Wives and Widows; or The Broken Life Part 38

"Yes. I can't give the words; but she was saying, in her silky way, that Miss Jessie was so much altered since she met her at the sea-sh.o.r.e, so obstinate and demonstrative, vulgarized, as one might say, if anything so very beautiful could be vulgarized. But didn't Mr. Lee think that a companion who followed her pupil into society was rather a drawback, and apt to get a predominating influence over that of the parents? Was he certain of Miss Jessie's friend,--of her prudence and disinterestedness?

Of course, she had no right to give an opinion: but when the time came for a young lady to enter society, was there no reason to think that a household companion, like Miss Hyde, might become a dangerous counsellor? Of course, Mr. Lee knew best, his wisdom was never at fault; but would not a companion, perfectly dependent, and who had some experience in society, produce a better result?

"I wish you could 'a' seen Mr. Lee's face, Miss Hyde. He looked up all of a sudden, and his eyes flashed fire; Babylon saw it, and looked down as if b.u.t.ter wouldn't melt in her mouth; and then he took her hand in his,--it wasn't the first time, Miss Hyde, I'd bet my head on that, for it all came too easy--and I've seen what I have seen;--then he said how difficult it was to find such a person,--one who was an ornament to society, and yet willing to live in a place like that which Mrs. Lee's illness made, in some sort, like a prison.

"She left her hand in his, and lifted her eyes to his face sideways--you know how--and said a few words almost in a whisper. I couldn't catch the first word, but he turned red as fire and lifted her hand to his lips, almost; then he dropped it again and begged her pardon."

I had no power to stop Lottie's narrative. The import of this conversation struck me with a sudden pang. It seemed as if sentence of death had been p.r.o.nounced upon me. What could I do? Where on earth was a home like that to be found? What would Jessie and Mrs. Lee do without me? That woman in my place! The thought was anguish. I almost hated her.

Lottie stood by the bed, looking at me, with trouble in her face.

"I knew that it would be a blow; but this is worse than I expected," she said. "How white you are--how your lips quiver! But don't take on so.

Let them try it; let Babylon do her worst--she'll find her match. I've learned a thing or two, since she came, that I didn't know before,--especially how to droop your eyelids and look meek, then open 'em quick and flash out fire. It's taking, I've tried it with--with--"

"With whom, Lottie?"

"With--but no matter; when the birds sing, chickens have a right to peep. Babylon isn't the only person who can turn a feller's head, and good looks is according to one's taste. Then there's a difference in flirting, when the object is a good one; don't you think so, Miss Hyde?"

"I don't know, Lottie," was my dreary answer; "you must ask about these matters of some one who has had more experience."

"Oh! I don't care about asking; it all comes natural enough after the first lesson. But you won't let them drive you away--it would break her heart, I know it would."

Lottie's eyes were full of tears. Poor girl! she had a good heart.

This sympathy touched me deeply. I was so desolate and felt so wronged, that a kind word filled me with grat.i.tude, even from Lottie.

"Oh! ma'am, don't mind it! Babylon sha'n't hurt you while I can help it.

Only be firm, and don't go off in a fit of pride. Stand your ground to the last, and when the worst comes to the worst, depend on me."

The girl took my hand and kissed it; then, kneeling down by the bed, laid her face close to mine.

"Miss Hyde--"

"Well, my good girl."

"I have something to say, something that worries me dreadfully; are you listening?"

"Yes, child."

"It is about mistress. Don't you see how dreadfully thin she is getting?

You can almost look through her hand."

"Yes, Lottie, it makes my heart ache to think of it. Have you any idea of the cause?"

"_He_ don't visit her much now."

"You have noticed it, you--"

"I count the minutes every day."

"This might vex her, but not to the extent that seems so visible."

"No, there is something else. I cannot understand it; but wait awhile, Miss Hyde, I'm on hand."

I hardly heard this. The idea that my presence in that house had become a burden, that I might be at any moment desired to leave my place in the family for that woman to fill, absorbed my faculties, and in the selfishness of my distress, I gave less heed than the subject claimed to what the girl was saying.

She saw this, I suppose; for, with renewed entreaties that I should hold firmly to my position and trust to her for the rest, she crept from the room, almost crying.

CHAPTER XLIV.

THE MIDNIGHT DISCOVERY.

About an hour after this I arose, bathed my forehead, and went into Mrs.

Lee's chamber, for the pain of my solitary thoughts became unendurable.

The poor lady was lying on the sofa, with her eyes closed, looking more wan than ever. Something troubled her, I am sure; for tears were swelling under the transparent whiteness of her eyelids, and her hands were clasped over her bosom. This was an att.i.tude habitual to her when disturbed by any grief, and seeing it, I turned to go away; but she heard my footstep and opened her eyes. There was something in her manner that went to my heart--a sort of mournful constraint, as if she shrunk from my presence. Still she held forth her hand.

I sat down in my old place, and she closed her eyes again, as if any effort at speech was beyond her strength. In the broader light which fell upon her face, I saw that she had been crying--an unusual thing with her at any time; for all sources of trouble had been kept so sedulously from that room, that grief amounting to tears seldom found its way there.

After a prolonged silence that chilled me to the heart, she laid her hand on mine, and I saw that her earnest eyes were searching my face.

"Dear Miss Hyde, we have been so happy together--I thought no family was ever united like ours!"

I understood the pathos in her voice, the meaning of her words. Mr. Lee had begun the subject; already they were about to prove how troublesome and useless I had been--how much my place was wanted for another.

"You do not speak," she said, "surely, nothing has been said to wound you?"

"No," I answered, "I only come to see if you were in want of anything."

"Ah! you have always been so attentive, so kind! How shall I get along without you?"

So it was decided. He had spoken, and they had settled my destiny; the gentle invalid yielding without a murmur while her best friend was driven from under her roof. I had no heart to continue the conversation, and she, poor lady! evidently lacked the courage to speak plainer. Thus, with apprehensions and grief, we remained together in silence. Her eyes were closed, but not with sleep, I am sure of that; and I felt a dead heaviness creeping over me, which carried with it a dreary sense of pain.

It was getting dark when I left the chamber. The depression was so heavy upon me that I went down to the kitchen, thinking to ask the cook for a cup of warm tea. Lottie was there busy at the range, and, singular enough, making tea, as if my wants had been divined.

"A handful, cook," she said, holding out the silver teapot for a renewed supply. "I want it good and strong, something that will make one's eyes snap."

When the cook turned to put her canister in its place, Lottie went to the closet and brought out two cups and saucers.

"Miss Hyde," she said, "you have just come in time. I knew it'd be wanted: try a good, strong cup, it will have the ache out of your head in no time."

I thanked her and took the cup she offered. It was strong to bitterness, and I did not like the taste; but when I pa.s.sed it back, Lottie put in more sugar and cream, but no water. I was too weary for protest, and drank the bitterness without further comment.

Lottie seemed pleased, and insisted earnestly that I should take a second cup, filling her own for the third time, and draining it with what I thought must be heroism instead of desire.

"There," she said, setting her cup down, "that will do, I reckon; it makes my head as light as a cork. How do you feel, Miss Hyde?"