Honey on Your Mind Part 5

"I'm just asking. You know your track record."

"OK, you have a point. But for the record, no, I did not trip or fall, nor did I knock anyone over."

"It's early. You have time."

"Thank you for that. I really needed to hear that right now."

She laughed. "When can I watch it on TV?"

"Next week sometime. Wendy's having me appear live on her show to introduce the segment."

"Live? As in en vivo?"

"Live, as in en vivo."

"How do you feel about that?"

"How do you think I feel about that?"

"Knowing you, I'm guessing you're planning not to eat twenty-four hours ahead of time because you're afraid you might toss your cookies all over the stage."

I laughed. "It's scary how well you know me."

"Hey listen, I'd love to keep chatting, but I need to run. I'm getting a wart removed."

"Thanks for that visual."

"Anytime. See ya."

I was about to toss my phone into my purse when I noticed a new text from Jake: About to get on plane but wanted to congratulate you on your first day in front of the bright lights. I bet you nailed it.

Even in the midst of NBA madness, Jake hadn't forgotten that I was. .h.i.tting the streets today for the first time. I had to hand it to the guy. He knew how to make a girl smitten.

a a a The week flew by in a flurry of shopping trips, subway rides, and people watching, which sometimes bordered on outright gawking because I couldn't always bring myself to look away. So much of life played out on the city streets here, and I was absolutely fascinated. I was doing my best not to get lost on foot or enter a train headed in the wrong direction, but so far I was failing on some front at least once a day.

Finally, it was time for my big debut. I was standing, hidden from view, on the edge of the Love, Wendy stage, trying not to shake. In a few minutes, Wendy would introduce me to the studio audience for the live show being broadcast in front of millions of people. She was in the middle of interviewing the latest YouTube sensation, some farmer from Arkansas who had trained his cat to ride one of his pigs, with a little saddle and everything. The cat, currently perched on the man's head, even wore a tiny cowboy hat. At least he hadn't brought the pig with him.

"Come on, come on," I said under my breath, afraid I would lose what little nerve I had if I had to wait any longer. After the way Wendy had ambushed me the last time we'd been on live TV together, I could only imagine what she had in store for me now. I pulled my phone out of my purse and looked at a text Jake had sent me the night before, after the basketball game. Because of our schedules, it had been a couple of days since we'd been able to connect on the phone, but he knew today was the day: I have no doubt you're freaking out, but don't worry, you'll be great. You always are. Love you.

I smiled into the little screen. I love you too.

When I came out of my mini daydream, Wendy was thanking the cat guy. Then she cut to a commercial break.

The director looked at me. "OK, Waverly, you're up next."

I set my purse down and tried to smile, but my lips felt frozen, so I'm not sure how successful I was. "Thanks," I eked out weakly.

A few minutes later, the director cued the audience to applaud. Then he looked at me again and gestured for me to approach the side of the stage.

I nodded and took a step. Then out of the blue, I felt dizzy, and my stomach started lurching all over the place.

I froze, praying I wouldn't faint.

Or throw up.

Or both.

Holy freaking frick.

I took a deep breath and willed my legs to keep moving.

You can do this, Waverly.

As I neared the stage entrance, Wendy looked at the camera and flashed her beauty pageant smile. I froze again, waiting for my final cue.

"Ladies and gentleman, I'm delighted to introduce a faaabulous new addition to our show, a fun segment called Honey on Your Mind, hosted by a faaabulous woman named Waverly Bryson from San Francisco. I had the pleasure of meeting Waverly back in February when we appeared on the Today show together, and she recently agreed to move across the country just to join the Love, Wendy family! So let's give her a warm round of applause, shall we?"

She stood up and clapped, and the audience cheered along with her. I stood in my tracks until I heard the director say Go. Thank G.o.d, my legs obeyed.

Don't freak out. Don't freak out!

Hoping it wasn't obvious how rattled I was, I smiled and waved at the audience as I walked gingerly across the stage toward Wendy. She was still standing up in front of her plush couch, and when I reached her she air kissed me on both cheeks, something she'd never done before. I sat down next to her and smoothed my dress, then exhaled and interlaced my hands on my lap.

She smiled brightly, and for the first time ever, she actually looked interested in me.

"Waverly, I can't tell you how thrilled I am that you decided to join us. I just know our viewers are going to adooore Honey on Your Mind."

I smiled back. "Thanks, Wendy, I'm honored and excited to be a part of the show."

She gestured toward the audience. "Before we unveil your first segment, can you give us a little background on how Honey on Your Mind came to be? I think it's such a fun story." I'd never seen her act so friendly, at least to me.

Maybe this won't be so bad. I smiled back at her and s.h.i.+fted in my seat. "Well, it all started with a line of greeting cards I created called Honey Notes. They're all-occasion cards for women to send each other, just for fun."

"Can you give us an example?"

I nodded. "Sure. One of my favorites says, THEY SAY LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE? on the front, and the inside says, HONEY, TOSS IT IN WITH GIRLFRIENDS AND WINE, AND YOU'VE FOUND THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH."

"Oh, that's sweet," Wendy purred to the audience. "Isn't that sweet?" The audience ahhhd.

I sat up a bit straighter "But they're not all sentimental."

"They're not?"

I shook my head. "Nope, some of them are funny. For example, a popular one says, SO, HE DUMPED YOU? on the front, and the inside says, HONEY, HE WAS UGLY ANYWAY.

Wendy laughed, and then turned to the audience. "Who hasn't been there?" The audience erupted in laughter, and I wasn't sure if they were laughing at the Honey Note or Wendy's comment. But they sure seemed to be having fun, so I didn't care. Laughter was a whole lot better than silence.

Wendy looked at me again, still beaming. "So you started this fun line of greeting cards, and then what happened?"

I cleared my throat. "Well, the Honey Notes sort of took off, and then one day I got a call from the San Francisco Sun asking me if I wanted to write an advice column based on the cards. I decided to call it Honey on Your Mind, and well, fast-forward, and here we are."

She clapped her hands together. "I love it! What a faaabulous story." She looked out at the audience again. "Isn't that just faaabulous?" The audience cheered.

I smiled, finally feeling comfortable. "Thanks, Wendy."

She put her hand on my arm and winked, then turned toward the audience once more. "So what do you think, everyone? Are you ready to see what Waverly's done with Honey on Your Mind for TV?"

"Yes!" shouted the crowd.

"Are you sure?" Wendy said.

"Yes!" the audience shouted even louder.

I had no idea who this Wendy was, but there was no doubting that she was good. TV Wendy was very, very good.

"OK then, let's see it!" Wendy twirled her finger in the air and pointed behind her. An enormous flat-screen TV appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly, my smiling face came up on the screen. The first thing I noticed was that I had a huge underground zit on my forehead.

Darn.

I inhaled deeply and hoped for the best.

I also hoped no one noticed the zit. What a way to shatter a girl's confidence.

But then I was distracted by the familiar yet unfamiliar sound of my own voice.

"Hi, everyone, I'm Waverly Bryson, and I'll be hosting a semiregular feature for Love, Wendy called Honey on Your Mind. Given that I'm brand new to New York, I thought it would be great to kick off my first segment by approaching some real New Yorkers and asking them what's on their minds. Want to join me?" I pointed my thumb over my shoulder, and the camera followed me.

I walked about ten feet down the street, then proceeded to accost total strangers and ask them, literally, what was on their minds. I began each interview with this question: "Hi there, I'm Waverly Bryson from the Love, Wendy show with a new segment called Honey on Your Mind. Would you mind if I asked what's on your mind right now?"

A fun montage of the responses followed, set to a background of Willie Nelson singing "You Were Always on My Mind" as I made my way from the crowded street through the park.

Guy in suit in line for coffee: "I'm wondering why the bleep you're in my face with that bleeping microphone. Scat."

Woman in dress standing in line behind first guy: "I'm thinking, why are all the good men married? And why are the people who work at Starbucks always so freaking happy?"

Skinny guy sitting on gra.s.s: "The bleeping condom broke last night. BLEEP!"

Two girls lying on the gra.s.s: "We're thinking about how much we're loving this weather. We're supposed to be in cla.s.s right now."

Another guy in suit on park bench: "Why hasn't she replied to my text?"

Guy in jeans sitting on bench: "What's on my mind? Bacon, dude, always bacon."

Guy selling roses: "Just ten dollars a dozen, special just for you, lady. You interested?"

Obese tourists on street: "Breakfast! We just love the food in New York. Do you know where TGIFriday's is? We heard there's a huge one around here."

Disheveled woman exiting subway: "You want to know what's on my mind, Whitney or Wanda or whatever you said your name is? Why do idiots shove themselves into the subway car while everyone else is still trying to get off? That's what's on my mind. What the freaking h.e.l.l is wrong with people?" She stormed off.

By the time I finished the last interview, the background music had changed to the cla.s.sic "Super Freak" by Rick James, which got louder as the segment ended. The entire studio audience was laughing, and some of them were even dancing in their seats. The camera panned back to me, and I signed off with the following: "So there you have it, my new friends, a taste of what's on the minds of some real New Yorkers, who are apparently unconcerned with the ramifications of sharing their most intimate thoughts with a national TV audience. I'm already looking forward to our next segment as I continue to get to know this great city. Wendy, back to you!" I smiled and pointed at the camera.

The screen went black, and the crowd erupted in applause. I could feel my cheeks go bright red, but I felt happy and incredibly relieved. That was actually pretty good.

Wendy smiled and put her hand on my knee. "Waverly, that was just fabulous." Then she looked out at the audience. "Am I right? Isn't she faaabulous?"

"Yes!" shouted the audience.

"Should we bring her back for more?"

"Yes!" they shouted again.

Wendy turned back to me and beamed. "Well, my love, it looks like I'm not your only fan. I can't wait to see what you do for us next."

"Thanks, Wendy." I couldn't help but smile back at her. She seemed so sincere, so genuine.

Did she really like it?

Does she really like me?

Maybe I was wrong about her.

We broke for a commercial, and I glanced down for just a moment to take off my microphone.

When I looked back up, Wendy was gone.

a a a "Well?" What did you think? Be honest." I could feel myself make an anxious face into the phone.

"It was awesome."

"Really?"

"Really. Well done, dearie."

I felt my whole body relax as I walked toward my apartment. "Thanks, Andie. You have no idea how happy you just made me."

"It was great. You made your hometown proud."

"I'm so glad the audience laughed. I was totally afraid that when they ran the tape there'd be nothing but silence in response...a deafening silence that screamed You suck, Waverly!"

She laughed. "Please. It was very entertaining, and the music was hilarious. What did that Wendy woman think about it?"

I shrugged. "You saw as much as I did. The second we broke for a commercial, she jetted off to G.o.d knows where, so I didn't talk to her before I left. It was sort of weird, actually. I thought she would have said something."

"She seemed to love it. She seemed to love you as well, which was odd given how she acted on the Today show."

"I know. That's why I'm keeping my guard up."

"What did Scotty say about it?"