White Nights and Other Stories Part 21
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"Oh, well, you are not angry?"
"Oh, I'm all right; am I ever angry with any one! But you have wounded me, do you understand?"
"But how have I wounded you? In what way?"
"I come to you as to a friend, with a full heart, to pour out my soul to you, to tell you of my happiness...."
"What happiness? Why don't you speak?..."
"Oh, well, I am going to get married!" Vasya answered with vexation, for he really was a little exasperated.
"You! You are going to get married! So you really mean it?" Arkasha cried at the top of his voice. "No, no ... but what's this? He talks like this and his tears are flowing.... Vasya, my little Vasya, don't, my little son! Is it true, really?" And Arkady Ivanovitch flew to hug him again.
"Well, do you see, how it is now?" said Vasya. "You are kind, of course, you are a friend, I know that. I come to you with such joy, such rapture, and all of a sudden I have to disclose all the joy of my heart, all my rapture struggling across the bed, in an undignified way.... You understand, Arkasha," Vasya went on, half laughing. "You see, it made it seem comic: and in a sense I did not belong to myself at that minute. I could not let this be slighted.... What's more, if you had asked me her name, I swear, I would sooner you killed me than have answered you."
"But, Vasya, why did you not speak! You should have told me all about it sooner and I would not have played the fool!" cried Arkady Ivanovitch in genuine despair.
"Come, that's enough, that's enough! Of course, that's how it is.... You know what it all comes from--from my having a good heart. What vexes me is, that I could not tell you as I wanted to, making you glad and happy, telling you nicely and initiating you into my secret properly....
Really, Arkasha, I love you so much that I believe if it were not for you I shouldn't be getting married, and, in fact, I shouldn't be living in this world at all!"
Arkady Ivanovitch, who was excessively sentimental, cried and laughed at once as he listened to Vasya. Vasya did the same. Both flew to embrace one another again and forgot the past.
"How is it--how is it? Tell me all about it, Vasya! I am astonished, excuse me, brother, but I am utterly astonished; it's a perfect thunderbolt, by Jove! Nonsense, nonsense, brother, you have made it up, you've really made it up, you are telling fibs!" cried Arkady Ivanovitch, and he actually looked into Vasya's face with genuine uncertainty, but seeing in it the radiant confirmation of a positive intention of being married as soon as possible, threw himself on the bed and began rolling from side to side in ecstasy till the walls shook.
"Vasya, sit here," he said at last, sitting down on the bed.
"I really don't know, brother, where to begin!"
They looked at one another in joyful excitement.
"Who is she, Vasya?"
"The Artemyevs!..." Vasya p.r.o.nounced, in a voice weak with emotion.
"No?"
"Well, I did buzz into your ears about them at first, and then I shut up, and you noticed nothing. Ah, Arkasha, if you knew how hard it was to keep it from you; but I was afraid, afraid to speak! I thought it would all go wrong, and you know I was in love, Arkasha! My G.o.d! my G.o.d! You see this was the trouble," he began, pausing continually from agitation, "she had a suitor a year ago, but he was suddenly ordered somewhere; I knew him--he was a fellow, bless him! Well, he did not write at all, he simply vanished. They waited and waited, wondering what it meant....
Four months ago he suddenly came back married, and has never set foot within their doors! It was coa.r.s.e--shabby! And they had no one to stand up for them. She cried and cried, poor girl, and I fell in love with her ... indeed, I had been in love with her long before, all the time! I began comforting her, and was always going there.... Well, and I really don't know how it has all come about, only she came to love me; a week ago I could not restrain myself, I cried, I sobbed, and told her everything--well, that I love her--everything, in fact!... 'I am ready to love you, too, Va.s.sily Petrovitch, only I am a poor girl, don't make a mock of me; I don't dare to love any one.' Well, brother, you understand! You understand?... On that we got engaged on the spot. I kept thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking, I said to her, 'How are we to tell your mother?' She said, 'It will be hard, wait a little; she's afraid, and now maybe she would not let you have me; she keeps crying, too.' Without telling her I blurted it out to her mother to-day. Lizanka fell on her knees before her, I did the same ... well, she gave us her blessing. Arkasha, Arkasha! My dear fellow! We will live together. No, I won't part from you for anything."
"Vasya, look at you as I may, I can't believe it. I don't believe it, I swear. I keep feeling as though.... Listen, how can you be engaged to be married?... How is it I didn't know, eh? Do you know, Vasya, I will confess it to you now. I was thinking of getting married myself; but now since you are going to be married, it is just as good! Be happy, be happy!..."
"Brother, I feel so lighthearted now, there is such sweetness in my soul ..." said Vasya, getting up and pacing about the room excitedly. "Don't you feel the same? We shall be poor, of course, but we shall be happy; and you know it is not a wild fancy; our happiness is not a fairy tale; we shall be happy in reality!..."
"Vasya, Vasya, listen!"
"What?" said Vasya, standing before Arkady Ivanovitch.
"The idea occurs to me; I am really afraid to say it to you.... Forgive me, and settle my doubts. What are you going to live on? You know I am delighted that you are going to be married, of course, I am delighted, and I don't know what to do with myself, but--what are you going to live on? Eh?"
"Oh, good Heavens! What a fellow you are, Arkasha!" said Vasya, looking at Nefedevitch in profound astonishment. "What do you mean? Even her old mother, even she did not think of that for two minutes when I put it all clearly before her. You had better ask what they are living on! They have five hundred roubles a year between the three of them: the pension, which is all they have, since the father died. She and her old mother and her little brother, whose schooling is paid for out of that income too--that is how they live! It's you and I are the capitalists! Some good years it works out to as much as seven hundred for me."
"I say, Vasya, excuse me; I really ... you know I ... I am only thinking how to prevent things going wrong. How do you mean, seven hundred? It's only three hundred...."
"Three hundred!... And Yulian Mastakovitch? Have you forgotten him?"
"Yulian Mastakovitch? But you know that's uncertain, brother; that's not the same thing as three hundred roubles of secure salary, where every rouble is a friend you can trust. Yulian Mastakovitch, of course, he's a great man, in fact, I respect him, I understand him, though he is so far above us; and, by Jove, I love him, because he likes you and gives you something for your work, though he might not pay you, but simply order a clerk to work for him--but you will agree, Vasya.... Let me tell you, too, I am not talking nonsense. I admit in all Petersburg you won't find a handwriting like your handwriting, I am ready to allow that to you,"
Nefedevitch concluded, not without enthusiasm. "But, G.o.d forbid! you may displease him all at once, you may not satisfy him, your work with him may stop, he may take another clerk--all sorts of things may happen, in fact! You know, Yulian Mastakovitch may be here to-day and gone to-morrow...."
"Well, Arkasha, the ceiling might fall on our heads this minute."
"Oh, of course, of course, I mean nothing."
"But listen, hear what I have got to say--you know, I don't see how he can part with me.... No, hear what I have to say! hear what I have to say! You see, I perform all my duties punctually; you know how kind he is, you know, Arkasha, he gave me fifty roubles in silver to-day!"
"Did he really, Vasya? A bonus for you?"
"Bonus, indeed, it was out of his own pocket. He said: 'Why, you have had no money for five months, brother, take some if you want it; thank you, I am satisfied with you.'... Yes, really! 'Yes, you don't work for me for nothing,' said he. He did, indeed, that's what he said. It brought tears into my eyes, Arkasha. Good Heavens, yes!"
"I say, Vasya, have you finished copying those papers?..."
"No.... I haven't finished them yet."
"Vas...ya! My angel! What have you been doing?"
"Listen, Arkasha, it doesn't matter, they are not wanted for another two days, I have time enough...."
"How is it you have not done them?"
"That's all right, that's all right. You look so horror-stricken that you turn me inside out and make my heart ache! You are always going on at me like this! He's for ever crying out: Oh, oh, oh!!! Only consider, what does it matter? Why, I shall finish it, of course I shall finish it...."
"What if you don't finish it?" cried Arkady, jumping up, "and he has made you a present to-day! And you going to be married.... Tut, tut, tut!..."
"It's all right, it's all right," cried Shumkov, "I shall sit down directly, I shall sit down this minute."
"How did you come to leave it, Vasya?"
"Oh, Arkasha! How could I sit down to work! Have I been in a fit state?
Why, even at the office I could scarcely sit still, I could scarcely bear the beating of my heart.... Oh! oh! Now I shall work all night, and I shall work all to-morrow night, and the night after, too--and I shall finish it."
"Is there a great deal left?"
"Don't hinder me, for goodness' sake, don't hinder me; hold your tongue."
Arkady Ivanovitch went on tip-toe to the bed and sat down, then suddenly wanted to get up, but was obliged to sit down again, remembering that he might interrupt him, though he could not sit still for excitement: it was evident that the news had thoroughly upset him, and the first thrill of delight had not yet pa.s.sed off. He glanced at Shumkov; the latter glanced at him, smiled, and shook his finger at him, then, frowning severely (as though all his energy and the success of his work depended upon it), fixed his eyes on the papers.
It seemed that he, too, could not yet master his emotion; he kept changing his pen, fidgeting in his chair, re-arranging things, and setting to work again, but his hand trembled and refused to move.
"Arkasha, I've talked to them about you," he cried suddenly, as though he had just remembered it.
White Nights and Other Stories Part 21
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White Nights and Other Stories Part 21 summary
You're reading White Nights and Other Stories Part 21. This novel has been translated by Updating. Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky already has 560 views.
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