The Life of Trust Part 15

I. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James i. 17. As the increase of faith is a good gift, it must come from G.o.d, and therefore he ought to be asked for this blessing.

II. The following means, however, ought to be used: 1. _The careful reading of the word of G.o.d, combined with meditation on it._ Through reading of the word of G.o.d, and especially through meditation on the word of G.o.d, the believer becomes more and more acquainted with the nature and character of G.o.d, and thus sees more and more, besides his holiness and justice, what a kind, loving, gracious, merciful, mighty, wise, and faithful being he is, and, therefore, in poverty, affliction of body, bereavement in his family, difficulty in his service, want of a situation or employment, he will repose upon the _ability_ of G.o.d to help him, because he has not only learned from his word that he is of almighty power and infinite wisdom, but he has also seen instance upon instance in the Holy Scriptures in which his almighty power and infinite wisdom have been actually exercised in helping and delivering his people; and he will repose upon the _willingness_ of G.o.d to help him, because he has not only learned from the Scriptures what a kind, good, merciful, gracious, and faithful being G.o.d is, but because he has also seen in the word of G.o.d, how in a great variety of instances he has proved himself to be so. And the consideration of this, if _G.o.d has become known to us through prayer and meditation on his own word_, will lead us, in general at least, with a measure of confidence to rely upon him: and thus the reading of the word of G.o.d, together with meditation on it, will be one especial means to strengthen our faith.

2. As, with reference to the growth of every grace of the Spirit, it is of the utmost importance that we seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience, and, therefore, do not knowingly and habitually indulge in those things which are contrary to the mind of G.o.d, so it is also particularly the case with reference to the _growth in faith_. How can I possibly continue to act faith upon G.o.d, concerning anything, if I am habitually grieving him, and seek to detract from the glory and honor of him in whom I profess to trust, upon whom I profess to depend? All my confidence towards G.o.d, all my leaning upon him in the hour of trial, will be gone, if I have a guilty conscience, and do not seek to put away this guilty conscience, but still continue to do things which are contrary to the mind of G.o.d. And if, in any particular instance, I cannot trust in G.o.d, because of the guilty conscience, then my faith is weakened by that instance of distrust; for faith with every fresh trial of it either increases by trusting G.o.d, and thus getting help, or it decreases by not trusting him; and then there is less and less power of looking simply and directly to him, and a habit of self-dependence is begotten or encouraged. One or other of these will always be the case in each particular instance. Either we trust in G.o.d, and in that case we neither trust in ourselves, nor in our fellow-men, nor in circ.u.mstances, nor in anything besides; or we DO trust in one or more of these, and in that case do NOT trust in G.o.d.

3. If we, indeed, desire our faith to be strengthened, we should not shrink from opportunities where our faith may be tried, and, therefore, through the trial, be strengthened. In our natural state we dislike dealing with G.o.d alone. Through our natural alienation from G.o.d we shrink from him, and from eternal realities. This cleaves to us more or less, even after our regeneration. Hence it is that, more or less, even as believers, we have the same shrinking from standing with G.o.d alone, from depending upon him alone, from looking to him alone; and yet this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we wish our faith to be strengthened. The more I am in a position to be tried in faith with reference to my body, my family, my service for the Lord, my business, etc., the more shall I have opportunity of seeing G.o.d's help and deliverance; and every fresh instance in which he helps and delivers me will tend towards the increase of my faith. On this account, therefore, the believer should not shrink from situations, positions, circ.u.mstances, in which his faith may be tried, but should cheerfully embrace them as opportunities where he may see the hand of G.o.d stretched out on his behalf, to help and deliver him, and whereby he may thus have his faith strengthened.

4. The last important point for the strengthening of our faith is, that we let G.o.d work for us, when the hour of the trial of our faith comes, and do not work a deliverance of our own. Wherever G.o.d has given faith, it is given, among other reasons, for the very purpose of being tried.

Yea, however weak our faith may be, G.o.d will try it; only with this restriction, that as, in every way, he leads us on gently, gradually, patiently, so also with reference to the trial of our faith. At first, our faith will be tried very little in comparison with what it may be afterwards; for G.o.d never lays more upon us than he is willing to enable us to bear. Now, when the trial of faith comes, we are naturally inclined to distrust G.o.d, and to trust rather in ourselves, or in our friends, or in circ.u.mstances. We will rather work a deliverance of our own, somehow or other, than simply look to G.o.d and wait for his help.

But if we do not patiently wait for G.o.d's help, if we work a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our faith it will be thus again, we shall be again inclined to deliver ourselves; and thus, with every fresh instance of that kind, our faith will decrease; whilst, on the contrary, were we to stand still in order to see the salvation of G.o.d, to see his hand stretched out on our behalf, trusting in him alone, then our faith would be increased, and with every fresh case in which the hand of G.o.d is stretched out on our behalf in the hour of the trial of our faith, our faith would be increased yet more. Would the believer, therefore, have his faith strengthened, he must, especially, _give time to G.o.d_, who tries his faith in order to prove to his child, in the end, how willing he is to help and deliver him, the moment it is good for him.

I now return, dear reader, to the Narrative, giving you some further information with reference to the seventeen months from Dec. 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, as it respects the Orphan Houses, and other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution for Home and Abroad, besides the facts of which mention has been already made.

During this period, also, 1. Two Sunday schools were entirely supported by the funds of the Inst.i.tution. 2. There were two adult schools, one for females, and one for males, entirely supported during these seventeen months, in which on two evenings of the week the males, and on two evenings the females, were instructed, quite gratuitously, in reading and writing, and were furnished with books and writing materials gratuitously. There were, during these seventeen months, 344 adults taught in these two schools, and on May 10, 1842, the number under instruction amounted to 110. 3. There were, during these seventeen months, also six day schools entirely supported by the funds of the Inst.i.tution, three for boys and three for girls. On May 10, 1842, the number of the children who attended these day schools was 363; and the total number who, from the formation of the Inst.i.tution, March 5, 1834, up to May 10, 1842, had been instructed in the day schools, which are supported by the funds of the Inst.i.tution, amounts to 2,616. 4. During these seventeen months, 798 copies of the Holy Scriptures were circulated, and from the commencement of the Inst.i.tution, up to May 10, 1842, 6,842 copies. 5. During these seventeen months was spent for missionary purposes the sum of 126, 15s. 3d. of the funds of the Inst.i.tution, whereby a.s.sistance was rendered to the work of G.o.d in Jamaica, in Australia, in Canada, and in the East Indies. 6. At the commencement of these seventeen months, _i. e._ on Dec. 10, 1840, a new object was begun, the circulation of such publications as may be beneficial, with the blessing of G.o.d, to both unbelievers and believers.

We laid out for this object during these seventeen months the sum of 62, 17s. 4d., for which 22,190 such little publications were purchased, and of which number 19,609 were actually given away. 7. There were received into the three Orphan Houses 15 orphans, who, together with those who were in the houses on Dec. 10, 1840, make up 106 in all. Of these, five girls were sent out to service, two boys and one girl were apprenticed, one girl was removed by a lady who had placed her for a time under our care, and one was sent back to his relations, as he was injurious to the other children.

There were on May 10, 1842, 96 orphans in the three houses, _i. e._ 30 in the Girls' Orphan House, 37 in the Infant Orphan House, and 29 in the Boys' Orphan House. Besides this, three apprentices were supported by the funds of the Inst.i.tution; so that the total number was 99. The number of orphans who were under our care from April, 1836, to May 10, 1842, amounts to 144.

I notice further, in connection with the Orphan Houses, that, _without any one having been asked for anything by me_, the sum of 5,276, 14s.

8d. was given to me from the beginning of the work up to May 10, 1842, _as the result of prayer to G.o.d_.

The total of the expenditure for the various objects of the Inst.i.tution, exclusive of the Orphan Houses, during these seventeen months, amounted to 710, 11s. 5d.; the total of the income amounted to 746, 1s. 0d.

The total of the expenditure for the three Orphan Houses, from Dec. 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, amounted to 1,337, 15s. 2d.; the total of the income amounted to 1,339, 13s. 7d.

CHAPTER XV.

PROSPERITY.

1842-1843.

ABUNDANT SUPPLIES--RESTING ON THE WRITTEN WORD--"SEEKING AND FINDING"--ERRONEOUS IMPRESSIONS REMOVED--PERSEVERING AND PREVAILING PRAYER ANSWERED--"LENGTHENING THE CORDS AND STRENGTHENING THE STAKES"--A FOURTH ORPHAN HOUSE.

June 3, 1842. For several days past I had not been particularly led to pray for means for the orphans. Last evening, however, I did so, as we had now again no money in hand, there having come in only ten pounds two s.h.i.+llings twopence during the last five days; and in answer to my request two pounds nineteen s.h.i.+llings sixpence came in this morning.

For several months succeeding the last date, means continued to flow in, without interruption, as they were needed. There was no excess of means, nor was there any lack. On Dec. 1, 1842, Mr.

Muller writes:--

Nothing had come in, except five s.h.i.+llings for needlework. The laborers had nothing to give, except one of them one s.h.i.+lling sixpence; yet this little supplied the absolute need, which was only milk. We were unable to take in the usual quant.i.ty of bread. Should it be said that the not taking in the usual quant.i.ty of bread would at once prove to the bakers that we are poor, my reply is, that that does not follow, because bread has often been sent as a present, as may be seen in the list of articles, given for the orphans, at the end of the printed Reports. But perhaps it may be asked, Why do you not take the bread on credit? What does it matter whether you pay immediately for it, or at the end of the month, or the quarter, or the half year? Seeing that the Orphan Houses are the work of the Lord, may you not trust in him that he will supply you with means to pay the bills which you contract with the butcher, baker, grocer, etc. as the things which you purchase are needful? My reply is this: 1. If the work in which we are engaged is indeed the work of G.o.d, then he whose work it is is surely able and willing to provide the means for it. 2. But not only so, he will also provide the means _at the time when they are needed_. I do not mean that he will provide them when _we think_ that they are needed; but yet that when there is real need, such as the necessaries of life being required, he will give them; and on the same ground on which we suppose we do trust in G.o.d to help us to pay the debt which we now contract, we may and ought to trust in the Lord to supply us with what we require at present, so that there may be no need for going into debt. 3. It is true, I might have goods on credit, and to a very considerable amount; but, then, the result would be, that the next time we were again in straits, the mind would involuntarily be turned to further credit which I might have, instead of being turned to the Lord, and thus faith, which is kept up and strengthened only by being EXERCISED, would become weaker and weaker, till at last, according to all human probability, I should find myself deeply in debt and have no prospect of getting out of it. 4. Faith has to do with the word of G.o.d,--rests upon the written word of G.o.d; but there is no promise that he will pay our debts. The word says rather, "Owe no man anything;" whilst there is the promise given to his children, "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee," and, "Whosoever believeth on him shall not be confounded." On this account we could not say, _upon the ground of the Holy Scriptures_, Why do you not trust in G.o.d that he will supply you with means to pay your debts which you contract in his service for the necessities of the orphans? 5. The last reason why we do not take goods on credit is this: The chief and primary object of the work was not the temporal welfare of the children, nor even their spiritual welfare, blessed and glorious as it is, and much as, through grace, we seek after it and pray for it; but the first and primary object of the work was, _to show before the whole world and the whole church of Christ, that even in these last evil days the living G.o.d is ready to prove himself as the living G.o.d, by being ever willing to help, succor, comfort, and answer the prayers of those who trust in him_: so that we need not go away from him to our fellow-men, or to the ways of the world, seeing that he is both able and willing to supply us with all we can need in his service.

From the beginning, when G.o.d put this service into my heart, I had antic.i.p.ated trials and straits; but knowing, as I did, the heart of G.o.d, through the experience of several years previously, I also knew that he would listen to the prayers of his child who trusts in him, and that he would not leave him in the hour of need, but listen to his prayers, and deliver him out of the difficulty, and that then, this being made known in print for the benefit of both believers and unbelievers, others would be led to trust in the Lord. We discern, therefore, more and more clearly that it is for the church's benefit that we are put into these straits, and if therefore in the hour of need we were to take goods on credit, the first and primary object of the work would be completely frustrated, and no heart would be further strengthened to trust in G.o.d; nor would there be any longer that manifestation of the special and particular providence of G.o.d which has. .h.i.therto been so abundantly shown through this work, even in the eyes of unbelievers, whereby they have been led to see _that there is after all reality in the things of G.o.d_, and many, through these printed accounts, have been truly converted. For these reasons, then, we consider it our precious privilege, as heretofore, to continue to wait upon the Lord only, instead of taking goods on credit, or borrowing money from some kind friends, when we are in need. Nay, we purpose, as G.o.d shall give us grace, to look to him only, though morning after morning we should have nothing in hand for the work, yea, though from meal to meal we should have to look to him; being fully a.s.sured that he who is now (1845) in the tenth year feeding these many orphans, and who has never suffered them to want, and that he who is now (1845) in the twelfth year carrying on the other parts of the work, without any branch of it being stopped for want of means, will do so for the future also. And here I do desire, in the deep consciousness of my natural helplessness and dependence upon the Lord, to confess that through the grace of G.o.d my soul has been in peace, though day after day we have had to wait for our daily provisions upon the Lord; yea, though even from meal to meal we have been required to do this.

Dec. 16. Nothing has come in. Three s.h.i.+llings fivepence, which one of the laborers was able to give, was all we had. At six o'clock this evening, our need being now very great, not only with reference to the Orphan Houses, but also the day schools, etc., I gave myself, with two of the laborers, to prayer. There needed some money to come in before eight o'clock to-morrow morning, as there was none to take in milk for breakfast (the children have oatmeal porridge with milk for breakfast), to say nothing about the many other demands of to-morrow, being Sat.u.r.day. Our hearts were at peace, while asking the Lord, and a.s.sured that our Father would supply our need. WE HAD SCARCELY RISEN FROM OUR KNEES when I received a letter, containing a sovereign for the orphans, half of which was from a young East India officer, and the other half the produce of the sale of a piece of work which the sister who sent the money had made for the benefit of the orphans. She wrote, "I love to send these little gifts. They so often come in season." Truly, thus it was at this time. About five minutes later I received from a brother the promise of fifty pounds for the orphans, to be given during the next week; and a quarter of an hour after that, about seven o'clock, a brother gave me a sovereign, which an Irish sister in the Lord had left this day, on her departure for Dublin, for the benefit of the orphans.

How sweet and precious to see thus so manifestly the willingness of the Lord to answer the prayers of his needy children!

Dec. 19. Our need with reference to the school fund had been great during the last three weeks, though we had received as much as the teachers absolutely required. Now, however, it was very great, as one brother especially needed to have several pounds within a day or two, and three other teachers also required supplies. It had in addition to this been much in my heart to send some money to several brethren who labor in foreign lands, in dependence upon the Lord only for their pecuniary supplies; but I had been kept from doing so for want of means.

On these accounts, therefore, I gave myself again especially to prayer this morning, when, _within a quarter of an hour_ after I had risen from my knees, I received the order for one hundred pounds, which I was at liberty to use as need required.

REVIEW OF THE YEAR, 1842.

1. As to the church. There are 601 at present in communion; 73 have been added during the past year, of whom 27 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.

2. As to the supply of my temporal necessities, the Lord has been pleased to send me 329, 16s.

Feb. 11, 1843. We had one pound fourteen s.h.i.+llings towards the expenses of this day. But as this was not enough, I asked the Lord still further for help, and, behold, this morning's post brought me a post-office order for two pounds from Stafford, of which one pound seven s.h.i.+llings sixpence is for the orphans. Thus we have three pounds one s.h.i.+lling sixpence, which is quite enough for this day.

Admire with me, my dear reader, if you know the Lord, his seasonable help. Why does this post-office order not come a few days sooner or later? Because the Lord would help us by means of it, and therefore influences the donor just then, and not sooner nor later, to send it.

Surely, all who know the Lord, and who have no interest in disowning it, cannot but see his hand in a remarkable manner in this work. Nor will the G.o.dly and simple-minded reader say, "There is no difference between this way of proceeding, on the one hand, and going from individual to individual, asking them for means, on the other hand; for the writing of the Reports is just the same thing." My dear reader, there is a great difference. Suppose that we are in need. Suppose that our poverty lasts for some weeks, or even some months, together. Is there not, in that case, a difference between asking the Lord only from day to day, without speaking to any human being not connected directly with the work about our poverty, on the one hand, and writing letters or making personal application to benevolent individuals for a.s.sistance, on the other hand? Truly, there is a great difference between these two modes.

I do not mean to say that it would be acting against the precepts of the Lord to seek for help in his work by personal and individual application to _believers_ (though it would be in direct opposition to his will to apply to _unbelievers_, 2 Cor. vi. 14-18); but _I_ act in the way in which I do for the benefit of the church at large, cheerfully bearing the trials, and sometimes the deep trials, connected with this life of faith (which however brings along with it also its precious joys), if by any means a part at least of my fellow-believers might be led to see the reality of dealing with G.o.d only, and that there is such a thing as the child of G.o.d having power with G.o.d by prayer and faith. That the Lord should use for so glorious a service one so vile, so unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least notice as I am, I can only ascribe to the riches of his condescending _grace_, in which he takes up the most unlikely instruments, that the honor may be _manifestly_ his.

Should Satan seek to whisper into your ears, Perhaps the matter is made known, after all, when there is need (as it has been once said about me at a public meeting in a large town, that when we were in want I prayed _publicly_ that the Lord would send help for the orphans, which is entirely false); I say, should it be said that I took care that our wants were made known, I reply: Whom did I ask for anything these many years since the work has been going on? To whom did I make known our wants, except to those who are closely connected with the work? Nay, so far from wis.h.i.+ng to make known our need, for the purpose of influencing benevolent persons to contribute to the necessities of the Inst.i.tution under my care, I have even refused to let our circ.u.mstances be known, after having been asked about them, when, on simply saying that we were in need, I might have had considerable sums. Some instances of this have been given in the former part of this Narrative. In such cases I refused in order that the hand of G.o.d only might be manifest; for that, and not the money, nor even the ability of continuing to carry on the work, is my especial aim. And such self-possession has the Lord given me, that in the times of the deepest poverty, whilst there was nothing at all in hand, and whilst we had even from meal to meal to wait upon the Lord for the necessities of more than one hundred persons, when a donation of five pounds or ten pounds, or more, has been given to me, the donors could not have read in my countenance whether we had much or nothing at all in hand. But enough of this. I have made these few remarks, beloved reader, lest by any means you should lose the blessing which might come to your soul through reading the account of the Lord's faithfulness and readiness to hear the prayers of his children.

March 8. On Oct. 25, 1842, I had a long conversation with a sister in the Lord, who opened her heart to me. On leaving me I told her that my house and my purse were hers, and that I should be glad if she would have one purse with me. This I said because I judged that at some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an hour of trial, having at the same time, to judge from a circ.u.mstance which had occurred two days before, every reason to believe that she had not five pounds of her own.

This sister, after I had said so, readily took me at my word, and said, I shall be glad of it, adding presently that she had five hundred pounds. The moment I heard that, I drew back, and said that had I known that she had any money I should not have made her this offer, and then gave her my reason why I had supposed she had no property at all. She then a.s.sured me that she possessed five hundred pounds, and that she had never seen it right to give up this money, else she would have done so; but that, as G.o.d had put this sum into her hands without her seeking, she thought it was a provision which the Lord had made for her. I replied scarcely anything to this; but she asked me to pray for her with reference to this matter. This whole conversation about the money occupied but very few minutes, and it all took place after the sister had risen and was on the point of leaving me. After she was gone, I asked the Lord if he would be pleased to make this dear sister so happy in himself; and enable her so to realize her true riches and inheritance in the Lord Jesus, and the reality of her heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by the love of Christ cheerfully to lay down this five hundred pounds at his feet. From that time I repeated this my request before the Lord _daily_, and often two, three, or four times a day; _but not a single word or line pa.s.sed between me and this sister on the subject, nor did I even see her_; for I judged that it would be far better that she retained this money, than that by persuasion she should give it up, and afterwards perhaps regret the step she had taken, and thereby more dishonor than honor be brought on the name of the Lord.

After I had thus for twenty-four days daily besought the Lord on behalf of this sister, I found her one day, on returning home, at my house; when she told me that she wished to see me alone. She then said to me that from the time she had last conversed with me she had sought to ascertain the Lord's will with reference to the five hundred pounds, and had examined the Scriptures and prayed about it, and that she was now a.s.sured that it was the will of the Lord she should give up this money.

After she had told me this, I exhorted her to count well the cost, and to do nothing rashly, lest she should regret the step she had taken, and to wait at least a fortnight longer before she carried out her intention. Thus we separated. On the eighteenth day after this conversation I received the following letter:--

DEAR BROTHER:

I believe the Lord has not permitted you to grow weary of remembering me, but that he has still enabled you to bear me upon your heart in his presence. All is well with me, dear brother. Your pet.i.tions have been heard and answered; I am happy and at peace. The Lord has indeed manifested his tender care of and his great love towards me in Jesus, in inclining my heart cheerfully to lay _all_ I have hitherto called my own at his feet. It is a high privilege.

I write in haste to ask you, as we have _now_ one purse, to receive the money at a bank in Bristol. I will direct it to be sent in my name, to be delivered into your hands, etc.

As this whole circ.u.mstance is related only for the profit of the reader, and as I knew that the sister still had my letters on the subject in her possession, I wrote to her, requesting her to send them to me, at the time when I published the last account about the Orphan Houses, etc., and extracts of them were given in the last Report, in so far as they might refer to the subject or tend to edification. These extracts are here reprinted. My reply to the above was this:--

BRISTOL, DEC. 6, 1842.

MY DEAR SISTER:

Your letter found me in peace, and did not in the least surprise me. Dealing with G.o.d is a reality. Saints have power with him through Jesus. It is now forty-two days since you first mentioned this matter to me. I cannot but admire the wisdom of G.o.d and his love to you in allowing me to speak to you as I did [_i. e._ offering her to have one purse with me, when I thought she had no earthly possessions at all], that thus this great privilege might be bestowed on you to give up this little sum for him. Since that hour I have daily prayed for you, and often thrice or more in the course of the day, that the Lord would make you so happy in himself, and help you with such faith to lay hold on all which he has given you in Jesus, that you might be constrained by love cheerfully to lay down this little sum at his feet. Thus I prayed again at six o'clock this morning for you. Nor have I had the least doubt from the commencement that the Lord did hear my prayer; yea, so fully have I been a.s.sured that I had the pet.i.tion, that again and again I have thanked him that he had answered my prayer, before I saw you eighteen days since, and before your letter came this morning. Moreover, I have been fully a.s.sured, since you were last here, that he was carrying on his work in your soul with reference to this matter, and that no subtle suggestions of Satan, nor educational prejudices, nor misinterpretations of the Scriptures, were able to prevail; for I had asked the Lord by his Spirit to overcome them in you, and that, if a brother's word should be needed, he would be pleased to incline your heart to write to me; and as no letter came, I felt fully confident you were going forward in this matter in peace. When I had seen you this day six weeks, and learned about this little sum, _I determined never to say or write to you another word on the subject, but to leave you in the hands of the Lord_. Thus I purposed again during the last eighteen days; _for it was not the money given up_, that I cared for in you, _but the money given up unto the Lord, and from right motives_. On this very account I advised you to wait one fortnight longer, though you had come to the conclusion; but now, having done so, and seeing that you are fully purposed in the Lord to be poor in this world indeed, that the more abundantly you may enjoy his riches, his inexhaustible riches, I change my advice. My word now, beloved sister, is this: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might," and "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them." Delay then no longer, even as also you have no desire to delay; and the Lord will bless you abundantly in doing so, _inasmuch as you do it unto him_. As you desire to intrust me with this money, I do not refuse it, knowing many ways to lay it out for him, etc.

[Then only follows the direction how the money is to be paid into my banker's hands.]

On Dec. 18, 1842, I received a reply to my letter, which answer was begun to be written on Dec. 8th, but finished on the 16th. I give a few extracts of the letter:--

Since I last saw you, dear brother, I have not had the slightest doubt as to what I ought to do. The word of G.o.d has been so clear to me on this head, that I have been kept resting on it, and, in answer to your prayers, no temptation has been allowed to _prevail_, indeed, I think I may add to _arise_. But I feel that temptations _may_ come, and that I may in seasons of trial not always have faith to be able to rejoice in this privilege.

My heart is so deceitful, and my faith so weak, that I shall greatly need your prayers still. Will you, then, if the Lord enables you, pray that I may never offend my Father by regretting in the _least_ measure this act of obedience, which he has by his grace inclined me to carry out? _Before I ever saw you_ I had asked the Lord to make me willing to give this little sum into your hands, if it were his will I should; but his time to make me willing had not then come; even then I had in a measure given it to you, having written a paper, desiring in case I should fall asleep in Jesus, that you might get possession of it. I had it signed by two witnesses, and I always carried it about with me when I travelled, sealed, and directed to you. When I wrote this, I little thought what grace the Lord had in store for me. You will forgive my being thus tedious, but I am sure you will praise the Lord with me for his gracious dealings with me, etc.

At the end of this letter, which was finished on Dec. 16, the sister tells me that unexpectedly a hindrance had arisen to her having possession of the money, so that it was not likely it could be paid over to me till about the end of January, 1843.

When this letter came, it would have been _naturally_ a great disappointment to me, as the sister had told me in a previous letter that the money should be paid into my hands, and as just at that time in a variety of ways it was desirable that I should have considerable sums.

The Lord, however, enabled me to immediately lay hold on that word, "We know that all things work together for good to them that love G.o.d," Rom.

viii. 28, and my soul was in peace, though we had only enough money in hand to provide for one or at the most for two days the necessary provisions in the Orphan Houses. It was but the next day, Dec. 19, 1842, when I received one hundred pounds from A. B., and on Dec. 22, I received fifty pounds from a brother in Bristol, besides other donations; so that within one week after I had had grace to delight myself in the will of G.o.d, he gave me about two hundred pounds, whereby I was able to meet all the heavy expenses of replenis.h.i.+ng the stores, etc., on account of which I should _naturally_ have been tried in the payment of the money being delayed.

In reply to the letter which I received from this sister on Dec. 18, I wrote another on Dec. 31, 1842, of which I give an extract on this subject:--