A Place to Rest Part 23

"But what's between Jori and me really isn't your business."

"Fine. But if you want it to stay that way, keep it out of my restaurant." Without waiting for a response, Erica stalked toward the kitchen.

* 189 *

Sawyer walked to the window and stared out. After several silent moments, she drew a deep breath and turned back toward Jori.

"I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay."

"No. It's not. But it's squashed for now."

Jori crossed to her and touched her shoulder. "I'm going home. Would you like to come with me?" It was obvious she wouldn't be spending the night there, and she sensed that Sawyer wanted some distance from Erica. Having her constantly on the premises now, instead of safely at Brady and Paige's, would strain Sawyer enough.

"You know, this kind of killed the mood for me."

"Sawyer, we don't have to have s.e.x. I'm just offering an alternative to staying here tonight. It's up to you whether you take it."

Her words seemed to reach Sawyer. She took Jori in her arms and pressed her face into Jori's hair for a second before she spoke. "That sounds good. Thank you."

Jori rubbed Sawyer's back. "I'd like to talk to Erica. If you want to grab some things while I do, then we can take off."

"This is between Erica and me. You don't have to-"

"This involves me." Jori stroked the side of Sawyer's jaw.

"I appreciate you trying to protect me. But she's my boss. I'm in it, too."

"Okay."

When Sawyer headed for the bedroom, Jori took a breath and walked into the kitchen. Erica stood at the counter dunking a tea bag into a steaming mug.

Jori wasn't confrontational and normally would try to fi nd a way to escape this situation. But allowing her personal life to interfere with her professional wasn't an option. She'd learned those lessons the hard way. "Erica, can we talk?"

She waited, but Erica didn't respond. Instead, she draped the bag against the back of the spoon and wrapped the string around * 190 *

it. As the silence stretched, she dropped the spoon onto a nearby saucer and carefully lifted the mug.

Deciding Erica wasn't going to speak, Jori made another attempt. "I didn't mean for-"

"I tried to warn you."

"I think you underestimate her." Jori had come into the kitchen hoping to preserve her relations.h.i.+p with her employer, but instead she found herself wanting to defend Sawyer.

"How long have you known my sister?"

"A couple of months."

"Well, I've known her my whole life. Maybe you're overestimating her. I just hate to see her keep making the same mistakes."

"And being with me is a mistake?"

"She won't commit." Erica skirted the question. "Is that really a healthy relations.h.i.+p for you?"

Jori couldn't answer. If it was true that Sawyer couldn't commit, she knew it wasn't healthy, but by now she'd convinced herself that it didn't matter. What they had right now was good, and she wouldn't relinquish the time they had even if it was guaranteed to end. But she knew she harbored a hope in a corner of her heart that it wouldn't end-that this time Sawyer wouldn't leave, that she would be the one Sawyer couldn't leave.

"Jori, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

As an employee, your personal life is not my business. But I don't think of you as just an employee. I can't say this enough-I don't want to see you get hurt. And I think you're a good fi t at Drake's.

So I hope she keeps her word when all this is over."

"You want her to leave?"

Erica laughed humorlessly. "It's not about what I want. It's about what's best for my business."

Shouldn't it be about what's best for your sister? For your family? The fact that Erica was her boss kept Jori from replying aloud. And when Sawyer came into the kitchen, Jori no longer needed to come up with a suitable response.

* 191 *

"Are you ready?" Sawyer didn't look at Erica, but Jori did, expecting her to say something. But Erica seemed to have found something interesting in the bottom of her cup of tea and now ignored both of them.

So, instead, Jori nodded and followed Sawyer through the apartment. Sawyer took her hand as they walked outside.

* 192 *

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN.

Maybe this wasn't a great idea. I'm not going to be very good company. We should probably have called it a night," Sawyer said fi fteen minutes later as Jori led her up the stairs to her apartment.

"We're here now. Just come in." She unlocked the door and pulled Sawyer inside. Sawyer had held her hand all the way from the restaurant and released it only long enough to get out of the car when they arrived, then reclaimed it. She seemed unaware that she clung to Jori, and something about the unintentional vulnerability touched her.

She gestured across the room. "Sit. I'll be right there. Do you want something to drink?"

"Water would be good."

She grabbed two bottles from the refrigerator and joined Sawyer on the futon, then settled close and stretched her arm along the back of the cus.h.i.+on. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sawyer shrugged and stared at the bottle as she rolled it between her hands.

"Listen, Erica was out of line-"

"She wasn't wrong. I appreciate your loyalty, Jori, but I don't deserve it. I've earned my reputation."

"There must be a reason. I don't buy the short-attention-span line, so don't even bother."

* 193 *

"The truth is, I do decide pretty quickly whether things are going to work out with a woman. But it's more about what they want, than what I want."

"What do you mean?"

The plastic of the bottle crackled lightly under the pressure of Sawyer's hands. "When I was younger, I really tried to have a long-term relations.h.i.+p. I got my heart broken a few too many times before I fi gured out the score."

Jori took the bottle from Sawyer and set it on the coffee table. "Which is?"

"I'm just not the type that women fall in love with, never have been."

Jori hadn't expected this explanation. She recalled the nearly instant attraction she'd felt. She'd thought Sawyer's smile contagious and her friendliness comforting. And for Jori, that was saying something, since she was never comfortable around strangers. "You're not?"

"No. I'm not." Sawyer forced a self-effacing grin. "You know those people described as having a great personality? I'm one of those people."

"You do have a great personality. I envy how outgoing you are, and how witty."

"Sure, because you don't have to worry about being outgoing."

"What does that mean?"

"Look at you. You're gorgeous. People notice you without you even trying. I don't make the same fi rst impression. I fall back on being friendly and funny."

"You shouldn't have to 'fall back' on anything. You're a great person."

Sawyer shrugged. She knew what people saw when they looked at her, having never had any illusions about her appearance.

She'd sometimes been described as cute and once as handsome, but the words that slashed through her mind when she looked * 194 *

at Jori- beautiful, stunning, breathtaking-had never applied to her.

"I have a mirror, Jori." Suddenly her surety fell away, a faade. And she hated her words, hated pointing out her own shortcomings and the weakness they revealed. She often forced the confi dence she knew women found attractive, even in uncomfortable situations, in order to draw attention from her fl aws-boring features hidden behind a pair of gla.s.ses. How could she expect to attract anyone with these looks? If she needed a reminder that she got the brains and personality in the family, she only had to look at Erica and Brady. Everyone had always told her she was the image of her dad, and he was no prize. Nothing like her mother and her sister, that was certain.

Having wanted Jori from their fi rst meeting, Sawyer prayed she couldn't see her abrupt lapse in self-a.s.surance. Suddenly she very much wanted Jori to see things in her that made her special.

"Anyway, I've gotten away from the point. When I was younger I did have a couple of serious relations.h.i.+ps. But in the end, I was a diversion while they were waiting for their soul mate."

"So somewhere along the way you convinced yourself that all women were the same, and we all wanted the same thing?"

"Well-"

"Do you think all women are shallow?"

"No, I guess not." It sounded ridiculous when Jori said it that way. Could she, without realizing it, have applied the faults of a few to all women? Certainly she'd used that as a reason to keep emotional distance, especially with Jori. She'd been so intent on seeming confi dent and a.s.sured that she'd been a complete idiot.

"Then why is it so inconceivable that someone could want to be with you, to really know you, Sawyer? But you don't let anyone close enough to give them a chance. How do you know one of the women in your past may have been good for you, but you didn't give her a real opportunity?"

* 195 *

"Are you trying to convince me to get back with one of my exes?" Sawyer tried for humor but it fell fl at.

"I want to know why you're selling yourself short. Why you run."

"You don't ask for much, do you?" Sawyer said sarcastically, aware she wasn't answering the question. "I get enough of this from Erica."

Sawyer stood and took two steps toward the door before Jori grabbed her arm. "Okay. Hold on." Jori made a mental note: Too much, too quickly. Not releasing Sawyer's arm, Jori led her to the bedroom. "I didn't mean to get you all worked up."

She unb.u.t.toned Sawyer's s.h.i.+rt and eased it off her shoulders, then released the clasp between Sawyer's b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

"I told you I wasn't going to be good company."

"Your company is just fi ne." She continued removing Sawyer's clothes and placed them neatly on the chair nearby, then gave her an old T-s.h.i.+rt. "Put this on and get in bed," she said as she changed her own clothes.

"I don't mind if you want to tell me to go," Sawyer whispered.

She wants to run. Suddenly, Jori very much wanted to know if she could convince Sawyer to fi ght that instinct and stay. She lay down and drew Sawyer's head to her chest, then sifted her fi ngers through her hair. "I don't want you to go."

Sawyer knew her body was tense with the desire to fl ee. It would feel so good to hear the door slam on her way out. Jori had ventured too close to the insecurities she had spent years carefully blanketing, and, without meaning to, Sawyer had revealed more than she usually did. But Jori's touch, the gentle caress against her scalp, distracted her.

Jori's patience lessened the frustration she usually felt when she thought about her past relations.h.i.+ps and how they'd affected her. For months after the gorgeous woman in college rejected her, she'd been embarra.s.sed to go out in public. And when she'd fi nally gotten the strength to try again with another woman, also * 196 *

beautiful, she repeated the same pattern. Things always started out smoothly, but at some point her partner would end things.

Though her lovers trotted out the usual reasons- it's not you, it's me and I'm just not ready for a relations.h.i.+p right now- something inside Sawyer withered with each new heartbreak, and she became increasingly convinced each breathtaking woman she was involved with was simply tired of looking at her drab appearance every day. And try as she might, she was stuck with it.

Eventually Sawyer decided that being the one to initiate the breakup would minimize the hurt. She determined quickly that the relations.h.i.+p didn't have long-term potential and ended it fi rst. Generally, this had been a good practice-for her. The women she rejected didn't always receive it well, though Sawyer rationalized that her percentages were pretty good. Only once had a woman screamed at her that she needed professional help.

But lying next to Jori with her wonderful hands in her hair, she could almost forget every failed attempt. She nestled closer against Jori's side and closed her eyes.

Sawyer turned off the shower and stepped out. "Thank you for last night," she called through the open bathroom door as she toweled dry.

"Anytime. Do you want some breakfast?"

"No, thanks. I'll have to run by Erica's and get the rest of my stuff. She and I need some s.p.a.ce right now."

"You can stay here, if you want to."

Sawyer stepped out of the bathroom. "Ah-I don't think-"

"I'm sorry. Forget it."