Kilo. Part 23

"Let me have a look at that book," he said.

Eliph' picked up the book and tucked it under his arm.

"And at that minute came the cry of 'Fire!'" he said. "And I thought of poor Bill Rossiter up there on the third floor, shut off from all hope of rescue-----"

Skinner reached down to his cash drawer and pulled it open. He took out a dollar bill and held it toward Eliph'. The book agent ignored it.

"Think of it," he said. "Bill Rossiter on the third floor, burning up, and me on the floor below with this book in my hand reading off of page 418 the names of the simple ingredients that would----"

"Mebby I might as well pay the whole five right now," said Skinner, taking four more dollars out of his drawer. "Could you leave that book with me?"

"I will, as a special favor," said Eliph'.

"Well, say," said Skinner, "I'll be mortally obliged to you if you will.

It will take a mighty load off of my mind."

And when Eliph' left the butcher shop he had, for the first time in his life, sold his sample copy.

CHAPTER XVIII. Another Trial

When Eliph' stepped out of the butcher shop he saw T. J. Jones across the street, returning from his interview with Mrs. Smith, and the book agent hailed him and crossed the street. The editor wore a hara.s.sed look as Eliph' stepped up to him, and it deepened when Eliph' asked him if he had acceded to Mrs. Smith's request.

"Hewlitt," he said, "I couldn't do it. I wanted to, but I couldn't. The man was willing but the editor had to refuse. The press cannot sink the public welfare to favor individuals; once the freedom of the press is lost the nation relapses into sodden corruption. I told Mrs. Smith so.

And besides, I have the whole article in type, too. I like Mrs. Smith, and I like Miss Sally, but the hissing cobra of corruption must be crunched beneath the heel of a free and independent press. The TIMES must do its duty, let the chips fall where they may."

"'The pen is mightier than the sword,' page 233, Apt Quotations for All Occasions," said Eliph', "this being one of three thousand quotations, arranged alphabetically according to subject, as 'Bird--in the hand, Bird--of a feather, Bird--killing two with one stone,' et cetery, including 'Leap--look before you,' and 'Sure--be sure you're right, then go ahead.' What do you mean to print?"

The editor told him all he had been able to gather regarding the matte of the fire-extinguishers, and as he talked Eliph' saw the butcher leave his shop and enter the drug store--he was after chemicals. He turned to the editor with fresh a.s.surance.

"See page 88, 'Every Man his Own Lawyer,'" he said, "giving all that it is necessary for any man to know regarding the laws of his native land, including laws of business, how to draw up legal papers, what const.i.tutes libel, et cetery. This one division alone being worth the whole cost of the book, showing among other things what a paper should print and what it should not. Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art is a marvelous work, including as it does the chapter on 'Fire--Its Traditions--How to Make a Fire Without Matches--Fire Fighting--Fire Extinguishers, How Made,' et cetery, containing directions by which man, woman or butcher can convert lung-testers into approved fire-extinguishers at a cost of only twenty-six cents. It is a good book. I just sold Mr. Skinner one."

He watched the editor's face as the meaning of his words dawned on it, and added:

"Miss Briggs has a copy, morocco binding, including among ten thousand and one subjects 'What Const.i.tutes Libel.'"

"Then those fire-extinguishers will be all right, after all?" said the editor. "You want to look out how you trifle with the press. The press never forgives nor forgets."

"Those lung-testers, prepared according to Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, would put out the flames of the fiery furnace prepared for Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego, mentioned in 'Bible Tales,' Condensed and Put into Words of One Syllable for Children,' page 569, Jarby's Encyclopedia," said Eliph'

airily. "They would satisfy an investigation committee of imps, or other experts."

The editor thought for a minute and Eliph' looked at him and smiled, gently combing his whiskers with his fingers.

"That's all right," said the editor. "That lets Miss Sally out, and it may satisfy Skinner, but it don't do away with the bribery. Mayor St.i.tz was bribed and he admits it. He says he was, and he brags about it.

Guthrie bribed him, and I've got enough left to give St.i.tz and Guthrie a good shot. I'll leave Skinner and Miss Briggs out, but I'll go for St.i.tz and Guthrie. I'll show them that in Kilo the press is alert, wide awake, and not to be trifled with. I'll teach them a lesson."

"So do!" said Eliph'. "And make Miss Sally mad. And make Mrs. Smith mad.

And make Miss Susan mad. And me. So do, and have Tolle tell them that he did not want you to print it, and that he went up and fought you to get you not to print it. So do, and instead of having Miss Sally and Mrs.

Smith and me your friends, have us run you down to Susan. Instead of having hit Toole by printing the thing sooner than he wanted, as you did, print more, and do him a favor. Make him a favorite of Miss Sally's. So do, if you want to. Or--have me go to Miss Susan and say you will not relent but that there is one chance--that she shall plead with you herself."

He stepped back and looked at the hesitating Jones.

"Jones," he said, "the way you are acting, the way you hesitate, would tell anybody that you have not a copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, in your office.

No man who has read that book would lack wisdom, that work containing under one cover all the wisdom I the world, price five dollars, two dollars off to the press. Buy a copy and be sensible."

Jones looked far down the street toward his office as if the matter he had there standing in the galley was begging him not to desert it.

"Courts.h.i.+p--How to Make Love--How to Win the Affections--How to Hold them When Won," said Eliph'. "See Jarby's giving advice to those in love, those wis.h.i.+ng to win the affections, et cetery. 'If the object of the affections can be placed in a position where she will be compelled to ask a favor, the granting of it, however slight, will advance the cause of the eager suitor."

"I don't care!" said T. J. Jones suddenly. "I'd lose Skinner's ad if I printed that article, and he pays cash."

"Mine too," said Eliph', "and I was just thinking of doubling it.

Jarby's deserves----"

"That's all right," said the editor, with a sigh of relief. "You needn't have Miss Susan come begging me. Just tell her I gave up printing the article because you said she wouldn't like it."

"Don't throw away a chance," urged Eliph' putting a hand on the young man's arm. "Be wise. Do as Jarby's says. Be urged. I followed Jarby's advice."

"Why are you--are you, too?" asked T. J., beaming upon him.

Eliph' coughed behind his hand.

"Yes," he said, "Miss Briggs. I followed Jarby's advice--and won."

"Congratulations!" said the editor. "Have it your own way then. I'll be at Miss Sally's after supper, if Sue wants to coax."

They parted, and as Eliph' walked happily toward his boarding house he did not realize that he had not won, nor that his appeal had been rejected by Miss Sally, for he had regained his faith in Jarby's and if he had not yet won, he felt that he would, and that was the same thing.

After his supper Eliph' felt that the time had come to arrange things with Miss Sally. There was no longer any cause for delay. He had arranged the matter of the fire-extinguishers; he had settled the matter of the TIMES, and he felt that Skinner and the Colonel must have hurt by their actions their causes with Miss Sally. They had, indeed, far more than Eliph' guessed. He repaired to his room and brushed his whiskers carefully. Never had he appeared smarter than when he went out of the gateless opening in Doc Weaver's fence, and turned his face toward Miss Sally's home.

His way led him pas the mayor's little car, where St.i.tz was on his platform smoking and evening pipe. The mayor halted him with a motion of his pipe stem.

"Mister Hewlitt," he said, "you know too that joke, yes? About those lung-testers was not fire-extinguishers?"

"That's all right," said Eliph', seeking to pa.s.s on, "It is all fixed up now. They ARE fire-extinguishers."

"Such a fool business on Skinner," said the mayor with enjoyment. "And on St.i.tz, too. I thinks me I am the boss grafter, and I ain't!"

He chuckled.

"No-o!" he said cheerfully. "But next times I makes no more such fool mistakes; I make me a real boss grafter. I am now only a boss-fool, but boss grafter. So says Attorney Toole. Money is grafts, and houses and lots is grafts, and horses is grafts, and buggies, but," and he paused impressively, "apples isn't, and potatoes isn't, and peas isn't, and chickens isn't. Nothing to eat is grafts. If it is to eat it is not grafts. So says Attorney Toole. Things to eat is no more grafts as lung-tester is fire-extingables. So says Toole. So n.o.body won't prosecute me. I stick me to the mayor business yet a while. Klops on the head is nothings much; all big men gets them. So says Attorney Toole."

Skinner was locking his shop when Eliph' pa.s.sed, and the stopped Eliph'

too.