Uprising: A Collide Novel Part 34

"Why? Why would you do that? After everything we've been through, why this? Why now?"

"What?" I repeated because no other word would come to mind.

"You heard me, Sherry," he growled and it was all I could do to not burst in tears right there out just hearing his tone alone.

He has never raised his voice or spoken to me with anything but love and concern. It seems a lot of us are going through a raised-voice spurt these days. But this? He sounds cold and hurt. But I really have no idea what he's talking about. As I think about it, the more I stay silent the guiltier I look so I hurriedly speak.

"Merrick. I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes. You do. I saw you," he said tightly.

"You saw me? You saw me what?"

"Kissing Cain, in the hall earlier."

"What! I was in the hall with Cain earlier but I absolutely was not kissing him!"

"I saw you!" he yelled back.

I run through my mind. Me sitting with Cain, then hugging Cain, Cain smelling my hair in drunken stupefied arousal. Maybe that looked like kissing from the back side of me. It's all I could come up with.

"I hugged Cain, in the hall, like I always do. He was really upset for Lillian and feeling guilty for not being here. Maybe it looked like something it wasn't from behind me but-"

"I saw you! With my own eyes. Not some skewed view of you. You and him! Kissing and wrapped around each other, and about to do plenty more, for everyone that came looking to see!"

"Merrick," I squeaked. Was I drugged? Did I and just didn't remember? Was Merrick drugged? "I didn't! I promise you, I have no idea how you could have seen me do that. I didn't kiss him!"

He stepped forward slightly, pus.h.i.+ng off the wall, clinching his fist. I'd never ever seen him direct any anger of any kind at me and I was...terrified. Not that he'd physically hurt me, but that he could not want me anymore. For some reason, that thought had never crossed my mind until now.

"Enough! There's no point in lying about it anymore," he spurted loudly and then pushed me slightly, forcing me backwards by holding my arms until my back touched the wall.

He braced his hands on the wall by my head, caging me in and I was wondering if I needed to retract the 'not that he'd physically hurt me' thought. I was scared. I scrambled for a reasonable reply as the tears started to fall.

"Am I lying? Can't you tell?" I replied softly.

He wavered for a second. I saw that maybe he could tell I wasn't lying but wasn't ready to give up yet. Somehow, he was convinced I had kissed Cain and as human eyes go, you believe what you see.

"I said enough. I wasn't the only one to witness it. Piper and Polly came and got me. Said there was something I needed to see. Something about you. They were with me in the hall when I found you there. Together," he gritted his teeth at the word.

Then he cursed loudly and banged his fists on the wall by my head, making me squeak in surprise, before backing away from me.

I couldn't believe how angry he was, and at me no less. I thought real hard about what could be going on. I moved a little closer, seeing his face twisted in anger and hurt, wanting to comfort him. He stepped back.

"Don't. Don't, Sherry. You think I'll just cave under your hugs and kisses? I guess I always do when it comes to you, but not tonight. How could you do this? You know how much I love you. What I would do for you. Anything. Why?"

He said the last words so softly that it was almost worse than his yelling. He was just hurt now. Hurt and feeling betrayed. I wished that I could do or say something to just make this go away. I stayed put but spoke evenly and quietly.

"Merrick, look at me. You're right. After all we've been through why would I do this? Why would I do this after I've spent so much time and effort in pus.h.i.+ng away what everyone thought of me, of us, for being together just to throw all that away and be with a human after all. Why would I?"

"I saw you."

"I know you did." I forged on quickly so he wouldn't think I was confessing. "At least you think you did. But I'm telling you, right here and now, I promise you, I didn't do this. I have no reason to. You are my life. I love you more than anything. Please, believe me."

Without another word, he turned around and walked out. My Merrick. The man who came to earth to find me and be with me left me shaking, scared, crying and standing alone in the kitchen with a hole the size of Atlanta in my chest where my heart should be.

Misery Loves Company

Chapter 18 - Cain.

I woke up in the morning, at least I a.s.sumed it was morning, to a scratching on my arm. I turned to find Piper. She'd come into Lillian's room, where I still was, leaning against the wall sleeping.

"Piper?"

"Cain. You need to come with me. Sherry's really upset."

"What? What do you mean? Where's Merrick?" I drawled sleepily and yawned.

"I don't know but she looks like she really could use a friend. She's in the laundry room."

"Ok," I said reluctantly, wondering why in the world this woman I barely knew was coming to get me to console Sherry. "I'll go see to her."

"Good." Then she got up and left, just like that.

I turned to see Lillian still asleep. I braced myself on the wall to drag myself up, stretching and squinting through the aches that will surely be there all day. Sitting on the concrete floor to sleep definitely does not do a body good.

As I walk through, I see that people are out and bustling about so it must be morning. I have no idea what time I finally conked out but it was well after four o'clock.

I ponder, as I shuffle my feet in a haze, the events of the previous night. I remember feeling utterly torn while Sherry battled through her tears to tell Lillian about Mitch.e.l.l. I had the hand I needed in mine and the one I wanted was out of reach. I restrained myself. Sherry had Merrick. She always has Merrick and didn't need nor want me. But as soon as I turned to Lillian and saw her devastated and ripped up expression, it all fell away but her. I couldn't think of anything but making that pain go away and there was nothing I could do about it but wrap her up and take her away from it all.

It's so confusing. All of it. Then later in the hall, when it was just Sherry and me, I couldn't stop myself from letting the worry I felt for her take over and come out.

Stupid.

Just stupid.

If she hadn't stopped me there's no telling what I'd have done. I know what she smells like. I've dreamed about that smell an embarra.s.sing amount but I let it overtake me in my relief and worry for her and grief for Lillian. She didn't act suspicious. Probably thought I was just drunk or something. I wish I had that excuse.

It's like I'm two separate people. When I'm with Sherry, I want her. When I'm with Lillian, I want her. When I'm with them both, I can't make up my frigging mind. How did this happen? How is it possible? You can't love/like two people at once, can you?

Light bulb. I have to stay away from Sherry. No matter how much it hurts, that's all there is to it. After whatever this is that's wrong with Sherry and we get this Lighter attack resolved, that's exactly what I'll do.

It's not fair to Sherry.

It's not fair to Lillian.

And it sure isn't fair to me. To do that to myself.

I did find Sherry, in the laundry room, as Piper had said but I also saw something I didn't expect to find in the cold concrete room.

Sherry was lying on a pallet in the corner on the hard floor, using a folded towel as a pillow and an old afghan thrown over her. She was crying, as Piper had said and looked liked she'd been crying a lot.

"Sherry?" When she looked up her face twisted into a new rounds of tears as she tried to sit up. "Sherry, what's the matter? What are you doing in here?" Then realization hit me as I looked at her makes.h.i.+ft bedding. "Sherry, did you sleep in here?" I asked and moved to kneel beside her.

"Yes. I had a fight with Merrick."

This shocked me. Those two never fought and definitely not over something that would grant her being kicked out of their room, or maybe she left. That didn't sound like her. She wasn't one of those petty girls.

"What kinda fight?"

"He thinks we...he said he saw-"

She can't speak for sobs and cries and heaving. I couldn't help it. I pulled her to my chest to hug her, ground her. Finally, she got out what she was trying to say.

"Merrick thinks he saw us kissing. More than kissing, last night. I don't know what's going on."

"What?"

"He said he saw us. Piper and Polly saw us too he said." She sniffed and continued to heave her way through the words. "They came and got him, to discover us."

"But that's ludicrous. We didn't do-"

"I know!"

"Maybe they just thought we were, maybe they saw us hugging-"

"No, I already tried that defense. He said...we were wrapped around each other, pressed against the hall wall kissing and ready to...to do more. I don't think they could mistake that."

"Then what's going on here?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Merrick's voice said from behind me. I turned, unfortunately for us, with Sherry still d.a.m.nable looking in my arms to see a very p.i.s.sed off Merrick. "Piper comes to tell me that you're upset in here, that maybe I'd been too hard on you last night and I should come check on you. I should have known what I'd find."

"Merrick. This isn't what it looks like." Cursing myself over those cliche words, I extricated myself from Sherry, though it hurt to do so with her so upset and the one she wants comfort from so unwilling to give it. "I was just-"

"I can see what you were just doing, Cain."

Wow. Merrick. Is. p.i.s.sed.

Hurt. Really hurt. I guess if I had Sherry and I was sure she had been with some other guy I'd be too.

"Merrick, come on. This is me. This is Sherry. We wouldn't do that to you, man."

I stood up and Merrick straightened, crossing his arms over his chest and looking fiercely like he wanted to cause me physical pain.

"I know. That's what makes all this so bad to begin with. You, Cain, of all people. You know how much I love her. You know how much she means to me. How much I-" He stopped and his anger faltered, for a second he looked like he could burst with hurt.

"Never, Merrick," Sherry says, stands up too and takes a step forward but doesn't make a move towards him. "I'd never do that to you. You know I love you! You give me everything I need, I wouldn't do this to you."

"I don't belong here. I'll let you two work this out," I said and tried to make a break for the door but Merrick put his finger in my chest to stop me.

"No, I suggest you stay and comfort Sherry. I'll leave," he snarled and then pushed his finger just a little bit before letting it fall back down to his side.

Every military muscle in my body twitched with a need to hit something. But I stayed my ground. Hitting Merrick would solve absolutely nothing. And it was obvious he believed what he thinks he saw.

"Merrick, please," Sherry begged again desperately. I'd never seen her so distraught. "Please believe me. If you love, believe me. I didn't do this."

"Sherry, I don't think I can believe nor forgive you. One day, maybe. I have nowhere to go anyway, it's not like I can leave. I want you to admit it. Admit what you did with Cain. I don't even know how long it's been going on." He shook his head as if in defeat. "If you didn't want to be with me anymore, you should have just said-"

Without warning Sherry lunged forward and grabbed his s.h.i.+rt front, s.n.a.t.c.hing him towards her up on her toes and pulling him down to kiss him. Their lips met. He didn't pull away but he was shocked. He stood completely still for just a few seconds. I could tell, she was putting all her love, all her everything into this kiss. Like everything rode on it.

It hurt to watch, but I couldn't look away.

His hands came out to his sides but he didn't touch her. It was like he was waging an internal war, he wanted to touch her but couldn't. His fingers flexed and fist clenched and then loosened. Finally he touched her, but it was to push her away.

She almost fell back from the force behind it, and I had to stop myself from trying to catch her. I'm sure that would have gone over well.

"Stop, Sherry!" he yelled and even I flinched at the harshness in his voice. "You can't just kiss me and expect everything to be ok. What? You thought because I wasn't human you could just betray me and then try to fix it with s.e.x later and I'd just be alright with it all?" he said breathing heavy and I felt completely invisible, but utterly grateful for it.

"No! I didn't betray you. I didn't think that. I would never do that. I love you. I never stopped, and I wanted you to see that," she squeaked.

"Just stop it, Sherry. I need some time to...figure out what I'm supposed to do here. I know this isn't the first time. I know you've been together, I just don't know how long. I want nothing more than just to pretend this didn't happen, but I can't."

"Merrick-"

"Stop! It's over, Sherry. No more."

Her eyes went wide.

"It's...over?" she croaked.

"Yes." He clenched his face and then softened. "No. I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe it's this body, I don't know, but I can't get the image of you two out of my head and it's making me crazy," he growled through clenched teeth and ran his hands through his hair and down his face like he was in physical pain.

"Merrick."

"I'm going to go lie down. It was a long night. Don't follow me, Sherry," he bit out every word.

He left and Sherry crumpled back down to her pallet in a heap of sobs. I didn't think it would be appropriate after everything that just happened to comfort her again. Though I wanted to, something awful.

"I'm sorry, Sherry. We'll figure this out. There's got to be an explanation. I'll...I'll leave you alone for a while, while I go think," I said and prayed she wouldn't ask me to stay.

She didn't.

As I was walking out of the room I saw Piper walk by and peek in, slowing down as she did so. Hmmm. Then when she found Sherry on the floor, crying and crumpled she looked satisfied, a little smile even came to her lips, and she kept walking down to the commons room.