The Conflict Part 23
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If she had not been absorbed in developing her theory she might have seen that Davy was not altogether satisfied with this a.n.a.lysis of his feelings. But he deemed it wise to hold his peace.
"You do need some one--some woman," she went on. "And I am anxious to help you all I can. I couldn't help you by marrying you. To me marriage means----" She checked herself abruptly. "No matter. I can help you, I think, as a friend. But if you wish to marry, you should take some one in your own cla.s.s--some one who's in sympathy with you.
Then you and she could work it out together--could help each other.
You see, I don't need you--and there's nothing in one-sided marriages.... No, you couldn't give me anything I need, so far as I can see."
"I believe that's true," said Davy miserably.
She reflected, then continued: "But there's Jane Hastings. Why not marry her? She is having the same sort of struggle with herself. You and she could help each other. And you're, both of you, fine characters. I like each of you for exactly the same reasons....
Yes--Jane needs you, and you need her." She looked at him with her sweet, frank smile like a breeze straight from the sweep of a vast plateau. "Why, it's so obvious that I wonder you and she haven't become engaged long ago. You ARE fond of her, aren't you?"
"Oh, Selma," cried Davy, "I LOVE you. I want YOU."
She shook her head with a quaint, fascinating expression of positiveness. "Now, my friend," said she, "drop that fancy. It isn't sensible. And it threatens to become silly." Her smile suddenly expanded into a laugh. "The idea of you and me married--of ME married to YOU! I'd drive you crazy. No, I shouldn't stay long enough for that. I'd be of on the wings of the wind to the other end of the earth as soon as you tried to put a halter on me."
He did not join in her laugh. She rose. "You will think again before you go in with those people--won't you, David?" she said, sober and earnest.
"I don't care what becomes of me," he said boyishly.
"But _I_ do," she said. "I want to see you the man you can be."
"Then--marry me," he cried.
Her eyes looked gentle friends.h.i.+p; her pa.s.sionate lips curled in scorn.
"I might marry the sort of man you could be," she said, "but I never could marry a man so weak that, without me to bolster him up, he'd become a stool-pigeon."
And she turned and walked away.
V.
A few days later, after she had taken her daily two hours' walk, Selma went into the secluded part of Was.h.i.+ngton Park and spent the rest of the morning writing. Her walk was her habitual time for thinking out her plans for the day. And when it was writing that she had to do, and the weather was fine, that particular hillside with its splendid shade so restful for the eyes and so stimulating to the mind became her work-shop. She thought that she was helped as much by the colors of gra.s.s and foliage as by the softened light and the tranquil view out over hills and valleys.
When she had finished her article she consulted the little nickel watch she carried in her bag and discovered that it was only one o'clock.
She had counted on getting through at three or half past. Two hours gained. How could she best use them. The part of the Park where she was sitting was separated from the Hastings grounds only by the winding highroad making its last reach for the top of the hill. She decided that she would go to see Jane Hastings--would try to make tactful progress in her project of helping Jane and David Hull by marrying them to each other. Once she had hit upon this project her interest in both of them had equally increased. Yes, these gained two hours was an opportunity not to be neglected.
She put her papers into her shopping bag and went straight up the steep hill. She arrived at the top, at the edge of the lawn before Jane's house, with somewhat heightened color and brightened eyes, but with no quickening of the breath. Her slim, solid little body had all the qualities of endurance of those wiry ponies that come from the regions her face and walk and the careless grace of her hair so delightfully suggested. As she advanced toward the house she saw a gay company a.s.sembled on the wide veranda. Jane was giving a farewell luncheon for her visitors, had asked almost a dozen of the most presentable girls in the town. It was a very fas.h.i.+onable affair, and everyone had dressed for it in the best she had to wear at that time of day.
Selma saw the company while there was still time for her to draw back and descend into the woods. But she knew little about conventionalities, and she cared not at all about them. She had come to see Jane; she conducted herself precisely as she would have expected any one to act who came to see her at any time. She marched straight across the lawn. The hostess, the fas.h.i.+onable visitors, the fas.h.i.+onable guests soon centered upon the extraordinary figure moving toward them under that blazing sun. The figure was extraordinary not for dress--the dress was plain and unconspicuous--but for that expression of the free and the untamed, the lack of self-consciousness so rarely seen except in children and animals. Jane rushed to the steps to welcome her, seized her extended hands and kissed her with as much enthusiasm as she kissed Jane. There was sincerity in this greeting of Jane's; but there was pose, also. Here was one of those chances to do the unconventional, the democratic thing.
"What a glorious surprise!" cried Jane. "You'll stop for lunch, of course?" Then to the girls nearest them: "This is Selma Gordon, who writes for the New Day."
p.r.o.nouncing of names--smiles--bows--veiled glances of curiosity--several young women exchanging whispered comments of amus.e.m.e.nt. And to be sure, Selma, in that simple costume, gloveless, with dusty shoes and blown hair, did look very much out of place. But then Selma would have looked, in a sense, out of place anywhere but in a wilderness with perhaps a few tents and a half-tamed herd as background. In another sense, she seemed in place anywhere as any natural object must.
"I don't eat lunch," said Selma. "But I'll stay if you'll put me next to you and let me talk to you."
She did not realize what an upsetting of order and precedence this request, which seemed so simple to her, involved. Jane hesitated, but only for a fraction of a second. "Why, certainly," said she. "Now that I've got you I'd not let you go in any circ.u.mstances."
Selma was gazing around at the other girls with the frank and pleased curiosity of a child. "Gracious, what pretty clothes!" she cried--she was addressing Miss Clearwater, of Cincinnati. "I've read about this sort of thing in novels and in society columns of newspapers. But I never saw it before. ISN'T it interesting!"
Miss Clearwater, whose father was a United States Senator--by purchase--had had experience of many oddities, male and female. She also was attracted by Selma's sparkling delight, and by the magnetic charm which she irradiated as a rose its perfume. "Pretty clothes are attractive, aren't they?" said she, to be saying something.
"I don't know a thing about clothes," confessed Selma. "I've never owned at the same time more than two dresses fit to wear--usually only one. And quite enough for me. I'd only be fretted by a lot of things of that kind. But I like to see them on other people. If I had my way the whole world would be well dressed."
"Except you?" said Ellen Clearwater with a smile.
"I couldn't be well dressed if I tried," replied Selma. "When I was a child I was the despair of my mother. Most of the people in the tenement where we lived were very dirty and disorderly--naturally enough, as they had no knowledge and no money and no time. But mother had ideas of neatness and cleanliness, and she used to try to keep me looking decent. But it was of no use. Ten minutes after she had smoothed me down I was flying every which way again."
"You were brought up in a tenement?" said Miss Clearwater. Several of the girls within hearing were blus.h.i.+ng for Selma and were feeling how distressed Jane Hastings must be.
"I had a wonderfully happy childhood," replied Selma. "Until I was old enough to understand and to suffer. I've lived in tenements all my life--among very poor people. I'd not feel at home anywhere else."
"When I was born," said Miss Clearwater, "we lived in a log cabin up in the mining district of Michigan."
Selma showed the astonishment the other girls were feeling. But while their astonishment was in part at a girl of Ellen Clearwater's position making such a degrading confession, hers had none of that element in it. "You don't in the least suggest a log cabin or poverty of any kind," said she. "I supposed you had always been rich and beautifully dressed."
"No, indeed," replied Ellen. She gazed calmly round at the other girls who were listening. "I doubt if any of us here was born to what you see. Of course we--some of us--make pretenses--all sorts of silly pretenses. But as a matter of fact there isn't one of us who hasn't near relatives in the cabins or the tenements at this very moment."
There was a hasty turning away from this dangerous conversation. Jane came back from ordering the rearrangement of her luncheon table. Said Selma:
"I'd like to wash my hands, and smooth my hair a little."
"You take her up, Ellen," said Jane. "And hurry. We'll be in the dining-room when you come down."
Selma's eyes were wide and roving as she and Ellen went through the drawing-room, the hall, up stairs and into the very prettily furnished suite which Ellen was occupying. "I never saw anything like this before!" exclaimed Selma. "It's the first time I was ever in a grand house. This is a grand house, isn't it?"
"No--it's only comfortable," replied Ellen. "Mr. Hastings--and Jane, too, don't go in for grandeur."
"How beautiful everything is--and how convenient!" exclaimed Selma. "I haven't felt this way since the first time I went to the circus." She pointed to a rack from which were suspended thin silk dressing gowns of various rather gay patterns. "What are those?" she inquired.
"Dressing gowns," said Ellen. "Just to wear round while one is dressing or undressing."
Selma advanced and felt and examined them. "But why so many?" she inquired.
"Oh, foolishness," said Ellen. "Indulgence! To suit different moods."
"Lovely," murmured Selma. "Lovely!"
"I suspect you of a secret fondness for luxury," said Ellen slyly.
Selma laughed. "What would I do with such things?" she inquired.
"Why, I'd have no time to wear them. I'd never dare put on anything so delicate."
She roamed through dressing-room, bedroom, bath-room, marveling, inquiring, admiring. "I'm so glad I came," said she. "This will give me a fresh point of view. I can understand the people of your cla.s.s better, and be more tolerant about them. I understand now why they are so hard and so indifferent. They're quite removed from the common lot.
They don't realize; they can't. How narrow it must make one to have one's life filled with these pretty little things for luxury and show.
Why, if I lived this life, I'd cease to be human after a short time."
Ellen was silent.
The Conflict Part 23
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The Conflict Part 23 summary
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