What a Young Husband Ought to Know Part 12

After the little stranger is safely landed, bathed, dressed, and has had a sufficient period of rest, the matter of nourishment is likely to come up for consideration. The food which nature has provided is best suited to the physical requirements of the child, and is found in the mother's b.r.e.a.s.t.s. The earliest secretions of her breast const.i.tute what is called colostrum, and is purgative in character, designed to cleanse the child's bowels of the meconium, or tar-like substance, with which they are filled previous to birth. Other food should never be subst.i.tuted until failure has resulted in an honest, serious effort to conform to nature's purpose. If for any reason the child cannot obtain the nourishment which should be provided by the mother, it needs very little food until the third day.

If the serious results attendant upon artificial food and the provision of wet-nurses were fully understood, the terrible consequences which come to both the children and their parents, as the result of such courses, would be studiously avoided. The desire to escape the nursing and care of children, so as early to return to the rounds of social duties and marital excesses, is a great mistake. The well-being of the mother, as well as of the child, is dependent upon the fulfillment of the natural obligations which are inseparable from the relation of motherhood.

In large cities there are women who lead dissolute lives, put away their own children, and then rent themselves out as wet-nurses. When interviewed they tell plausible stories, and ingratiate themselves sometimes into good families, to render the double service of nurse and artificial mother. Many of these women are not only devoid of moral character, but bring to the child the degenerating influences which are inseparable from the vice and impurity which is a part of their own being. Not infrequently these women bring with them the after-effects of gonorrhea and syphilis, and the innocent child, which is ent.i.tled to the nourishment from the body of its own mother, is subjected by unthinking parents to the necessity of feeding at fountains which flow with corruption, disease and death.

It is on this very account that the children of the middle and even lower cla.s.ses are generally stronger physically, intellectually and morally, than the children of those whose wealth and inclination incline them to dissipation and excess, to late hours and rich food, and who from simple preference subject their children to artificial food, or to the dangers and diseases which are so often brought into the home by a wet-nurse and vicious nurse-girls.

Fatherhood, no less than motherhood, has its duties and its pleasures.

It is not only the father's duty, but it ought also to be his pleasure, to look after his own children. Some husbands speak of "the baby" as though it belonged wholly to the wife, and not to them. The thought of caring for or tending the child seems to be as foreign to their minds as though it were a child adopted by their wives from a foundling asylum.

It is not only the privilege, but the honor of the father to be found enjoying the pleasure and satisfaction of holding and caring for his children at proper times and intervals of leisure.

One of the prettiest pictures of home life is a painting in one of the galleries of Europe of the king of Belgium, upon his hands and knees upon the floor of the nursery, playing horse with his own royal children.

Some men seem to act as though it were a disgrace for them to carry their own children through the streets, or push the baby carriage when accompanied by their own wives. Every person has seen some strong, stalwart father, with weak character, walking by the side of a delicate, nervous wife, who is weak and faint because of the burden of carrying a child which belongs as much to the father as to the mother. Before they were married this same man would not allow the delicate darling by his side to carry her parasol; but now that they are married she is permitted to carry a child that weighs ten or twenty pounds, or even more, for great distances, because of the false pride of her unthoughtful husband.

We once knew a pastor of a prominent city church who lived adjacent to a small park where he was accustomed, at times, to sit in the shade and read. After a baby came into their home, being a sensible man, he found pleasure in giving some time and attention to his child; used sometimes to wheel it through the park in a baby carriage, or have the carriage stand near him while he sat and read. His home was not without a sufficient number of helpers, and one of his paris.h.i.+oners ventured one day to suggest that it was not becoming to take the baby with him when he went into the park to read; but the sensible father resented not only the insult which was offered to him personally, but to universal fatherhood, by replying that it was his baby, and he would do with it as he pleased.

The presence of a baby is a blessing in any home. It is a blessing to the father as well as to the mother. Some men are not good fathers, the same as some women are not the best of mothers; but any thoughtful husband will concede the fact that a proper apprehension of the relation which he sustains to the baby that is born in his home calls for a recognition of the privileges and obligations of a father to himself, to his child, and to his wife as well. What his home is, what his children are to become, will depend as much, and possibly more, upon what he is and does, than upon the little woman whose time, talent and strength are already taxed to their utmost by the various and constant demands which she must hourly meet.

PART III

CONCERNING HIS CHILDREN

CHAPTER XVII.

HEREDITY.

We now come in the third and last part of this book to write of what a young husband ought to know with regard to his children. If his children are to be greatly benefited by the wisdom of the father, he should be in possession of the knowledge imparted in the following chapters many years before he is in possession of the children. After they have received their inheritance from the parents, their bodies have been molded and fas.h.i.+oned, and bent and direction already given to their character, it is then too late to put such knowledge into practical use.

Much of what might be said in the closing chapters of this book has already found expression in the pages preceding. The doctrine of transmission and inheritance pervades not only this entire book, but also the two which precede it in the series. While it is true that too much importance cannot be placed upon the subject of heredity, the inheritance which we receive not only from our parents and grandparents but even from our great-grandparents, and while it is true that all that can be acquired in character and culture, both intellectual and physical, is transmitted from the parents to their children; yet possibly that which is by far the largest factor in determining the physical, intellectual, social and moral endowment of the child are found in the influences which mold and fas.h.i.+on the child during the months which lie between the period of conception and the time of birth.

The potent influences of these different periods stand related to each other somewhat like what may be seen in the studio of an artist who molds and fas.h.i.+ons in clay the models which are afterward to be actualized in bra.s.s or bronze. While the success of the work might be said to be greatly dependent upon the character, quality and condition of the clay brought to hand for this service, and while no perfect result could be secured with indifferent material, yet it is easy to see how, with the very best material at hand, an indifferent artist or a good artist when in indifferent mood would produce a very inferior model. If, with the thought of modifying the bronze figure after it has been cast, the artist is indifferent to the merits of the model which he is making, the final result can only prove a failure. No step in the work is unimportant, but the most important of all is the perfection of the model. In his hands the clay readily yields itself to his thought and impression; constant momentary care will prevent defects and deformities which could not be wholly remedied or refas.h.i.+oned, even by months and years of subsequent toil.

A wise man, when asked at what period a child's education should begin, replied: "Twenty years before it is born." This is not an extreme statement, and if it errs in anything it errs in making the period too short rather than too long. Henry Ward Beecher once said that since so much depends upon one's ancestors, a man ought to be very careful in choosing his grandparents; and there is a vast deal of truth suggested by this statement. A young woman cannot be too careful in choosing the man who is to become the father of her children, and a young man cannot exercise too much care in selecting the woman who is to become the mother of his children.

In writing of heredity and prenatal influences, the subject divides itself naturally into the three periods which we have previously suggested--the preparation which precedes conception, the mental and physical condition at the time of conjunction, the environment and the mental and physical states of the mother during the period of gestation.

So much depends upon heredity that men who are interested in the breeding of horses for the race-course recognize the fact that unless a horse comes of racing stock he cannot be possessed of these essential qualities, without which he cannot possibly win. It is said by those who have made a study of it, that in England no horse has been known to win in any considerable race that was not bred of racing stock. Occasionally a horse with an ordinary pedigree may exhibit wonderful speed for a _short_ distance, but none possesses the wind and endurance necessary for a long race with animals of a pure blood and a good pedigree. To this good inheritance the horseman adds constant training and the best of care. If these are at any time neglected, the horse begins to degenerate and reverts to the level of the ordinary animal.

It is generally agreed by physicians and those who have devoted time to the study of this subject that the mind and temper of the parents at the moment of conjunction have a great influence upon the temper and disposition of the child. Children should never be begotten except at those times when the husband and the wife can both bring their contribution of good health, affection and mental composure. Something of the effects produced by the mental states will appear by what we have to say in subsequent paragraphs.

In most instances it is perhaps true, as we have already suggested, that the greatest influences exerted upon the health, disposition and character are those which are effected by the physical and mental condition of the mother and the character of her environment during the period of gestation. While much of what we would like to know concerning prenatal influences is shrouded in mystery behind a veil that shuts us out from this holy of holies in which G.o.d dwells in mysterious creative power, yet we do know that peace of mind, equanimity of temper, purity of life, loving affections and exalted aspirations beget influences which are favorable to the production of the best physical, intellectual and moral endowments. If strong mental excitement, anger, emotion or fatigue affect injuriously the milk of the mother, so that the nursing child at once feels disturbed and injured, then we can reasonably understand how the child during the months prior to its birth, while it is even more dependent and far more intimately connected with the life-currents of the mother's body, and under the impress of her mental state, must be affected in a manner correspondingly greater.

While scientists at the present stage of inquiry and investigation have not been able to weigh and measure the force and effect of these influences, yet some results have been secured which help us to understand the existence of powers which were previously too subtle to be brought into the realm of human knowledge.

Something of the manner in which the mental condition of the mother may affect the child is suggested by the interesting experiments conducted by Prof. Elmer Gates in his laboratory at Chevy Chase, Was.h.i.+ngton, D. C.

Prof. Gates has demonstrated the fact that even the breath is so affected by the mental state that by a.n.a.lyzing the residuum which remains upon a looking-gla.s.s which has been breathed upon, he is able to determine the character of the mental condition of the individual at the time the breath was exhaled upon the gla.s.s. Anger, revenge, jealousy, joy, pain, pleasure, and possibly all the emotions, stamp their distinctive messages upon the breath with as much accuracy as the little machine in the telegraph office registers its message in characters which we need only to know in order to be read. What some of these many characters are, Prof. Gates has been able to decipher, and his investigations and discoveries establish the fact that the mentality of the individual is stamped upon the breath.

The mind not only affects the breath, but it affects the entire individual; and this statement is proven by the fact that the character of the exhalations of the body are affected by the mentality of the individual. It is a well-known fact that not only does each different disease produce its own peculiar bodily odor, but mental states produce similar effects. It is affirmed that the odor in an insane asylum differs from the odor in all other inst.i.tutions. It is stated that no amount of care and cleanliness, or even fumigation, can rid the wards and rooms of this subtle and distinctive odor, peculiar to the bodily exhalations of those who are affected with mental infirmities.

Insane asylums do not afford the only ill.u.s.tration. Inst.i.tutions in which convicts are confined also have an odor which is distinctive. It differs from that of any other inst.i.tution, and from the day that the buildings are completed and the convicts enter, the penitentiary odor is present, because inseparable from those who inhabit its wards. What is true of insane asylums and penitentiaries is doubtless true in a less p.r.o.nounced manner of all inst.i.tutions where persons are cla.s.sified according to mental differences.

If the mental states of the mother affect her own bodily health, and if each of the diseases of the body and of the mind begets exhalations with distinguis.h.i.+ng characteristics, it is easy to understand that the subtle effects of different mental states pervade the entire body. If these influences effect results beyond and without our own bodies, much more may they be expected to influence the unfolding mind and the developing body which are forming within the maternal body, and whose intimate dependence upon her seems to make them a part of her own person and individuality.

Something of these subtle laws of heredity was known even to the ancients, but the greatest acquisitions of knowledge along these lines have come to mankind during the past two centuries. Thomas Andrew Knight, who was born at Wormley Grange, England, in 1758, and died in 1836, accomplished such large results with vegetables, fruits and domestic animals, that he has quite properly been considered the founder of the science of horticulture. It was he who put into practice the principles which have resulted in giving us the improved apples, pears and many other fruits which have been developed from the unpalatable wild varieties. The effects later accomplished by Bakewell in the marvelous improvements in the new Leicester sheep afford one of many striking ill.u.s.trations. It is said that in the results effected by scientific breeders "it would seem as if they had at first drawn a perfect form and then given it life." Having first determined what form of sheep they preferred, they continued to select from the flocks those which most nearly approached the model, until they attained results which in their standard of perfection were greatly removed from the original type.

If you compare the wild boar of the forests with the improved breeds of swine, the results which have been secured become very manifest. An excellent judge of pigs says: "Pigs' legs should be no longer than just to prevent the animal's belly from trailing on the ground. The leg is the least profitable portion of the hog, and we therefore require no more of it than is absolutely necessary for the support of the rest. Let any one compare the wild boar with any improved breed and he will see how effectually the legs have been shortened."

Breeders of birds and pigeons and poultry have accomplished in their departments similar results. It is to the results of such study and development that we owe the many varieties of poultry, pigeons and birds. The poultry raiser may now determine whether he desires birds with large bodies for the table, or the smaller egg-producers, or whether he prefers other qualities, and he may select from the different varieties such as are possessed of the desired requisites.

When we remember what has been accomplished by those who have taken the single-leaf wild rose and produced the many elaborate and beautiful varieties of roses which are now cultivated in hot-houses, and when we see what has been accomplished by taking the many wild flowers of the field and developing them into the beauty and splendor of what is to be found in the botanical gardens, one gets a very fair idea of what has really been accomplished in these directions. In writing of this subject Dr. M. L. Holbrook says: "If there was no law of heredity, if animals and plants did not transmit their characters to their offspring, then it would be a waste of time to try to improve either." But the horticulturists take advantage of these known laws for the improvement of the original plant, and it is to the application of these same principles that we owe the changes which have transformed the size and flavor of the wild cherry and the wild grape into our present luscious specimens of cultivated fruit.

In the raising, mating and development of birds, sheep and cattle, wonderful results may be secured when the various steps are guarded and directed by intelligence. While it is true that in the mating of human beings all is largely left to sentiment, chance and blind blundering, and while wonderful results could be attained could intelligence and forethought give direction in human love affairs, yet with human beings who intelligently set themselves to correct mistakes and to develop talents, to supply deficiencies and prepare to transmit the very best results that are possible to them, the effort is approved by results in the offspring which are most gratifying and satisfactory.

No one can doubt the law of hereditary transmission. Our inherited and acquired characteristics are sure to be transmitted to our descendants.

Indeed, so thoroughly does character permeate one's entire being that it might be said of each drop of blood that in its characteristics it is a miniature of the person in whose body it was secreted. Eminent characters do not emanate from degenerate parents; and neither is the reverse true, except as the result of adequate reversionary influences.

It is possible for almost any stock to revert to its original type, but even such results are not produced without adequate causes. True, we have the sentence "Degenerate sons of n.o.ble sires," but when one does see such a result he may often find adequate causes. Eminent men often have their powers overtaxed by excessive demands. Great lawyers, physicians, preachers and statesmen often have such incessant demands upon their time and energy that, although some are possessed of great powers of endurance, yet many of them are almost always in a state of physical and mental depletion. Personally they have wrought into their daily effort all that they have to transmit, and their children receive only the remnants and dregs of greatness--a depleted body and a depleted mind.

Sometimes the degeneracy to the lower type is due to indulgence in social or other vices. If the father is guilty of s.e.xual excesses, given to the liberal use of tobacco, or uses intoxicating liquors, it will not be necessary to look further for the causes. Sometimes the child has had a great father, but a very ordinary mother; or both parents may have been great, while the mother may have been placed under the most disadvantageous surroundings, and subjected to the most unfavorable conditions during the period of gestation; or, after the birth of the child, it may have been turned over to the degenerating influences of diseased and corrupting servants; or it might be that the child had inherited the real character of a father whose reputation was great, but whose character was ordinary. The farmer who would raise a good crop finds three things essential. The first is, good seed; the second is, good soil; and the third is, good care.

CHAPTER XVIII.

PRENATAL INFLUENCES.

s.p.a.ce does not permit us to go into a full discussion of the theories and of the principles which lie at the basis of prenatal influences. A few ill.u.s.trations, however, will be suggestive, induce thoughtful consideration, and possibly lead many to a fuller investigation of the subject.

It is said that the mother of Robert Burns, the Scottish poet, was of a very happy disposition, and evinced a remarkable memory for old songs and ballads, and these she would sing as she went about her daily household duties.

Another instance often named is that of Napoleon Bonaparte. During the months preceding his birth his mother is said to have accompanied her husband on horseback upon one of his military campaigns. For several months she lived in the midst of military surroundings, and became personally interested in the arts of war. These influences stamped their impress upon her unborn child, whose earliest manifestation of childish interest after his birth was an exhibition of the warlike spirit. His thoughts and boyhood conversation were of war and conquest.

Mr. C. J. Bayer, in his interesting and suggestive book, ent.i.tled "Maternal Impressions," tells of a woman who, during the period of gestation, was stinted in her allowance of money, and stole from the cash-drawer in her husband's store. The son that was born to them was a kleptomaniac, whose stealing was limited to those of his own family and relatives. He stole his sister's watch, his mother's gold chain, a new suit and a diamond pin from his father; but he was never known to take anything from any one except his near relatives. If mothers would have honest children they should be careful to entertain no dishonest inclinations.

The result of an unsuccessful effort to murder one's own unborn offspring is seen in Guiteau, the a.s.sa.s.sin who shot President Garfield in 1881. His father was a man of some intellectual ability and integrity of character. The Guiteau children were born in rapid succession, and, because of lack of means, the mother, who was in poor health, was obliged to work harder than would have otherwise been the case. Before the birth of this child she resorted to every means in her power, by the use of drugs, to produce an abortion. In this she was unsuccessful. For several weeks during the latter part of her pregnancy she had brain fever, which probably also had the effect of arresting the development of some parts of the brain of her child. When the child was born it was weak and puny, and for months its life was one continual wail. It was months before the nervous system became at all quiet. He was deficient in common sense, without self-control, and entirely dest.i.tute of every vestige of remorse or shame. He was born a degenerate and a murderer.

From the great ma.s.s of matter which is available upon the subject of prenatal influences, Dr. Napheys tells of the artist Flaxman, the outlines of whose drawings used to be regarded as the most perfect and graceful in existence: "From earliest childhood he manifested a delight in drawing. His mother, a woman of refinement and artistic taste, used to relate that for months previous to his birth she spent hours daily studying engravings, and fixing in her memory the most beautiful productions of the human figure as portrayed by masters. She was convinced that the genius of her son was the fruit of her own self-culture."

Only a few days ago a young mother who had been alone much of the time during the period of gestation, and who had found special delight in books and reading, called our attention to the fact that her twin girls, now nearly two years of age, will accept a book in preference to toys, and be contented by the hour simply to hold and handle a book.