually fought to the death over a choice of pizza toppings. p.i.s.sing me off was his favorite d.a.m.n sport. He came to me, and I freaked, but instead of calling me out on it-like he did everything else-he said he...wouldn't wait up?

The hollow exhaustion in his voice pitted my stomach more than the judgmental glances that pa.s.sed between my friends.

Maybe Zach...didn't care?

"Are you still graduating? Shay?" Layna drew my attention. "If you aren't student teaching, can you finish school?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"What about your party?"

Seriously? Professor Sweeten ripped my heart out, and they worried about the d.a.m.n graduation party?

"I don't know."