The Life of Trust Part 18

II. REASONS FOR REMAINING IN WILSON STREET.

1. G.o.d _hitherto_ has pointed out the spot most plainly. At the commencement of the work, in 1835, no other house was to be had but No.

6 Wilson Street. Afterwards, when in 1836 the Infant Orphan House was on the point of being opened, again I was looking about in all directions, and saw many houses, but found none that was suitable, till all at once, most unlooked for, the occupiers of No. 1 Wilson Street were desirous of immediately leaving that house, and I was able thus to rent it. When in 1837 I was on the point of opening the Boys' Orphan House, I looked about again for a house in all directions; for I knew not at that time, what I have since learned by experience, that it was so important that all the houses should be near together. After seeking long in vain, I at last found a very large house, not far from Wilson Street, which I rented; but when the occupiers of the houses in the neighborhood heard that that house had been let for a charitable inst.i.tution, they threatened the owner with an action, which led him to request me to give up the agreement, which, of course, I did immediately. At last, most unexpectedly, after having looked about in vain in all directions, the occupiers of No. 3 Wilson Street offered it to me, and I rented it for the orphan boys. Lastly, in the year 1843, when I was led to see it to be the will of G.o.d to go forward in this work, and to establish the Girls' Orphan House, No. 2, for older girls, one particular feature in the matter was, that the house No. 4 in Wilson Street had been offered to me, without being sought after, when there had not been for about six years one single large house to be let in that street.

[But though _hitherto_ G.o.d has pointed out Wilson Street as being the spot where this work should be carried on, may not _now_ the time have come for removing?]

2. Perhaps we might also rent Nos. 2, 5, and 7, in Wilson Street, and use two out of those three houses for Orphan Houses, and one of them for an infirmary in the case of sickness.

[But then, I said to myself, would not the objection, which the neighbors on the opposite side of the street might make, on account of the noise of the children in their play-hours, etc., remain? Also the drains would be still more unsuitable, not being constructed for so many inmates; and to alter them would be a heavy expense. The play-ground would be still less sufficient, if two new houses were added. Lastly, there was no reason to think that we could rent Nos. 2, 5, and 7.]

3. There are these three great objections against building: The considerable sum which is required, and which could be spent for present use upon the orphans. The pilgrim character of the Christian seems lost in building. The time that it will necessarily take in making arrangements for it.

[Do not all these objections only hold good, I said to myself, if I were _needlessly_ to set about building? If I could rent premises, which are really in every way suitable for the work, and I _preferred_ building, then those objections would apply to the case; but when one is _forced_ to it, it is no more than erecting a large building because there may be eight hundred children of G.o.d in fellows.h.i.+p who have been hitherto renting a meeting-place, but for certain reasons are obliged to leave it, and cannot rent another. Such could not be accused of needlessly spending money in building instead of renting; nor could it be justly said that they have _on that account_ given up the pilgrim character; nor would it be time wasted if some individuals were to make arrangements about the building of that meeting-place. Therefore these three objections just mentioned, which had been _for ten years strongly in my own mind_, were removed when once I saw plainly that nothing remained but to build.]

After I had spent a few hours in prayer and consideration over the subject, I began already to see that the Lord would lead me to build, and that his intentions were not only the benefit of the orphans and the better ordering of the whole work, but also the bearing still further testimony that he _could_ and _would_ provide _large_ sums for those who need them and trust in him for them; and besides, that he would enlarge the work, so that, if I once did build a house, it might be large enough to accommodate three hundred orphans, with their teachers and other overseers and servants needful for the work. Concerning this latter point, I think it important to remark, that during no period had the number of the applications for the admission of orphans been greater than just before I was led to think about building, so that it was quite painful to me not to be able to comply with the wishes of all the many persons who applied for the admission of orphans. There were many waiting for admission, particularly orphan boys.

In the afternoon of November 3, 1845, I laid the matter before my fellow-laborers in the church (eight in number), to get their judgment, whether I ought not to leave Wilson Street, and to build. All judged that I ought to leave Wilson Street, and none saw reasons against building.

On Nov. 4, my dear wife and I began to meet for prayer about this matter, and purposed to do so morning by morning. We asked G.o.d for clearer light concerning the particular points connected with the subject; and being a.s.sured that it was his will that I should build, I began asking the Lord for means.

On Nov. 7, I judged, having considered the matter more fully, that sufficiently large premises to furnish all needful accommodation for three hundred children (from their earliest days up to fifteen or sixteen years old), together with a sufficiently large piece of ground in the neighborhood of Bristol, for building the premises upon, and the remainder for cultivation by the spade, would cost at least ten thousand pounds. I was not discouraged by this, but trusted in the living G.o.d.

We continued meeting for prayer morning by morning for fifteen days, but not a single donation came in; yet my heart was not discouraged. The more I prayed, the more a.s.sured I was that the Lord would give the means. Yea, as fully a.s.sured was I that the Lord would do so, as if I had already seen the new premises actually before me. This a.s.surance arose not from some vague, enthusiastical feeling, the mere excitement of the moment, but, 1. From the reasons already related, and especially from the commandment contained in Philip. iv. 5. For I saw that I should not act according to the mind of our Lord Jesus if I did not, as soon as I could, remove the orphans from Wilson Street, as it had been stated to me, in the letter above referred to, that their living there was an annoyance to some of the inhabitants in that street. 2. This a.s.surance that I should build an Orphan House arose further from the whole way in which the Lord had been pleased to lead me in connection with the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution for Home and Abroad since its beginning on March 5, 1834, _i. e._ he has been leading me forward as by an unseen hand, and enlarging the work more and more from its commencement, and, generally, without my seeking after it, and bringing things so clearly before me that I could not but see that I ought to go forward. 3. Lastly and chiefly, this, my a.s.surance that I should build unto the Lord this house of mercy, arose also particularly from this, that having strictly examined my heart as to the motives for doing so, I found that, as before G.o.d, I could say that my only motives were his honor and glory, and the welfare of the church of Christ at large, the real temporal and spiritual welfare of dest.i.tute orphans, and the welfare of all those who might take care of them, in the building to be erected. And finding that, after praying again and again about the matter, I still remained in perfect peace, I judged it a.s.suredly to be the will of G.o.d that I should go forward.

On Nov. 15, brother R. C. arrived, to labor for a little while in Bristol. I communicated to him my position with reference to having to remove the orphans from Wilson Street, and I had his judgment also as to its being of G.o.d that I should _build_. This dear brother's judgment greatly encouraged me. His visit was to me of great help in this particular, especially in stirring me up yet more to bring everything in connection with this matter before G.o.d. He also laid it on my heart to seek direction from G.o.d with reference to the plan of the building. He said, "You must ask help from G.o.d to show you the plan, so that all may be according to the mind of G.o.d."

Up to Dec. 9, thirty-five days had pa.s.sed away, whilst I was day by day waiting upon G.o.d for means for this work, and not a single penny had been given to me. Nevertheless, this did not in the least discourage me, but my a.s.surance that G.o.d, in his own time and in his own way, would give the means, increased more and more. The portion which came in course of my meditation on the New Testament, was the beginning of the epistle of James. More than at any period in my life was I struck with these verses: "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations (_i. e._ trials); knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." James i. 2-4. It was especially the last verse, "But let patience have her perfect work,"

etc., which I found of exceeding great importance with reference to the building of the Orphan House. It led out my soul in prayer day after day, to ask the Lord to increase my faith, and to sustain my patience. I had these verses so impressed upon my heart that I could not but think that G.o.d meant particularly to bless me by them, with regard to the work before me, and that I should especially need patience as well as faith.

On the thirty-sixth day after having begun to pray, Dec. 10, 1845, I received one thousand pounds towards the building of the Orphan House.

This is the largest donation that I had received up to that time for the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution; but when I received it I was as calm, as quiet, as if I had only received one s.h.i.+lling. For my heart was looking out for answers. Day by day I was expecting to receive answers to my prayers. Therefore, having faith concerning the matter, this donation did not in the least surprise me. Yea, if five thousand pounds or ten thousand pounds had been given to me, instead of one thousand pounds, it would not have surprised me.

Dec. 13. On the thirty-ninth day my sister-in-law, who had been for some weeks absent in London, and who had now returned to Bristol, told me that she had met a gentleman in London, who, having quite recently read with deep interest the Narrative of the Lord's dealings with me, wished to know as many particulars about the work in my hands as he could. Being told by my sister-in-law that I purposed to build an Orphan Mouse, he, an architect, offered to make the plan, and superintend the building _gratuitously_. Unsolicited, he pressed this matter upon her with deep and lively interest. I hear also that he is a Christian. The fact that this offer comes _unsolicited_, and from a Christian architect, shows especially the hand of G.o.d. This is the _second_ proof that G.o.d will help me in this matter.

Dec. 23. This is now the fiftieth day since I have come to the conclusion to build, and the forty-ninth day since we have been daily waiting upon G.o.d for help. Nothing more has come in since Dec. 10, not even one penny. This morning I have been particularly encouraged by the consideration that the Lord has sent me the one thousand pounds, and the promise from that pious architect, whom I have never seen, and of whose name I am as yet in ignorance, _not to mock me, but as an earnest that he will give all that is needed_.

It seems desirable that we should have a large piece of ground, at least six or seven acres. This piece of ground must be in the vicinity of Bristol: 1. In order that the Orphan House may be accessible to me, as my place at present is fixed by my other work in Bristol. 2. That the laborers in the Inst.i.tution, and the orphans may be able to attend our meetings, at least on the Lord's day. For if meetings were held on purpose in the Orphan House, either the laborers or the children would not be benefited by them in that measure in which it is desirable. 3.

That the inhabitants of Bristol may have the benefit of seeing with their own eyes this work of G.o.d, which is so manifestly his and not mine. 4. That strangers who pa.s.s through Bristol may have easy access to it, for the same reason. But then, such a piece of ground near Bristol, where there is just now such an inordinate desire for building, in the way of speculation, would cost, in all human probability, between two and three thousand pounds. Then the building itself, however plain, would not cost less than from six to eight thousand pounds, being for three hundred orphans, besides all their overseers, teachers, and a.s.sistants. In addition to this, the fitting up and furnis.h.i.+ng the house for all these between three and four hundred inmates would not cost less than fifteen hundred pounds more. This is indeed a large sum of money which I need; but my hope is in G.o.d. I have not sought after this thing.

It has not begun with me. G.o.d has altogether unexpectedly, by means of the letter before mentioned, led me to it. Only the day before I received the letter, I had no more thought about _building_ premises for the accommodation of the orphans than I had had during the ten previous years. My especial prayer is that G.o.d would continue to me _faith_ and _patience_. If he shall be pleased to help me in faith and patience to continue to wait on him, help will surely come.

Dec. 24. No further donation yet. But my hope in G.o.d is unshaken. He most a.s.suredly will help. I have on purpose not issued any circular in connection with this matter, in order that the hand of G.o.d may be the more manifest. To some persons residing in or out of Bristol I have spoken about my intention of building, when conversation led to it.

Through this, if the Lord please, he can make it known to others, and thus send means for the building fund. Or he can send in such an abundance of means for the work which is already in existence, that from that abundance there might be a rich surplus towards the building fund. But howsoever G.o.d may help, I do desire to see his hand made most manifest. There will be, no doubt, many trials connected with this enlargement of the field of labor (for if with the one hundred and thirty orphans there has been so much trial of faith, what is to be expected when the number is three hundred); and therefore I desire to see as clearly as daylight that G.o.d himself is leading me onward.

Dec. 29. This is the fifty-sixth day since I came to the conclusion to build, and the fifty-fifth since I have been day by day waiting upon G.o.d concerning it. Only that one donation had come in till this evening, when I received fifty pounds. This donation is exceedingly precious to me, not only because I am sure it is most cheerfully given, nor even because of its largeness, but because it is another precious proof that G.o.d will bring about the matter, else he would not give me these earnests. All _my_ business therefore is, to continue in faith and patience to wait upon G.o.d. My a.s.surance has been more and more increasing that G.o.d will build for himself a large Orphan House in this city, to show to the inhabitants, and to all who may read and hear about it, what a blessed thing it is to trust in him. Of late I have seen, by G.o.d's grace, more and more how entirely unworthy I am of being used by G.o.d for this glorious and honorable service, and I can only say: "Lord, here is thy servant, if thou art pleased to use such a one as I am."

Dec. 30, 1845. This morning I came, in course of my reading, to the commencement of the book of Ezra. I was particularly refreshed by the two following points contained in the first chapter, in applying them to the building of the Orphan House: 1. Cyrus, an _idolatrous_ king, was used by G.o.d to provide the means for building the temple at Jerusalem: how easy therefore for G.o.d to provide ten thousand pounds for the Orphan House, or even twenty or thirty thousand pounds, if needed. 2.

The people were stirred up by G.o.d to help those who went up to Jerusalem. Thus it is a small matter for him to put it into the hearts of his children to help me, in desiring to build this house of mercy unto his name. This meditation I had before breakfast. After family prayer in the morning, I had again my usual season for prayer about the building, and at this time it was particularly coupled with thanksgiving for the fifty pounds received last evening, and with entreating blessings on the donor. I was now looking out for more, as I am doing day by day, when this afternoon I received from a person at Clevedon two s.h.i.+llings sixpence, from her grandson sixpence, and from the sister in the Lord who brought the money the change which she did not wish back, being another sixpence. These donations, though small, are nevertheless very precious to me, as I take them as further proofs out of the hands of G.o.d that he will most a.s.suredly bring this thing to pa.s.s. This evening I received one thousand pounds towards the building fund. When I received this donation I was as calm, yea as perfectly calm, as if I had received a single penny, because, by G.o.d's grace, I have faith in him, and therefore I am looking for answers to my prayers, and am sure that G.o.d will give every s.h.i.+lling that is needed.

January 2, 1846. This evening I received from Bideford eleven s.h.i.+llings towards the building fund.

Jan. 3. One of the orphans gave sixpence.

Jam 6. Received a little bag made of foreign seed, and a sh.e.l.l flower, to be sold for the building fund. The sister who sent these articles wrote to me, that the moment she heard of my intention of building an Orphan House, this text was before her mind: "Who art thou, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain." Zech. iv. 7.

Also one of the orphans sent fourpence.

Having asked the Lord to go before me, I went out to-day to look for a piece of ground. The armory which is to be sold had been several times mentioned to me as a suitable place. I did not think so, yet I thought I ought at least to look at it. Having seen it and been confirmed in my judgment about its unsuitableness, I asked the Lord whether I should turn towards the city or towards Stapleton. I felt led to go towards the city, and saw immediately after some fields near the armory. After having made inquiry to whom they belonged, I have been led to write this evening to the owner of them, asking him whether he is disposed to sell them, etc. I am now quietly waiting the Lord's pleasure. If his time is come to answer our requests as to a suitable piece of land, I shall be glad; if it is not yet come, I desire that "patience may have her perfect work, being perfect and entire, wanting nothing."

Jan. 8. This evening I received a reply to my letter. The owner of those fields writes, that, if he did sell them, it would be only for building land, and therefore they will be too dear.

Jan. 9. Went this morning once more to see those fields, which seem very suitable. Met there Mr. L., a land agent, who told me that they would be nearly a thousand pounds per acre, and therefore too dear. I asked Mr.

L. to inform me if he should hear of any suitable land for sale.

Jan. 31. It is now eighty-nine days since I have been daily waiting upon G.o.d about the building of an Orphan House. The time seems to me now near when the Lord will give us a piece of ground, and I told the brethren and sisters so this evening, after our usual Sat.u.r.day evening prayer meeting at the Orphan House.

Feb. 1. A poor widow sent to-day ten s.h.i.+llings.

Feb. 2. To-day I heard of suitable and cheap land on Ashley Down.

Feb. 3. Saw the land. It is the most desirable of all I have seen. There was anonymously put into an orphan box at my house a sovereign, in a piece of paper, on which was written, "The New Orphan House."

Feb. 4. This evening I called on the owner of the land on Ashley Down, about which I had heard on the 2d, but he was not at home. As I, however, had been informed that I should find him at his house of business, I went there, but did not find him there either, as he had _just before_ left. I might have called again at his residence at a later hour, having been informed by one of the servants that he would be sure to be at home about eight o'clock; but I did not do so, judging that there was the hand of G.o.d in my not finding him at either place: and I judged it best therefore not to force the matter, but to "let patience have her perfect work."

Feb. 5. Saw this morning the owner of the land. He told me that he awoke at three o'clock this morning and could not sleep again till five. While he was thus lying awake his mind was all the time occupied about the piece of land respecting which inquiry had been made of him for the building of an Orphan House, at my request; and he determined with himself that, if I should apply for it, he would not only let me have it, but for one hundred and twenty pounds per acre, instead of two hundred pounds, the price which he had previously asked for it. How good is the Lord! The agreement was made this morning, and I purchased a field of nearly seven acres, at one hundred and twenty pounds per acre.

Observe the hand of G.o.d in my not finding the owner at home last evening! The Lord meant to speak to his servant first about this matter, during a sleepless night, and to lead him _fully_ to decide before I had seen him.

Feb. 8. I wrote the day before yesterday to the architect, who has offered his help gratuitously.

Feb. 11. Received from a sister in the Lord five pounds. Received also from the architect the following reply to my letter:--

MY DEAR SIR:

It will afford me a gratification, beyond what I can communicate by letter, to lend you the helping hand in the labor of love you are engaged in, and I shall esteem it a very great privilege being allowed to exercise my abilities as an architect and surveyor in the erection of the building you propose to erect for the orphans. I really do mean what I say, and, if all is well, by the blessing of G.o.d, I will _gratuitously_ furnish you with plans, elevations, and sections, with specification of the work, so that the cost may be accurately estimated. I will also make you an estimate and superintend the works for you _gratuitously_, etc.

The total amount which has been given for the building fund, up to June 4, 1846, is two thousand seven hundred and ten pounds three s.h.i.+llings five and a half pence. This is only a small part of what will be needed; but, by the grace of G.o.d, I am in perfect peace, being fully a.s.sured that G.o.d in his own time will send the whole sum which is required. Many and great have already been the exercises of faith and patience since I first began to give myself to prayer about this work, and still greater they may be, before it is accomplished; but G.o.d, in the riches of his grace, will help me through them all. It is now (June 4, 1846) two hundred and twelve days since I first began to pray about this work, and day after day, since then, have I been enabled to continue to wait upon G.o.d, and I am more than ever a.s.sured that, not withstanding all my exceeding great unworthiness, G.o.d will condescend to use me, to build this house. Had it been the excitement of the moment, the difficulties which have already come upon me in connection with this work (and which are not stated here, on account of their occupying too much room) would have overwhelmed me; but as G.o.d himself, I trust, led me to this work, so he has helped me, and does help me, and I doubt not will help me to the end.

The house is intended to be built so as to accommodate one hundred and forty orphan girls above seven years of age, eighty orphan boys above seven, and eighty male and female orphans from their earliest days, till they are seven years old, together with all the overseers and teachers, etc., that may be needed. The infants, after having pa.s.sed the age of seven, will be removed into the different departments for older boys and girls.

Before leaving this period, it may be proper to recur to the following miscellaneous points, respecting the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution for Home and Abroad, with reference to the period from July 14, 1844, to May 26, 1846.

1. During the whole of this period four day schools, with 278 children in them, were _entirely_ supported by the funds of the Inst.i.tution.

Three day schools besides were _a.s.sisted_. The number of the children that were taught in the day schools, entirely supported by the funds of the Inst.i.tution, from March 5, 1834, to May 26, 1846, amounts to 3,983.

During the period from July 14, 1844, to May 26, 1846, 628, 19s.

4d. was spent on all the schools, which were either entirely or in part supported by the funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution.

Further: during this period there were also entirely supported a Sunday school with 80 children, and an adult school with 60 persons attending it. The total number of the adult scholars who received instruction, from the formation of this Inst.i.tution to May 26, 1846, is 1,146.

2. During this period were circulated 269 Bibles and 171 Testaments; and 5,079 Bibles and 3,528 Testaments were circulated from the commencement of the work up to May 26, 1846. From July 14, 1844, to May 26, 1846, 40, 7s. 10d. was expended of the funds of the Inst.i.tution on this object.

3. From July 14, 1844, to May 26, 1846, was laid out for foreign and home missions the sum of 595, 7s. 9d. During no period previously was so much of the funds of this Inst.i.tution spent on missionary work, which arose from the fact that the more I corresponded with brethren who labored in the word and doctrine in foreign lands, the more I saw how much they stood in need of a.s.sistance, and thus, my heart having been led out in prayer to G.o.d on their behalf, that he would be pleased to send me means, whereby I might be able to a.s.sist them, he was pleased to do so. This led me to the purpose, as G.o.d should give me grace, to be still more mindful of them in future, and to seek to be able still more to a.s.sist them. The same was the case with regard to those brethren who labor in England, but who have no salary or stipend, but trust in the living G.o.d for the supply of their daily necessities; I did long to help such brethren, and had no doubt that G.o.d would enable me to do so.